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42 and frightened

Posted , 12 users are following.

wendy19977
wendy19977

Hi there. I'm new here and i'd like a little bit of advice if at all possible. I gave up smoking at new year, just over two years ago. My dad died from emphysema when he has 60, and i always said that if i ever got a cough that reminded me of my dad i would quit. It got to the point where i was coughing myself to sleep each night, and i realised this wasn't just a cold that was going away, so i set myself a smoking deadline of new year (this was in the autumn) and did just that. Well 90% of my cough went away virtually overnight, but i was left with a niggly throat clearing thing, which wasn't too much hassle. Felt pretty good, and pleased with myself. So anyway, a couple of weeks ago i was doing a meditation app, and the instruction was to take a deep breath and hold it. It kind of took me by surprise, and the next day my back was hurting. So i made an appointment for the docs and she booked me in for a chest xray and prescribed me a peak flow meter and some ventolin. 3 times a day i have to do a best of 3 reading, take two puffs of ventolin, then twenty mins later do another best of 3 reading. After three days of doing so i'm feeling constantly breathless, worse than i ever did, i still have that pain in the left side of my back, and i am sure now that indeed i have emphysema like my dad. I feel like crying all the time yet i'm putting a brave face on for everyone. I don't have any kids, and my boyfriend still smokes in the house. I try not to be around it, bit it's only a small house and difficult to avoid. He didn't see the long horrible death my dad had, both his parents are still fit and healthy. My morning peak flow reading is 350 and the other two (noon and night) are roughly 370 with hardly any difference from the ventolin except i think its giving me a dry throat. I guess my question is, has anyone else had COPD from age 40 and still lived a long time? How bearable is it? Because my dad carried on smoking quite far into his (he gave up when he went on oxygen) i'm finding it hard to expect anything different than he got. Also is it possible for the peak flow tests to be making me breathless? Thankyou for any advice, i'm so down right now i just don't know what to do. I'm dreading the xray results, i should get them some time next week. I've read loads on the internet, and alot say it doesn't get too much worse if you quit, but then everyone on the forum's experiences suggest otherwise. I'm scared and confused, thank you in advance

5 likes, 33 replies

33 Replies

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  • margaret77788
    margaret77788 wendy19977

    Posted

    Wendy you have been so smart to quit at a relatively early age - i waited until i was 59 - some of the people on this site are in their seventies and eighties and are still leading vital enjoyable lives - you have certainly come to the right spot - we're all in the same boat here - you can live a very long life even if the diagnosis is copd - you've done the hardest part and that is quitting smoking - we're all rooting for you - keep in touch xoxo
    • fedup2
      fedup2 margaret77788

      Posted

      Hi,I know yoy replied to Wendy but as I spend another sleepless night I saw your post.I opened one yesterday and while I agree with you on age,I hope quality improves.As I said in my post I am 58 and good life does not enter my thoughts.I can go nowhere as am worn out after shower and dressing,am hugh after meds,am depressed and crying maybe due to copd ,can't sleep due to ?.I stopped smoking but found that ok as my breath was so bad I really was not able to smoke.Wendy I am sorry fo say all this but as I said to you I am hopeful you have been caught in time and as you stopoed smoking around 40 are in a much better state than me.Margaret is your life better than mine or am I just unlucky.Do you sleep usually,as when i saw yoh posted at around 3 I thought you were like me.Hope I am wrong.Take care.
    • wendy19977
      wendy19977 margaret77788

      Posted

      Hi margaret, thank you so much for your reply. I'm sorry we had to meet in these circumstances. I've read quite alot of posts from people in their 70's but most of those seemed to only get diagnosed late in life. I'm worried that if i'm having symptoms now, even though they're not that debilitating right now, it means i'm going to get bad early, like my dad who was 60 and had been seriously ill with it for at least 5 years before he died. I keep trying to rack my brains to think about his symptoms, but i was only 7 when he was the age i am now so i can't really remember. I'm trying not to think about it all, but i can't help it. I'm thinking of asking the doc when i go back if i can be referred for counselling, i've obviously never got over what happened, and this is my worst nightmare coming true. Thankyou so much for being there and listening x x x
  • htnnkeepa
    htnnkeepa wendy19977

