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9 months later & starting day 1 again

Posted , 9 users are following.

sadie_dee70150
sadie_dee70150

Hi everyone! So after 9 months I am back here again. Some of you may remember my story. I binge drink secretly a few nights a week. I had come clean about it to my husband & even went to my doctor to talk about it & get some meds which unfortunately she could not provide as I live in Ireland. I was determined to get my drinking under control to stop at least secretly drinking but I failed again. I chose to just live with it for the last 9 months until again in a drunken state I broke down in front of my husband last night. He admitted he thought I had my drinking under control at the beginning but then noticed I made sure there was always vodka in the cupboard & without fail every weekend once our son was in bed I had a glass poured & this was only what he knew about I was also secretly drinking from a hidden bottle so it looked like I was drinking less. 

I woke up this morning thinking okay you can do this, you have to really do it this time. That voice in my head then creeps in ah just stop for a while then you'll be able to at least keep up your social life & have a few drinks & keep your friends. This is another problem every single friend I have drinks & drinks a lot. Our friendships are based on going out & getting drunk or on holiday & getting drunk. I had even told them last year that I was going off the drink for a while to get my head straight & I they said we'll do stuff based on not drinking & it didn't happen. To do this I feel I need to change my lifestyle & maybe my friends. To be honest I love them but they are the worst people to be friends with if you want to be sober. I just don't know how to approach this- do I just disappear & concentrate on myself & my family & why do I even care about what they will think so much & how to cope with future situations where drink will be involved for me it seems like it has to be stay away

I know I have to do this for my Son I don't want him having a Mother with a drinking problem he does not deserve that. He is now 5 & the older he gets even though I don't do it infront of him he will see my hangovers & other signs. I feel I drink because nothing else gives me true pleasure & I need this to change so I can live & feel the happiness I should feel from my Son & husband. My husband yet again said he will support me even though I let him down again but I explained to him I had convinced him I was okay & as soon as he thought I was at it again to call me out on it but he told me although he was worried he said to himself she is an adult she needs to figure it out. I understand that but when I feel on my own with it it is so easy to keep drinking. I asked him to tell me did he think I should stop for good, for a while, just socially ? Where was his head at with it. He told me he thinks for good & he thinks I can do it & that I need to do it for myself. He told me I may have to give up my friends & tell my family but the more steps I take the easier it will be to face it & talk about it & to not feel the guilt anymore. I know he is right - its as plain as this I don't know if I trust myself - more so that voice that comes into my head poking at me & willing me to drink.

I came back here today as I found it did help me last time. I am hoping this is day one of beating this. Any comments I would appreciate. I can't believe this is my life & I ended up with this problem & talking on here makes me feel I am not the only one.

Thank you 

Sadie Dee xxx

1 like, 25 replies

25 Replies

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  • Margusha
    Margusha sadie_dee70150

    Posted

    How are you doing? Unfortunately, excessive alcohol use can lead to the development of chronic diseases and other serious problems including: high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, cancer, liver disease, and digestive problems. A comprehensive treatment plan for alcohol dependence should consist of the following components:

    Drugs that block the craving for alcohol

    Detox medications

    Medications that restore liver function and cardiovascular system

    Brain enhancing drugs

    Psychotherapy

    Blood irradiation therapy

    Biofeedback Therapy

    I would discuss all these with a psychiatrist. 

    • sadie_dee70150
      sadie_dee70150 Margusha

      Posted

      Hi Margusha,

      I have decided to stop drinking at home as this is where my secret drinking to excess began.  I don't have a physical dependency on alcohol. I had no drink on Saturday & Sunday gone & it has been a long long time since I had no weekend binge & I was okay with it. The last time I tried was much harder trigger time would set in & I would struggle. So going forward no drinking at home just when I'm out which isn't too often. 

      I did get my bloods done 9 months ago & everything was fine so hoping I'm still okay. 

  • ADEfree
    ADEfree sadie_dee70150

    Posted

    Sadie, did you try to get Nalmefene from your doctor? Sometimes it takes a bit of research as not every NHS area does things the same way. You will probably have to find out who is responsible for prescribing it in your NHS area and take the matter up with them. CThreeEurope might well be able to help you with that kind of info, have a look at their link under The Sinclair Method on this page:

    https://patient.info/forums/discuss/useful-resources-487627

    • sadie_dee70150
      sadie_dee70150 ADEfree

      Posted

      Hi there, 

      Yes I have looked into the Sinclair Method. I found about it from this forum 9 months ago when I decided I needed help. I live in Ireland & the method is not done here. I did go to my doctor to see if she would prescribe it & it was a no - she did some research & told me only one doctor she knows has Nalemfene but does prescribe is as The Sinclair Method so unfortuantly I cannot get the medication I just have to try & go on willpower but I would so like to try the method it sounds like a much easier option 

    • Joanna-SMUKLtd
      Joanna-SMUKLtd sadie_dee70150

      Posted

      Nalmefene is available in Ireland and I know about 15 to 20 people who are using it. They don't call it the Sinclair method but it is prescribed the same way.

      If you want to pursue this, call into a pharmacy and ask them to print out the section on nalmefene from the Irish medicines formulary. Off the top of my head it is listed under the Toxicology section of the formulary. The formulary is a list of medicines approved in Ireland and how they are to be prescribed etc.

      Once you have this, read it and if you meet the criteria for it as stated by the Irish health authority, then make a complaint in writing to your gp.

    • ADEfree
      ADEfree Robin2015

      Posted

      We're so fortunate to have Joanna to rely on for this type of information!

    • Joanna-SMUKLtd
      Joanna-SMUKLtd ADEfree

      Posted

      Thank you! I could get access to the formulary myself if I paid an 80 euro subscription fee. I have asked numerous people to email me a copy of what the pharmacist printed off for them so I could see exactly what it says, but to date no one has, sadly.
    • sadie_dee70150
      sadie_dee70150 Joanna-SMUKLtd

      Posted

      Hi Joanna,

      I was  actually chatting to you about this when I was on here 9 months ago. I went to my doctor with print outs I got online & she took it & read through it. I went back to her a week later under the instructions to not drink & she told me she knew of one GP that would prescribe this but not to use as The Sinclair Method but to talk to him about it.  She told me that the clinic where she is based would not prescribe Nalmefene. I never pursued going to the other doctor, I suppose I felt a bit dis heartened & decided to restrict myself to just drinking one night a week instead. I think I did that for a couple of weeks & returned to a half bottle of vodka 2/3 times a week & I stopped posting on here. Now I am back ! I do feel like I can stop the secret drinking this time but it is early days - I can't out my finger on it but something is different this time. I am not dreading the weekend ahead of  not drinking. There is at present no alcohol in the house. This could all change once the weekend comes & those triggers but I'm optimistic. The next social event I have on the calendar is my husband's  Birthday but that might just be a trip to the cinema & after that a party in March. I am going to allow myself to drink in a social situation & see how it goes. If it ends in a binge then that is out too as well as the home drinking. Usually when I go out socially I am a slower drinker than my friends & I seem to drink in a different way than at home if that makes sense. 

      Sorry Joanna here I am blabbing- thank you for your response. If in the next few weeks my plan doesn't work I will go to the pharmacy for sure .

      Sadie Dee x

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