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Advice pls

Posted , 6 users are following.

Ashamed30829
Ashamed30829

Ok please give me your thoughts 

I am a 47 year old Male and sex drive has gone down over the years weight has gone up and most of the other things  associated with the menopause has happened including a feeling of self confidence 

 I have somehow managed to hide this from my wife for the last 2 1/2 years recently came to light in the bedroom not manage anything at all came out she was angry that I liked her for such a long time which I can understand I explain to her it was hard and frightening for me to try and come to explain this as I don’t feel like a man any more as you ladies have been thought this or are going through this can you please give me some advise as she now saying devorice and I do truly love her she thinks it is a reflection on how I am sexually attracted to her I have told her repeatedly in all the size and shapes she says she has been I have truly never seen anything but her and have always wanted her At all times I am going to  Sexual psychotherapy and to an endocrinologist to get testosterone replacement therapy

Many thanks for any help and advice 

0 likes, 21 replies

21 Replies

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  • Ashamed30829
    Ashamed30829

    Posted

    Thanks you all for your kind words I have to take ownership of what I have done that’s a given ,my wife hopefully will understand , but now she is moving out for six months so it’s no so good I will try and get her back it’s a time to see how she feels about us unfortunately I always think the brakes or time apart are just a way of getting one foot out the door I hope I am wrong as 20 years with her I loved it all ups and downs everything thing. 

    I think you have to treasure all memories good or bad because with out the bad ones the good ones have no meaning 

    • lynda20916
      lynda20916 Ashamed30829

      Posted

      It's sad that your wife is moving out. Please forgive me, but I suspect that she may be using your "deception" as an excuse.  

      You know, lots of the women on this site, including me, have done similar things, trying to be "normal" for the sake of our families, and not to burden our husbands with what we're going through.  You have committed no sin, so hold your head up.  

      You sound like a very nice person, and a good man.  You deserve better in a spouse.  Someone who would throw 20 years away--well, I don't know her, but it's a shame.  Best of luck to you. xx  

    • kelly55079
      kelly55079 Ashamed30829

      Posted

      Time apart can be good too..  But just remember to be good to yourself whichever way it may go.   Best of luck!!    There is a marriage site that may also help--talkaboutmarriage at the dot com.

  • mee16031
    mee16031 Ashamed30829

    Posted

    Hey get on the fitness band wagon I assure you tour libido will skyrocket, I've been thru this. Am 50 and with a 35 year old man, Till last year my libido was excellent but then menopause set in and all of a sudden pooff it was gone. I was so upset and like you said I looked at every young 30 year old with beautiful bodies and young skin and hair and thought this is so wrong he should be with them, I'm so old, its unfair to him. I knew he will leave me. But then I got into fitness seriously because he is a fitness instructor. Now my libido has picked up I feel at least 50 percent better.

  • Mach10
    Mach10 Ashamed30829

    Posted

    In reading all the postings that you have received on your issues , I thought it is time for you to get some input from a mans point of view . First of all , you have definitely recognized your need to get things done to fix your male menopausal issues . I have noticed that you keep saying that your wife needs to understand what you are going threw - actually she does not , you should be moving forward with changes in your life 

    to show her you got it together to be a loving active husband . Your male menopause has hit you pretty early in your life , mine came on me at around 60 and I experience some of the same things you have stated but I did have a good Dr that after some blood work determined that I was very low on testosterone.. He prescribed biweekly injections and it changed my life - I became  more active - started exercising -  loosing weight and falling back in love with my wife . I am now 76 years old and celebrating my 56 year of marriage . My wife at 75 and is also on pellet treatment that keeps her feeling great keeping her testosterone level up where is needed . 

    You need to make sure your testosterone treatment is getting to the right levels - a man should be running 800 to 1000..  Btw I am still on testosterone treatment on a monthly basis and still doing great 

    I say all this to tell you like the poster Mee16031 is stating -get your weight down and start exercising 

    Show your wife that you are making changes that you are the love of her life that she once knew . 

     

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