    Posted

    Hi Wendy,  I am 56 and coming up 57 this year,  I was diagnosed with COPD May last year,  at that time I was working in a fairly high polluted area with a very fine black sooty dust flying around my work place,  I only went off to the Dr after a continuous nagging cough followed by heavy mucus and constantly wanting to spit it out (yuk),  anyway,  on being given this info I was rather shocked, as I had quit the smoking nearly 9 years ago,  I guess it was coming just that I exaserbated the problem by working in a polluted enviroment,  so though not entirely the pollution but more to the point my early days of smoking has really come back to bite me on the insides.   I as given the puffers and spacers to use,  and yes you do have a dry mouth and still have that raspy cough going, along with the mucusy cough,  all in all it is a struggle coming to terms with the condition,  however,  you must try not to let it take over your mind but try to make thevery best of your life by continuing to do exercise in particular brisk walk if you are still able to,  yoga, breathing exercises,  surround yourself with fit healthy people and most of all, talk about your condition to anyone and everyone who you know will listen,  it is not a sympathy seeking exercise, but more a awareness exercise,  you will be pleasantly surprised at just how many others in your circle suffer from the same or smilar condition,  so  you are not alone,  please don't be scared or frightened of this, but more to the point go with it and work your body and soul to its limits and  push the body boundaries to make for an active and comfortable journey as you come to terms with dealing with it.....This forum is awesome and you can relate to so much of the discussion but also know you are not alone....I hope this helps in your thinking as you move forward....I am still working in a department store as a casual worker and yes, I take my puffer which lasts for 12hrs,  so I am able to get on with as normal day as I possibly can....good luck.....keep smiling...
    • wendy19977
      wendy19977 htnnkeepa

      Posted

      Thankyou so much for taking the time to reach out and share your story with me. If i thought i was going to live to 57 and still be able to live relatively normally that would be a big comfort to me. As you can see from fedups post, it's not something i can take as a given, and i can't help but despair a bit. Maybe i have to go through this in order to come to terms with the whole thing. I will indeed make an effort to get my fitness back, i used to be reasonably fit, but put a stone and a half on when i quit smoking, which made exercising more trouble, plus i got achilles problems, so i stopped. Talking about all this so honestly has really helped, the bf doesn't want to hear it, maybe he just thinks i'm piling it on to get him to quit. This has been the week from hell waiting for the results, especially with the bank holiday where everyones happy and theres nothing to do. I'll phone up tomorrow and hopefully my results will be in and i can at least get some idea of where i'm at. I'm so sorry that you gave up and then still got diagnosed, so unfair that a dusty job brought you down. I hope now you're away from that that your progression slows down, and long may you continue to be able to do what you're doing x x x
    • poppysocks1
      poppysocks1 wendy19977

      Posted

      As some know on here,I have been diagnosed with COPD ( empysema),I'm 68,(was disgnosed a couple of months after xmas)

      My trouble/problem is I am addicted to smoking roll ups...(shame face)

      I enjoy a ciggy,and can't face giving up.I don't know why, but I have a fear of the fear of giving up.

      I am being truthful about this,so as not to let you all think I am a goodie person,I'm not !!

      I am thinking what is the point of giving up it's not going to make much difference to the proogression ,not really not for me...

      I have yet to except that I have got this disease,it will not sink in to my brain.

      Wish I could explain my feelings bettter,but I can't,so much stress in my life,always has been and still on going.

      OH does not like the idea of me seeing someone to talk to about it all,so I thought I would just jot it /my feelings on here,just to relieve my brain of the stress I have,and the shame that I go on smoking.

