1. Community
  2. Brain and nerves
  3. Dihydrocodeine

Addicted/reliant to dihydracodiene/diazepam

Posted , 9 users are following.

vjburke83
vjburke83

I have been addicted or as others prefer completely self reliant on pain killers. I've had in double figures lots of surgery, two of which where major and landed me in intensive care, just painting a picture to illustrate why I started taking pain killers. I started on tramidol and took 2 x 4 times a day and swapped to dihydrocodeine 30mg at 2 x 4 times a day with 2 500mg paracetamol at each dose, I recently started to take diazepam to help with depression and to relax me, I'm now reliant on these to make me sleep.

It has been 7-8 years and it has ruined my life, I am now 31 with a 2 year old (my pregnancy was the only time I came off but I took tramidol for 2 months of my pregnancy when I didn't know I was pregnant, he was born poorly and the gp has confirmed it was highly likely he was on a come down)and he really is the only thing keeping me going, I have had thoughts that I no longer want to live but id never take my life because of my son, but thinking it is just as painful. I get hot & cold sweats all the time because my body is craving something stronger, it's only self strength that has stopped me taking more, I am constantly angry, irritable, irrational and nasty towards close ones, I cannot control my behaviour it's the strangest thing but I feel utterly useless. My mental state is complete paranoia, I hate myself, I think other hate me, I think people are constantly having a go at me and I simply cannot stop the paranoia, not to mention I get the shakes all the time and feel sick, I feel like my stomach is full all the time and obviously this drug comes with constipation, I must go once a week and that's a good week! I can not sit and relax I'm always on the go because I can't just sit down, yet I can't be bothered to do anything, I had lost all interest in anything, I don't go out and I don't do anything, this was never me I have changed completely, I don't know who I am anymore!

I saw the doctor 3 weeks ago and started a reduction, I am finishing this especially difficult, I started a new job 5 weeks ago and paranoia has already kicked in! I get the shakes at work and I'm trying to hide all my symptoms, this is very difficult as I am a secretary to 3 directors I have a very busy precise role everything I do needs to be accurate and I simply cannot concerntrate. I find every day a battle with my physical and mental state, last night I couldn't get a film to work on iTunes and I burst out into tears and had a complete meltdown, it felt childish after, luckily I have a great friend who happened to text and I thought il just tell her what happened and she called me, I cried and let it out and felt better.

My reason for posting this is because I need help and advice my relationship is suffering and my life feels a million miles away from what it should be. I am however very good at disguising my problems to others, my friends/family where shocked when I wrote to them all to explain, the gp advised it would be good to tell your close friends and family to gain the support, some simply so not understand and thing I'm being ridiculous like it's just paracetamol and I can't stop taking it!

I want to come off for myself but most of all my partner as he is suffering the most, my son is the only one I hide my true self he sees me as "big momma" and I will never take my emotions out on him, so why can't i do that for my partner??? I suppose those closest to you take the hit!

If anyone has a similar story or support I would be most grateful x

6 likes, 32 replies

32 Replies

Prev Next
  • robbie1967
    robbie1967 vjburke83

    Posted

    hi,i am i the exact situation as you but i am now taking 18 per day 6 every 5hrs,my life is slowly falling to pieces around me and dont know were to turn....i have done cold turkey in the past but its not nice believe me.....i have been taking them for 2yrs and i only reason i continue is so i dont get that horrible emotional feeling that turns up when you stop....its a nightmare!! suppose i am going to have to seek help soon because my life is more important than this crap....i to used to have a life very active but now i just cant be bovd!! problem is a cant seem to find anyone to help so i just keep overdosing god only knows what there doing to my insides ;-( good look to you sweetheart! robbie.xx
    • vjburke83
      vjburke83 robbie1967

      Posted

      Hi Robbie

      I'm really sorry you have no support, I feel that I have a strong partner who I'm lucky is still with me as this drug has changed me into s horrible human being. I'm Ashamed of my behaviour and embarrassed of myself all the time. I don't feel I can't get much lower, but when I hear others stories I'm really not that bad, the addiction is as equal for everyone, the withdrawal and side effects yet everyone struggles with different mental issues with it, I feel the whole world is against me, it's a Terrible way to feel, I've considered giving up my reduction just to stop the moods as it is ruining my chance at a new Job but like my partner says if I stop now I'll only have to start it again and go through it all again....the thought is terrifying, I'm

      Only on stage 2 of my reduction when I should be at 6 but I can't face it just yet.

