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79 year old father has stage 4 copd. Wants death with dignity. Girlfriend fighting.

Posted , 3 users are following.

annie95361
annie95361

My father has stage 4 copd. He sleeps at least 16 hours a day. Wakes up to use restroom and go outside to smoke. On oxygen, nebulizer, inhalers, steroids. He can only walk small distances then has to stop. He wants to use the "death with dignity" option available to him in oregon but his girlfriend keeps telling him no. He is always agitated and doesn't want his children around because of the way our mother died. (Long suffering with lung cancer) His girlfriend is allowing him to shut us out. We just want to help him. We feel he is close to dying and want to be with him. How can we estimate how much time he has left? The girlfriend tries to force feed him and always tries to wake him when he's resting. I just dont know what to do.

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • Guest
    Guest annie95361

    Posted

    Hi Annie, I am sorry to read this. We can never imagine what it is like when someone is suffering. Ultimately, it is your father's decision as well as the doctors. Suffering and trauma sometimes leaves permanent scars on the person which not everyone can get over and there is no shame in that. Take him to his pulmonologist and let him give you a prognosis. If he doesn't want to go, bring the doctor to him.

    You have to empathize with his girlfriend. She does not want to give up on him. She wakes him to feed him because, without adequate nutrition, he sure has less time and his suffering is more.

    I am not a doctor nor haveI experienced this. But I lost my dad when he was 54 due to lung and heart complications. In the end, my dad just gave us and stopped taking his medication. No matter how much we forced him and pushed him, his will was gone. All we could do is not give up.

    Thoughts and prayers with you and your family.

  • ellen68007
    ellen68007 annie95361

    Posted

    Annie this is hear wrenching. This man is your Father so I appreciate your position. This is such a hard call. If I were you and I am not but I would go see his Doctor to see if there is anything as his Daughter that you can do. Only a thought hon. Keep us posted. 
  • aitarg35939
    aitarg35939 annie95361

    Posted

    Hi Annie

    The only thing I can add aside from my empathy is this: If you want to talk to your dad's doc, you'll need your dad's permission, can't get around that in the States.

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