      Hugs to you all out there,who have the strength to carry on fighting,and being able to address your condition and share your thoughts with us all.

      Take care.

    • nutty65
      nutty65 wendy19977

      Posted

      Hi Wendy  so sorry to hear your feeling so down.

      My story started  when I had been coughing for six months tried all the otc remedies and nothing helped.

      Because we were going away for christmas to stay with friend I didnt want to be there coughing all the time. So went to the doctors they told me I had astham and gave me an inhaler antibiotics and steriods which  I religiously took.

      We were staying in a villa in spain which had no damp course and it had been raining for 5 weeks before we went the walls were black and the windowns running with condensation they had a dog whoes hairs were over everything and they had a wood fire in the lounge very nice and christmasy but not good for me.  We had to move out into a local hotel for the remainder of the stay. I was epecting to feel so much better but actualy through I would end up in hospital feeling like I did.

      However I came home and with a few weeks I was feeling much better which lasted about 2 years then I started coughing again.

       I was still smoking at this time I went to my doctors again being given antibiotics and steriods plus the inhaler and was told to get a chest xray, which I did so after hearing nothing for a month I felt that everything was clear or so I throught. The letter arrived out of the blue. I had to return for   a 2nd xray I was sick with worry. I said to my daughter if they tell me I have cancer of the lungs Im not packing up smoking but if I haven't I will.

      The xray showed a line across the bottom of my left lung and they didn't know what it was. I was referred to a speciaslist who didn't know what it was either she wanted me to have a scan but because I am claustaphobic I refused she just said to go away and enjoy the rest of my life.

      I gave up smoking within 3 months as promised to my daughter.

      my doctor was seeing me every 6 months for tests and added in another inhalor and a nose spray for the rhinitus the smoking had caused to the lining of my nose, The doctor  said thing were improving but I wasn't doing any better still coughing and always out of breath.

      I was told I had copd within the year.  I had put on 4 stone in weight had something come to my foot which meat I could hadly walk and was in terible pain I also started coughing up blood. I was sent to see another specialist convinced I did have cancer I agreed to the scan though not the big one a shorter one which just covered the chest area.

      The line was still there but nothing else. The line was where my lung was missing which showed I now have emphacemia (I think thats how you spell it)The blood apparently was coming from my nose and going into my throad and this was what I was coughing up. Apparently the nasal spray had this side effect when used for many years as I had.

      Because of my foot pain and the steriods I was putting on more weight and not able to exercise so the weight increased. I was sent to see a dietrician and then to a respiratory doctor who tested me for sleep apnea

      but wasn't able to use the mask and machine because of my claustaphobia.

      My doctor tells me now my test results show I only have Asthma with half a lung which is pretty good going. Unfortunate this journey has caused other problems which makes my quality of life poor but im alive and have 2 grandchildren which I dont think I would have seen if things gone the way thay went over the years.

      I'm now 65 years old packed up smoking 10 years now I wish it had been 50 year ago.

      I get depressed when I cant do things and cant talk because I cant get my breath

      I feel if I hadnt had the other problems and now only has asthma I would feel marvelous. So thing can improve with copd.

    • wendy19977
      wendy19977 poppysocks1

      Posted

      Argh i just typed you the longest reply and stupid iphone crashed and wiped the whole thing. I'll give you the shorter version, ha. I too smoked rollies, and liked smoking, but for me that cough was scary enough to make me stop. Maybe you'll have a scary moment too and stop, or maybe you'll just carry on, either way completely your call, i don't judge you one bit, how can i as an ex smoker? Strange that your OH doesn't want you to see anyone, maybe just tell him you have to go for tests and go see soneone anyway if you think it will help you? I'm glad that i quit when i did, but wish i'd never started (of course). I hope everything goes well for you X
    • wendy19977
      wendy19977 poppysocks1