      You so need to seek help from you'd gp, I called up and said to the receptionist that I wanted to see a gp whom specialises in drug addiction and I got a 2 appointment slot and I did see the right person but it's taken me a long time to do this, maybe you could try that and keep going back for regular check ups In line with a reduction plan then just message on here throughout esp before and after an appointment?

      Good luck and thank you x

    • john56878
      john56878 robbie1967

      Posted

      Robbie you wont find anyone to help you mate.. you have got to help yourself.

      Shock tactics helped me ! .. see if you can find the Micheal Jackson autopsy documentary.. it scared the S##T out of me and you realise that we only get ONE life .. you can do it if I can, honest !

      I wake up every morning with that awful feeling.. the anxiety, the crushing feeling in your ribcage.. the feeling like you are old and infirm, clunking round the kitchen first thing on a morning making a cuppa and thinking about taking the Dihydrocodeine to sort your head out, but you are doing yourself no favours.

      I would never go cold turkey, it will mess you up.. the body shock is too dangerous.

      If you take 6 tablets three times a day, just take 5 in the first lot.. then the usual 6 and 6.. do that for a fortnight.

      Then take 5 and 5 then 6 for a fortnight..

      Then take 4 and 5 then 6 .. and so on etc..

      I would do it like that .. but keep the 6 for bedtime, then when you get down to 3 and 3 on daytime, go to 5 at bedtime.. or whatever way suits you.. but you do adjust after a day or two and it wont kill you.

      A tapering cycle is the best way to do it, BUT you must be consistent and stick to it.

      If you really want to get off them and you want your life back.. just go for it, whats the worst that can happen ?

      Good luck Robbie, you can do it..

    • robbie1967
      robbie1967 john56878

      Posted

      yeh i have been on a weaning course before ad it worked ok but the emotional side would not go from me so i just went on them again,i used codiene phosphate once and just stopped the dihyrocodeine dead and took the phosphate for 3wks ad then i was fine....nowt for 3wks and felt like my old self but then my back went again and i was put on them again and now i am in a world of sh*t!!....i think i am going to do it that way again and see if i can beat this coz a want me life back.....cheers bud...robbie.
  • vjburke83
    vjburke83

    Posted

    Hi everyone

    Today's my gp appointment I feel hopefully for more support and I am currently feeling sick to my stomach about going into work, I think I have decided to give up my

    Job and maybe do something part time at least whilst I sort myself out, I'm so unwell coming off these tablets.

    I read the Michael Jackson autopsy and it is a shock, I think sometimes we don't think about the harsh reality of what these drugs are doing to our organs!

    Ann thank you for your supporting words for everyone, it's good to have someone and all of you to help x I hope today is a good day for you all x

  • vjburke83
    vjburke83

    Posted

    Hi all

    After my apt last week it was decided to stay on the current dosage I'd got to for an additional 4 weeks, anyway I was having a good week after the apt and decided I'd give it a go of cutting down, so Saturday that's what I did, today I passed out?? I feel really dizzy and it's worse when my eyes are closed it makes me feel sick?

    Anyway I passed out and my other half just stood over me, didn't even help me up or care for me at all, it's made me feel incredibly hurt, I feel like he just doesn't care?!

    I hope your all doing ok it's a hard time coming off this drug! X

  • maria62058
    maria62058 vjburke83

    Posted

    I am 40 years old have been taking Dihydrocodeine, diazepam, quetiapine, sertraline and a host of other drugs. I am a civil servant (manager) although not for long. I am currently taking steps for I'll health retirement at 40! What a cruel joke. However I can no longer hold down this job after 16 years.

    I have been taking Dihydrocodeine for 15 years and like others, it has destroyed my life. The other drugs I'm on are all addictive but Dihydrocodeine is the worst.

    At the moment I am into my first day of cold turkey oh wow do I feel poorly. I currently have 3 blankets on me and my teeth are still chattering. My blood feels like ice water!

    The pain is atrocious. I want to get in the shower but I know the water will hurt my skin. This is my second attempt by the way so I know what to expect. My problem is that the pain is just too much. I'm allergic to all anti inflammatory s so I can't take those but like others before me I feel trapped in the endless cycle of addiction as well as being ashamed.

