Advise re prostrate cancer treatment for my dad...

I attended an appointment with my dad today and his oncologist to discuss options, he was offered Robotic assisted radical prostatectomy or radio therapy with hormone therapy, he has opted for the latter as he doesn't want to risk the side effects of surgery. He is on 6 months of Anti Androgen- Bicalutimide as of today, after 3 months he will have 37x sessions of intensity modulated radio therapy which is a more precise, targeted radiotherapy for just over 7 weeks. My dad is fit for his age and excercises reguarly. Fingers crossed that he won't suffer too many side effects and will recover. Hope the hormone treatment is okay for you, let me know how you progress. I wish you well, illness make you a medical expert !!!!!! Important for my dad to enjoy life and not become 'a patient'.

To Dealwithit yes I am from good old England. We're a little conservative in our approach to life. My dad has never used a computor in his life but I show him these posts. Knowledge is great from internet and texts books, but personal experience and chatting to like minds is so much better.

Thanks to Dudley, Carl, Norma & elementalist (intersting psuedonym as is glamour !!)

Every good wish to you all......I will be back

Hello WFMD,

In my idling mind I have now happily amended the connotation of  your acronym: WFMD past the unfortunate G'dubbya's Weapons For Mass Destruction,  through Woman For Medical Determination back to the simple, beautiful and touching Worried For My Dad.

I am pleased for Him that he has now overcome what many of us find to be the hardest part of PC management.  And that is deciding upon which path of treatment options to follow.

I can well relate to Glamour's Urologists' observation about aetiological loss of sexual function. Mine,  after similarly commenting that he was trying to save my life - said to me almost amusedly ' Oh,  don't worry about that,  untreated the Cancer will take care of that for you !  ( it had already begun to,  which is predominantly why I was there ).  

[ I had presented with: Gleason 7 ( 4+3 ), PSA 10, T2b and gland 50% indurate and mis-shapen,  poor stream and impaired SF ].

The reason I mention this is because now,  some 14 months after starting treatment of 42x IMRT my PSA is 1.8 and my gland is smooth. The mis-sharpen aspect indicates that although it did not show up on MRI or bone-scan,  the PC has escaped the capsule.  Hence the 42 which whacked both  the tumour and the seminal vesicles.

Everyone's experience with PC and treatment is individually unique,  so it would not do to prime your Father with what side-effects to expect from RT although I think it is only realistic to assume there will be one/two or more. ( I think there are 7 most commonly listed,  of which I sustained 4.  2 transient and  2 permanent.  From memory I think My Good Friend georgeGG hereon also sustained the same 4.  His collective Posts map in depth his experiences through the whole two months of his treatment and the paramaters of his subsequent recovery ).  [ I went out motorcycling and was not so diligent ].

So all in all,  there is plenty of potential support and encouragement on this Site available for your Dad and occasionally delving into it on his behalf should see you well-equipped to assist his recovery.

Wishing you both all the very best and enduring peace of mind.

With Kind Regards

Dudley

Hi Worriedformydad,I just like to add to your post.

You say your dad has chosen to have hormone therapy&radiotherapy 

my husband has been on the hormone treatment now for a month,I know we're all different but I'll just let you know how he feels. For the first two weeks he felt tired,weak ,and lethargic,but like your dad he was fit and walked every day,so he also felt a bit of self pity.Now if you go from walking 5miles a day to 2 miles a day you can understand why he thought he would never be well again,but his oncologist told me to keep pushing him into his normal routine.   Now another two weeks on and he's almost back to normal,he just gets a little tired quicker,but he won't let it beat him now.

hes also had one hormone injection,so all in all he's doing alright.

He just had a bad start,but fingers crossed were now on the right road.

I'll keep you updated,and I think your dad will be fine just keep pushing him into normal life.  Take care.

My dad has commenced the hormone therapy, tiredness is his only problem at the moment but he continues with his daily routine despite this. He is always positive, I am 'the worrier!!!!' but not in front of him.

He has an MRI scan on wednesday....last year he was diagnosed with polymyalgia which shares symptoms of bone cancer and can be misdiagnosed...so he has to be checked out...worrying. But he is well...  he spent all day in the garden on sunday, hes 80 in a few weeks and looks more than 10 years younger. I am trying to be positive but in my mind find the worst casescenarios creeping in....

Anyway hope your husband is doing ok...and all the others on this post I send my heartiest regards for your your health and happiness....

Hi,Try and be a bit more positive.If your Dad has a positive attitude believe me that's all he needs to get him through this. As for carrying out he's usual routine,that's good as well,my hubby's Oncologist said to push him into his routine as much as possible.My hubby was terribley tired in the beginning of his treatment,he was doseing off 3-4times a day,but now he's right back in his stride walking,doing jobs. I'm not saying he don't get tired but he may just have 1little nap in the day,some days none.

what I have noticed different in him is,he's never been the lovey dove you type of man,but he seems to get a little low sometimes and just needs a little cuddle and reassuring,because unlike your dad he's always had a negative attitude.  

