Posted , 21 users are following.
im at my breaking point! im 30 and i have nothing! i really mean nothing! i live with my mum and stepdad i dont work, i dont leave the house hardly at all, the only thing i do is watch tv show after tv show so i can escape into a better life but the minute i stop watching something i start feeling down, i go days not talking out loud, my mum barely talks to me shes too wrapped up in her own world, i have a sister who doesnt have the time or patience for me and i dont have any friends.
im incapable of having any kind of relationship with anyone so really when you think about it i really do need to just give up! im so unhappy, im so alone its unreal and i dont want to go on anymore like this and i know i wont get any better as i have tried everything the doctor has thrown at me i completed CBT which is the only free service available so i have been discharged for the like 100th time.. i cant go on anymore and yet im pathetic and dont have the guts to do anything.
i think of what i could do to kill myself and it sounds awful and painful i just hope i get to the point where i am so desperate i just do it without thinking!
i have been looking around on the internet for hours cos i just cant explain how lonley i feel right now and the internet offers nothing! it makes me feel worse because mental health is just subjected around Young people now and im not young anymore i have suffered my whole life it just gets worse! i try not to self harm cos that makes me feel worse ! its such a kid thing to do apparently! no one will probably even finish reading this cos why would they! im not looking for an answer as there really is just one and that would be to end all !
if i go and stand at the edge of somewhere will anyone come and push me off the edge? think thats what i need.. i need someone to push me so i dont have to jump!
im so desperate i dont know what to do!!!!
Sorryy
4 likes, 29 replies
mark01943 rachh
Posted
rachh mark01943
Posted
how you doing?
mark01943 rachh
Posted
It can all seem so hopeless, and there is no end to being like this, I totally understand, trust me, but it can get better, it really can
rachh mark01943
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mark01943 rachh
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Honestly, I am not full of bull, I have been in some dark, dark places, so I know what it feels like, and people can say " oh you be fine" but it's not that easy, if it was as easy as flicking a switch and being ok, we would do it, we don't want to be like this.
But it can be ok. If you have bad days, don't be hard on yourself about it. I have some really bad thoughts, and you can beat yourself up about it, don't, your not going nuts, I know I'm not bonkers.......well some people may think so! You only have to look on here to see you are far from being alone in being like this, now that might nit appear to be much help, but we do understand.
I am not one fir self help books, frankly I can't be added with them and just don't believe in them, but, I have read one that REALLY hut a cord with me.
The Chimp Paradox, by Dr Steven Peters.
Give it a go, my guess it will help
daniel59977 rachh
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Vickycam rachh
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Swelve rachh
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bill95615 rachh
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Rachh, I have been and right now still am in a very similar situation like yours, and honestly,I got to tell you friend,it is very dark, and very lonely in this life,but...it doesn't have to remain that way....I purpose a solution to gain better control of this feeling of hopelessness that has you feeling so entrenched. Try making somthing great happen or helps lending hand for any other living being or creature..other than yourself..as you do this..it will define in you a better since of self worth and confidence....I myself so this..it helps to alleviate. What's negative....please give it honest thought,Enlightend journeys friend- Bill
michi79405 rachh
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jonlucas rachh
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Rachh,
I'm 21. I cannot speak to anyone. I live the n a home for people with mental health issues because of my depression and anxiety. My parents still paying for everything. I am paranoid every time I'm by myself and I'm m always by myself. I try to watch tv because it's the only thing I have the courage to do now. It's so lonely that I think the only thing I should do is commit suicide but that hurt my family for the rest of there lives. It's the most surreal/unpleasant experience and it's horrible because it's my life. There's no way out of it-I just get so quiet and uncomfortable when I get around other people that I just get angry... and that anger stays with me. So your post actually related to me. I'm sorry you have to endure this experience I know what you are talking about
mcevoy1980 rachh
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margaret_41605 rachh
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Hello Rachh, I certainly read to the end, it made me cry, my son says exactly the same . I'm very unhappy that it's a very lonely existence, I wish I could change everything for you.
Chris thinks life is already writen and wants no part. It breaks my heart,
I hope you have found peace and that things have changed. Xx
ife11913 rachh
Posted
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