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Advise please :-(

Posted , 6 users are following.

Jess45638
Jess45638

I was diagnosed with panic disorder when I was 23. I went on

citalopram and xanax for the actually attacks. It got better over the years and last year I was off everything with no panic attacks for over 12months.

Unfortunately this year it's bubbled up again. I'm back on meds and struggle with this disorder AGAIN. It's like I'm gone back 5 years.I'm really getting sick of feeling anxious all the time, feeling scared and feeling like I'm losing control. I run, I do yoga, I go to therapy, I meditate and some times it doesn't even touch the sides off my anxiety.

The attacks present themselves in many forms -burning sensation all over my body, a sickly feeling in my stomach, palpitations, tingling in my hands and feet, choking, tunnel vision and night terrors. The list goes on.

I went to see a psychiatrist who was not helpful. He basically told me that I had 'mild' anxiety. He felt so angry that he could determine my mental state in less then 20mins . Needles to say i bet that he has never actually have a panic attack.

I felt completely rejected and alone because I've been through hell with his disorder it's ruining my life and for someone to tell me I'm.not that bad was just horrible.

When I'm having a panic attack I fear for my life and I'm afraid one day I'll do something silly and impulsive . When I was younger the attacks presented themselves completely different to they are now. I'd get a little indication I was getting one but now they hit me hard it's actually like I'm being attacked. After an attack it leaves me depressed for days, worrying about my next one, over sensitive to every pain and twinge worrying there is something seriously wrong with me. Then there is the involutray twitching that is constant and driving me insane.

Sometimes I'm actually afraid to take a xanax incase of what I don't know?? All sounds crazy I know.

I dont sleep as sometimes I fear of attacks at night which have happened before so I walk around like a zombie at work which makes me more anxious.

Anyway I've joined this forum to seek more support I have a very understanding husband but I know I'm hard to deal with so I feel it's unfair on him.I feel like I've explored every option and done as much as I can I'm hoping advise from you guys will help :-) x

Trish

0 likes, 21 replies

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  • gino78308
    gino78308 Jess45638

    Posted

    Hi Trish wow you must have been reading my mind when you wrote all that down having said that I am coming of xanax after a long long time on them I don't no what is worse the anxiety panic attacks ore xanax it completely took over my life but as you no it's all about control do you control the panic attacks ore do they control you I found it helped me to label it and then say ok that's one less I have to deal with bring on the next one in stead of fighting them I invited them in more funny enough I still get them but now I can control them instead of them control me does this make any sense to you 

    • Jess45638
      Jess45638 gino78308

      Posted

      Hi Gino

      Thanks for the reply. I know sometimes I read people's chats and can't believe some of the content because it's so accurate in relation to some of my issues lol

      That's amazing that your coming off xanax, do you mind me asking how often your were taking them? I take mine very sparingly as I'm afraid one day they just won't work. Silly I know 🙁

      I like the idea of saying to myself 'that's one less I don't have to deal with' you sound like your changing your relationship with the attacks. I use to sometimes just tell that niggling voice in my head to 'F OFF' lol and make a laugh out of it but it all depends on the day I'm having.

      Trish

    • gino78308
      gino78308 Jess45638

      Posted

      Hi Trish I was taking 5 -1mg tables a day I am now on .05mg a day I was on them for 25 years i have been coming of slowly it took me 3 mths to get too this level I have to tell you it's been hell 

  • david76205
    david76205 Jess45638

    Posted

    Psychiatrists push meds. They get kick backs from drug vendors to push certain meds. They don't even listen to your problems anymore. You need a separate therapist for that these days. I am very disappointed with therapists and how lousy they have become. I too have had reoccurrence after 8 years symptom free. Getting back on meds and regulating them is tough at first but it gets easier as time goes on. I take 10mg lexapro and . 05 mg of xanex to help me. Everything seems to be on track and my attacks are gone so far. Just hang in there and let the meds do their job. But I am right there with you. 