    Hope your all well

    Xxxxx

    • gary56171
      gary56171 maria62058

      Posted

      I wish you well ,a successful withdrawal and recovery Godbless
    • vjburke83
      vjburke83 maria62058

      Posted

      Hi Maria

      How are you getting on? Sorry I haven't replied sooner, I'm struggling myself at this time with my full time job and my reduction plan.

      My gp says going cold turkey is one of the worst things you can do, due to the shear shock that your body will go through when you deprive it of what if "needs" at this point in time.

      I'm not on as many pain killers as yourself but I think the addiction is the same mental feeling and the withdrawals are the same. I'm am on reduction phase 3 which isn't a lot but by day three my body is screaming in pain and it takes so much for me to continue, I do have extremely strong will power, well I have in the past, and I really am determined to beat this, however you do need to listen to your body sometimes as I haven't been ready at points for the next reduction hence why I'm only on stage three after 6 weeks.

      Have you seen your GP? I hope you well x

    • maria62058
      maria62058 vjburke83

      Posted

      Thank you for your reply's. I am extremely touched.

      You were right about going cold turkey. I was extremely ill my mother rang the doctor who advised like yourself not to do it. So he gave me another prescription and increased the dosage can you believe it! He rang me and I had a telephone conference with him, he said that I had to decide what was better for me. Which was to live in pain. Go through a methadone withdrawal or stay on the tablets.

      The reason I was put on Dihydrocodeine was I damaged my cocxis, which affects my back. I also have arthritis. I am currently on 12 tablets per day.

      I am going to try and taper down the tablets to as much as I can. I will not even entertain a methadone prescription, although he did say it would only be a couple of months although I know that it is also addictive. So now I feel back at square one.

      Thank you both for your comments it means a lot at a very difficult time

      Xxxxc

    • maria62058
      maria62058 vjburke83

      Posted

      I also want to wish you all well with your various stages of recovery. You are all really strong and determined which are wonderful qualities to have.

      I have a feeling you will get there Mrs Burke you seem to have the right attitude towards recovery. I know you will get to stage six but when your ready.

      Take care xxx

    • robbie1967
      robbie1967 maria62058

      Posted

      same old story with me they put you back on the nightmare stuff.....shame they didnt have the balls to tell us what it was going to do to us,well my doc didnt,i am still taking double what i am meant to per day and god only knows what they do to my insides.....i am think seriously about seeing a lawyer for advice on taking action against the practice who have ruined my life!!!!!!!!
    • maria62058
      maria62058 robbie1967

      Posted

      I can't agree with you more. I have actually reduced my Dihydrocodeine use to 10 per day these are the 60 mg tablets by the way. I tried to go cold turkey as you can see but it was a bad idea. I have discussions probably every 3 months with my doctor when I have to. You are left on these tablets and there is no regulation. In effect my doctor is overdosing me which he admits to but I've built up such a tolerance to them. I am in a lot of pain and as above he has discussed other methods of pain relief but I'm not going down that road. There should be more support for this addiction but these tablets are handed out like sweets. If you do take action please let me know how you get on I would be very interested to hear. Xx
    • vjburke83
      vjburke83 maria62058

      Posted

      Hi Maria

      How are you getting on?

      I can't believe the gp prescribed you a higher dose!!! That's appalling, your right they just hand them out too easily because they sent the ones dealing with the withdrawal affects it comes with, until you go through it no one can understand, my best friend read up All about it and couldn't quite believe the severity of my situation and she has apologised for bring naive to it, it wasn't her fault, but now she is a real support and rock for me, I think that prolog around you need to understand it better, so many people have no idea and just think it's ridiculous, I've lost 2 friends over it because they think I'm being melodramatic and that's not the support I need in my life, for once I'm being selfish and this year is about Me getting my life back!

      So far my reduction is going well, I'll reduce again on Saturday, however the first 2 months have been some of the worst in my life but it's starting to get a fraction easier each time x

      Stay strong Maria and try to focus on the end of it and how proud you will feel when you are rid of it, my goal is wanting a baby and whilst I'm on this I can't because the baby would more then likely have brain damage, now when I heard this it made me do determined to get off them xxx

      Good luck xxxx

    • maria62058
      maria62058 vjburke83

      Posted

      Thanks Mrs Burke. I've been meaning to ask what is this phase reduction programme because my doctor has not even mentioned this to me he just increased the dose. I didn't ask him he just said I had built up a tolorance and needed a higher dose and I was likely feeling depressed and irrational due to my pain. Xx
Back to top
Prev Next

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.