90 Days

Posted , 16 users are following.

I've been sober 90 days. I just wanted to share it somewhere, to mark it somehow... I hope it doesn't sound (too) self-congratulating.

I was never sure that counting days was a good idea - I try not to dwell on how long it's been but I can't help it really!

It feels like a big moment (a quarter of a year!) but as ever I'm taking each day as it comes, being careful not to get complacent. Sometimes I go days on end without temptation, some days the temptation is like a fly buzzing in front of my face. Only last night, when I was feeling quite down in the dumps, the temptation to have a drink was suddenly very strong indeed. I just kept thinking 'oh go on, you've done so well - a couple of cans of lager would really take the edge off and you've earned it'. 

For me, exercise has really helped. Booking an early morning exercise class for when I'm a bit stressed creates the impetus to have an early night. A couple of friends have said 'you're getting addicted to exercise' - maybe true but as I now know there are worse things to get addicted to!

I've been having treatment for anxiety for a few years, and I've been surprised at how going sober has lessened my overall anxiety. My old notion that alcohol de-stressed me was a myth I had come to believe. Last month I overcame my fear of flying and got on a plane for the first time in 10 years. I can't link this *directly* to sobriety but maybe it isn't a coincidence. 

7 likes, 31 replies

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  • Posted

    I think Paul has summed it up well but as the OP I just want to give my own 2 cents worth.

    I do see your point Jim - I don't want to be someone who in 10 years time is sitting in the corner of a party with a slimline tonic talking about why I'm sober whilst secretly looking at my friends' alcoholic drinks with Princess Diana eyes. 

    But I guess the fact is that in my case (and of course I can only speak for myself), several previous attempts to quit floundered very quickly because I was doing it completely alone. To share and read the stories of others in the same boat did make a difference to me and continue to do so. I don't get the chance to talk about it with friends because, to put it mildly, they have no understanding. Educating myself a bit about alcohol by reading various books also helped - as much as anything they reduced the guilt and shame I'd been feeling and put my issues in context, made me feel less alone in this situation. For me personally if I'd taken the view 'oh I'm cured now, no need to work on this issue any more' I'd have lapsed very soon. I admit that for now I am not cured and that, though most days I don't go round carrying the miserable burden of wishing I could drink, sometimes the cravings hit me very very hard. It helps to have something there.

    In terms of support I don't think its necessarily about caring what other people think (though I'll admit I do) - I think the need for support and affirmation is just something we as a human species thrive on, and why not use it if it helps? I've been doing a lot of physical training recently - sometimes alone and sometimes in a group. I can tell you that the things I can achieve with a group of friends who are experiencing the same thing and shouting encouragement is noticeably much greater. I can see it's not for everyone, but it works for me.

  • Posted

    Thx for sharing your awesome progress, Peter! For me, I like to be around Alcoholics for two reasons:

    1. Those trying to stay sober are very supportive because only they know the challenges I struggle with every day.

    2. Those who are not interested in a sober life and are happy to be drunk remind me of what I am when drinking. (Not a nice person!)

    For me, one sober day is a great accomplishment. I send best wishes to everyone and plse remember, with this forum no one needs to 'go it alone'. We love the success stories and we also need the reminders of 'those days'.

  • Posted

    Well done, keep going and every one should share such a good new to give hope to others who think it's impossible to get sober!
  • Posted

    Good work Peter97822, I'll congratulate you on your 3 months plus 15 days.

    Most importantly, how do you feel about yourself?  It's a matter of time and substitution I think.  Sometimes it meant not seeing old friends who drank heavily, but that's the time to meet someone new who doesn't drink but has fun anyway.  I went directly to weenie beer, I think it was the Old Milwaukee non-alcoholic that I drank for awhile until I could drop the crutch.  That was bad tasting stuff too.  

    Yes it's time to discover the world of non alcoholics, especially things like meetings in libraries or other such buildings where there is no alcohol.  Once 6 months or a year pass it's a lot easier to see the old drinking friends, and give them the old "when are you going to quit?"  

    I had a strong incentive to quit since the doctor said my peripheral neuropathy was caused by over drinking, that made it easier.   Plus I'd about worn it out I think.  Now I can take a drink without fear of having it haunt me, just as I can smoke a cigarette with no fear.  But two cigarettes and it comes back to me the next day, that old feeling.

    Best wishes to you, I imagine you have a lot of people pulling for you......

    charley

    • Posted

      Thanks Charles. Yes I'm feeling pretty good about myself - little bit surprised at the fact I'm really actually doing it this time, rather than just wishing I would and berating myself for not. Also pleasantly surprised that life hasn't turned into some boring one-dimensional thing - it's actually got better. Which makes it easier to get through the cravings of course - I can still be hedonistic AND sober, it's just different. But that's not to say the cravings aren't still horrible and seductive when they hit me and I need (for now at least) to avoid any complacency!
  • Posted

    Hi Peter, you are doing an absolutely stupendous job of being sober...

    It is an amazing feeling.....I was an hopeless alcoholic for many years, I almost killed myself,, and it was agonizing for my family....I have now been sober for twelve years, and I know longer loathe myself....you will do it Peter, I truly wish you good health and happiness, ...and face your future with hope, sincere regards to you, DEIRDRE xxx

    • Posted

      Wov Deidre! 12 yrs and no booze is BRILLIANT! That is why this forum is great and people can take advice from you who have so much experience. Well done and keep that good advice coming to newcomers..    smile

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