90 years old grandmother should get hip replacement or not...
Posted , 10 users are following.
My 90 years old grandmother lives in China. She broke her hip about than 2 month ago. After she initially fell my uncles who lives in China (but not with her) thought she simply sprained her leg, so she was just bedridden for an entire month. My sister who lives the states went to visit her a month ago and discovered that she still bedridden and was in a lot of pain and decided to take her to the hospital for a checkup. It was discovered that she broke her hip (Intracapsular Fracture, the ball of the femur is broken). So due to negligence from my uncles she was left untreated for over a month. For the past month my sister and I have been trying to convince our grandmother to do a partial hip replacement.
She just did a physical and her organs are all in good shape and healthy, and deemed quite fit for hip replacement surgery. However, she is extremely afraid of the surgery and was reluctant to participate. In addition, one of the uncles refuse to let her do surgery because he believes that she’ll heal somehow and be able to sit again, and that the after effects of the surgery is not something he wants to deal with (if things go wrong). However I managed to convince her to do the surgery if I go back (I live in Canada) to see her through the surgery and early stages of recovery.
My grandmother has osteoporosis a bad knee and this newly broken hip. Before she broke her hip she could walk with assistance by using a walker or holding the wall, but not for long. For example she could go to the bathroom by herself or went to the shelf to get something. For majority of the day she alternates between sitting and laying down (probably about 50/50). Today she is mostly bedridden, she probably cannot sit for more than 1 hour before pain becomes unbearable. So she only sits up for her meals.
My thinking is that even if she somehow manages to sit up, it’s still gonna take her another few month bed ridden until she can sit upright, whereas after surgery she can sit up in days. I don’t have much hope for her to walk again but I figured sitting sooner has to be better for her health because I’ve confirmed with multiple doctors that bedridden increases your chances of having organ failure significantly. So if she does the surgery and successful recovery, her chances of living another few more years increases significantly.
Based on what I described do you think she should get the replacement? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
0 likes, 22 replies
renee01952 Nahh
Posted
Dear Naah,
that is a tough decision to make for someone else ... what does she want? and what would be the alternative - Is she in pain now ?
I don't have any advice but going with your intuition how she feels about it ..
sending you light and love
big warm hug
renee
Nahh renee01952
Posted
She doesn't want to do the surgery. Currently she can sit for short periods of time before the pain becomes too much for her. Assuming the pain lessens over time without surgery she will be in wheelchair for the remainder of her life.
She is still in pain but she says it's better than before. Doctor also confirmed her pain will lessen over time with out surgery but wont completely be without pain, but her legs will eventually become useless due to lack of activity.
I feel that the important thing is that the family have to be supportive of her recovery and she has to be willing to go through the recovery process. I feel that she is not very keen on this and not all family members are supportive of her surgery.
I do want to emphasize that other than bone her healthy is very good.
kate32837 Nahh
Posted
Difficult to advise you, but if it were me, whatever life she has left- let it be with 'thank goodness we acted' instead of 'wish we'd done more'.
Life is is a gambol, sometimes you just have to weigh it up and decide is it worth it.
Good luck x
Nahh
Posted
We've decided to not proceed with the surgery. Here are my thoughts and hopefully we've made the right decision.
The doctor told the biggest benefit she would get from the surgery is return to her state before she fell, which was walking some assistance. Provided that she was already laying in bed for over 2 month it would take quite a bit of rehab to get her to walk again, and there also could exist the possibility that she would not walk again. She needs a strong will and proper care and excerise routine to assist her recovery.
On the other hand, if she doesn't do surgery, a false joint will form, eliminating a portion of the pain but not all, and she will eventually be able to sit. But her legs will eventually become useless and degenerate due to lack on inactivity, and she'll never be able to stand again. But she is in good health, so her chances of living a few more years is pretty good.
In summary, if she does surgery she has a chance of walking again provided she has a proper recovery. If she doesn't she'll still be able to sit but never walk again.
So here are my thoughts. My grandmother was not willing and afriad to the do the surgery in the first place, and not all family members were supportive of it. In addition I didn't believe the uncles that were close to her were willing to support her rehab post surgery, and even if they hired a person to help her recovery, grandma is not mentally capable of going through the rehab without proper family care. If she can't walk either way not doing the surgery is a slightly worse option but not significantly wrose.
In the end we explained the two scenarios to grandma asked her to make the final decision. She chose to not do it. So we settled at that.
I hope we made the right decision. What do you think?
linda38528 Nahh
Posted
Hi Naah,
I said before that this would be a tough decision to make.
Your reasoning seems very sensible to me and , if it helps, I likely would have reached the same decision with those circumstances - support and mental determination and ability are key factors in full recovery from this operation and it is a tough journey as I can attest to.
It is tough to come to this conclusion - everyone wants to do the best for those we love. In this case, I believe you are respecting that and your grandmother's wishes.
I truly wish that the last year's of life could be easier and better quality of life for each of us, but having supported three parents (incl in laws) and several grandparents through end of life,- it just doesn't happen that way.
I applaud your efforts and determination to do the best for your grandmother and there cannot be any doubt in her mind about your love for her. That is a beautiful gift to give her (and yourself).
Please be at peace with your decision.
With a big hug for a good person.
L
ptolemy Nahh
Posted
These decisions are so difficult to make, in my father's case the whole family were behind him. At the end of the day it is your grandmother's decision that is most important.
louise2602 Nahh
Posted