    • trudy63745
      trudy63745 david76205

      Posted

      Hi i got severe anxiety after 11 years good. Ive had it for a month ive been on zoloft for 3 and a half weeks. Feel good moments every now and again. But still very anxious. Scared im going to be anxious forever. How long does it takes meds to fully work? Will i get my life back???
    • david76205
      david76205 trudy63745

      Posted

      Depends on what meds. Some take 4 to 6 weeks to build up in the body and do their job. Others can work as soon as 2 to 3 weeks. You may want to supplement your dose with a xanex, adavan or kalonipin until the anxiety meds start doing its job. 
    • trudy63745
      trudy63745 david76205

      Posted

      Thanks david for your reply. I take oxaxepam in the morning and night i have for 5 years. Very small dose never take more. The doc has given me valium too but i dont know if i want to take another drug.
    • david76205
      david76205 trudy63745

      Posted

      I hear you. The .05 mg of xanex I take is not going to hurt you. I have never tried Valium but the xanex is wonderful, much better than kalonipin. I am fully functional and awake. No side affects. I am at the beginning stages of reintroducing my body to lexepro and the med recipe I take is really working wonders. I was a mess 3 weeks ago. I am so thankful that I got help when I did and I feel so much better. All I am saying is to talk to your doctor and maybe there is an alternate med you could take or supplement your current dose to take the edge off better. It's your choice but no need to be uncomfortable with so many options on the market these days. 

    • trudy63745
      trudy63745 david76205

      Posted

      Do you think cause ive had some improvements that in couple weeks it will get better. I was fine 5 weeks ago and scared im never going to get my life back
    • david76205
      david76205 trudy63745

      Posted

      Yes, once your body adjusts. Only you can gauge what's normal for you. But just like the tradition time it takes for the initial dose to start working, increased doses take awhile to take affect and your body to adjust. If you are not feeling better in a couple of weeks (depending on how bad it is) you may want to go back to doctor and get a dose change or perhaps a med change. If it gets unbearable between now and then, don't wait, get help asap. You risk losing all the good it's accomplished so far by setting you back. Be vigilant and aware of how you feel. Keep a daily log if necessary. Communication with the doctor and the log you write may help him make a better decision on how best to treat you. 

    • trudy63745
      trudy63745 david76205

      Posted

      So i really wont have to live with this severe anxiety forever? Its my fear atm that its going to make me go crazy i know that sounds stupid
    • david76205
      david76205 trudy63745

      Posted

      Trudy, my therapist told me everyone has anxiety. Just different levels. Picture filling a ballon with air (in this case your worries) and the balloon eventually becomes over inflated and becomes very hard (where we are) and if you keep filling it... what happens ? It pops. We are at the breaking point and the meds we take slowly let the air out of the balloon. It's a long process  but we grow stronger doing it. And we can help others too. 

    • trudy63745
      trudy63745 david76205

      Posted

      Hey that was a great way of explaining it with the balloon. Sorry if im annoying with all the questions its just so hard going through it when you just want to feel like yourself again. I have a holiday booked for after xmas and im so scared i wont be able to go but my doctors have said i will definitely be feeling better by then. What do you think?
    • david76205
      david76205 trudy63745

      Posted

      I agree with your doctor. A lot of time between now and then. I am getting married in march so when I was having the attacks that was definitely on my mind as well. I feel better today and feel like I am improving everyday. I am going to stay away from dose increases or change anything unless I absolutely need to. I think you will be fine just keep with the program. Vacation will be good for you. Continue to see therapist and unload your worries. Continue writing and consider keeping log on how you feel daily. You will see in time you will and can be your old self again. 
    • trudy63745
      trudy63745 david76205

      Posted

      Hey thanks so much you really are easing my mind. I guess i have to look at the fact 3 weeks ago i was crying all day every day throwing up couldnt eat couldnt sleep at all. Couldnt drive. Im eating now i sleep better i do some driving. So obviously i have gotton better. I think its just i want to feel 100% back to myself. Which obviously doesnt happen overnight.
    • Jess45638
      Jess45638 david76205

      Posted

      Hi David

      Thanks for the reply. I find the doctors here in the UK are rubbish. I had to go back to where I was from to initially get diagnosed. They kept on sending me for blood test here to show me the positive results 'see your fine ' not helpful for someone that thinks she's going insane.

      Wow 8 years well done!

      It must of been bliss 🤗 do you find your able to cope better with the symptoms this time round?

      I use to be on lexapro at the start but they changed it to citalopram. To be honest I wish I wasnt on anything 🙁 I've no choice.

      Thanks again :-)

    • david76205
      david76205 Jess45638

      Posted

      We all wish we were not on anything. Nothing more annoying then having to call the doctors office and get refills and then trips to the pharmacy. Another chore to add to an already expanding list of responsibilities. I don't want to be on meds but the alternative is worse, so I do what I have to, to get better. I have people who depend on me, so me being curled up in a corner crying is demeaning. So I did ale my meds and function like a normal person for the time being. Who knows what the future holds and if I will be on meds for rest of my life. Small price to pay if you think about it. 

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