      Posted

      Argh i just typed you the longest reply and stupid iphone crashed and wiped the whole thing. I'll give you the shorter version, ha. I too smoked rollies, and liked smoking, but for me that cough was scary enough to make me stop. Maybe you'll have a scary moment too and stop, or maybe you'll just carry on, either way completely your call, i don't judge you one bit, how can i as an ex smoker? Strange that your OH doesn't want you to see anyone, maybe just tell him you have to go for tests and go see soneone anyway if you think it will help you? I'm glad that i quit when i did, but wish i'd never started (of course). I hope everything goes well for you X
    • wendy19977
      wendy19977 nutty65

      Posted

      Oh wow what a story! So do you not have emphysema now, only asthma? It sounds like you've had so many problems, i really feel for you. Hearing all of your stories has really made me think. I still feel doom and gloom on my head, but only time will tell i suppose. I hope things improve for you X
    • Karry
      Karry wendy19977

      Posted

      Wendy, I watched my OH's brother slowly dying for 3 yrs from copd. He changed from an active outdoorsy person to a helpless bag of bones, lying in  hospital after  getting pneumonia & in severe pain. I would not wish his final 3yrs on my worst enemy. He was 70, a heavy smoker all his life. My best wishes to you....Karry
    • wendy19977
      wendy19977 Karry

      Posted

      Hi karry, thanks for replying to my post. Was he fit and then just crashed, or did he have symptoms or other illnesses before? I'm hoping to get more than 3 years! 
    • Karry
      Karry wendy19977

      Posted

      Hi Wendy. My brother-in-law had a gradual decline, starting off maybe 20 years ago. He'd have good days & bad days. Eventually he became increasingly short of breath. He never gave op the fags (40aday). Death came as a relief to him in the end as he had no quality of life whatsoever.

      Sorry if I sound morbid but that was my only experience of copd. I had a stop/start relationship with the fags myself but eventually managed to quit 10yrs ago, which was a good thing as I have developed other health issues since then, but thats a story for another time. take care Wendy. Nice talking to you

    • wendy19977
      wendy19977 Karry

      Posted

      Hi karry, no not morbid, i watched my dad go like that, that's why i'm so frightened now. I can imagine only too well how awful it is and i don't want that to happen to me. I wish wish wish i'd never started smoking. At the moment it's all i can think about and i'm sleeping badly because i wake up and my mind starts whirring and i can't sleep again. I'm sure i'll come to terms with it all in time, whatever may be. Thankyou again 
    • kevin69896
      kevin69896 wendy19977

      Posted

      Hi all, after reading your stories it comes to mind how this disease(copd) varies so much with different people. I was diagnosed with copd about 4years ago and reffered to a specialist. After ct scans I was diagnosed with emphysema , pulmanory fibrosis and bronchestisis. I have gone from being very active to a very seditory life style relying on wheelchairs, and most difficult of all help from other people.i packed up smoking almost straight away. The fibrosis is idiopathic but thought to be caused from working in the building industry most of my life. Being a carpenter and working with hardwoods and the deadly mdf that we all use now. The prognosis for me is not good I,m at home but receiving palliative care from my local hospital. I stay positive and keep my chin up. My advice to anyone with this disease is to research it yourselves patient uk is a good sight don't listen to people offering miracle cures they don,t exist but most of all stay positive. Every breath is precious 
    • wendy19977
      wendy19977 kevin69896

      Posted

      Hi kevin, i'm so sad to read your story, it must be so bad for you. It truly does put my problems into perspective. Did you have bad symptoms before your diagnosis? Thank you for sharing, hearing other peoples stories is really helping. I am in awe that you manage to keep positive, just fab X 
    • Karry
      Karry wendy19977

      Posted

      Wendy, you are going through a very bad phase at the moment by the sounds of you. It  will pass , believe me. . Just hold tough, I've been there in that dark place but it never lasts more than a few days. Just bear in mind you're going to be ok
    • wendy19977
      wendy19977 Karry

      Posted

      Thank you so much, that really does mean alot X
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