But He's finished with the hormone tablets now,he's had one injection the second one is due next week,and we're still waiting for an appointment with the radiotherapy.  But in all honesty he's doing far better than I thought he would,so your dad with his positive attitude will be just fine.

You just support him and push him along.  You take care yourself as well.

Hello Norma,

I realise you are talking specifically to Miki ( WFMD ) here,  and that you mean well,  but please permit me to point out that the tenets of your Post can only be applicable within a certain range of morbidity;   beyond which a more realistic outlook is prudent and preparation for adversity is the more emotionally sound approach.

There is no question of Miki trying harder than she already has.  Positivity is  relative,  to both disease severity and the age of the patient.  

Her posts tell us,  that Miki is doing all that she can for her Dad and he has no idea that with her inside knowledge,  she is going through agonies of anxiety on his behalf.  She has taken his suffering upon herself.   In expressing her fears on this Site,  she is articulating them as far away from her immediate world as she can put them and it is the only place,  where she will permit the unquietable voice of an inevitable outcome to be heard.

The key word for her now is '. acceptance '.  The most effective therapy,  reciprocal love between Father and Daughter.

Best Regards

Dudley

 

Hello Dudley, I take it you do not approve of how I answered miki.

Well I would just like to reply to you with I gave her my oppinion on the same treatment my hubby has chose,and his progress so far.

You are entiltled to your oppinion to miki as well,but please do not insult my intelligence by trying to undermine me. Her father in my opinion has a wonderful attitude and I was just trying to tell her that is good.

Im no expert on Prostate Cancer,but I am an expert on terminal illness and without a positive attitude I would have been dead 10yrs ago.

The idea of this site is to try and support people who are suffering the same illness,all I can say to miki is how the treatment my hubby is Haveing is affecting him. 

Pehaps instead of reading a dictionary all day,you ought to learn some manners.  I'm truly offended.

I am sorry i have not been around to respond but we have been away for few days.The hormone therapy will probably give your father hot flushes.The best thing is to just laugh it off. In the last two  weeks of his radio therapy the intensity of the radiation is more focused. During this period the core pain in his lower reaches will be very uncomfortable. Expect that to ease about two weeks after the RT has been completed. your GP will offer excellent pain killers for this but your father must keep his bowels in good working order with plenty of fruit and lots of drinking water. NO ALCOHOL. After this period life returns and your father can gradually return to his normal life. During the RT treatment your father should restrict his exercise to casual walking and nothing more strenuous. This he must do for at least 4months after the RT is complete. I wish you and your father all good fortune. Keep strong.

Hope this helps

Hi Glamour,

Thanks for your information. It's useful to know what to expect. instead of worrying I can know what is normal and be more accepting Also to previous posts re Dudley & Norma I think both are valid to have hope but also to be able to accept adversity if the worse happens. I have found the positivity and ability to accept and carry on despite adversity uplifting you have all been in difficult journeys and I realise that at times like these we appreciate more. And it is a place here on this post where I can find real answers to my concerns.

I wish you all well and to add I'm sue not Miki . I think 'dealwithit' is miki.

All best and thank you ....

Hi Sue,I'm sorry about calling you by the wrong name.

Also as glamour said I forgot to mention the hot flushes,although my hubby hasn't had many of them. 

    

         So please just take each step at a time and enjoy being 

              together.   Take care.

Hello Norma,

Please do not take offence for a second longer because,  I assure you,  none was intended.

At the time, I was unaware that the observations in my Post had drifted onto the wrong site,  confusing WFMD ( Sue ) with Dealwithit ( Miki ) for whose circumstances,  they are more apposite.  Sorry Sue.

In considering your instruction to someone that they should  ' try harder to be positive '  ( about PC ) however, a parallel with instructing someone with depression to ' snap out of it ' appears.  I'm sure in both cases,  they would if they could.   In both my personal experience of PC and my vicarious experience of PC through other Patients and their loved ones,  realism has never been twinned with defeatism.

I hope you will feel reassured and comforted by my concern for your  equanimity.

With Kind Regards

Dudley

Hi Dudley and Norma,

As someone who has been immersed professionally in this issue for over forty years, I would like to weigh in on the relative merits of positivism vs realism vs pessimism.  We now know from extensive research in the area that pessimism releases chemicals in the body that attack our immune system causing a progressive breakdown of body functions.  Therefore, pessimism is to be avoided, if possible.  It simply isn't good for your health.  The Dalai Lama, a jovial fellow is noted to have said to a journalistic reporter when asked how he could be so upbeat and positive given the difficulties in his life........."I have to admit that I've tried pessimism and I've tried optimism and pessimism isn't as much fun."

There is a caveat to this position, however.  Positivism, while it releases endorphins and other reparative hormones can become disconnected from the realities of life, causing people to not do their research homework and either do nothing or wander off into unnecessary and harming treatments.  

Given the above, probably the best dynamic would range from a realistic assessment of the situation and appropriate action coupled with a positive, upbeat attitude regarding whatever course of action is adopted.

The only problem I have with so much of what transpires on this website is people opting for "curative" action or for that matter no action based on fear rather than evidence.  A tragic error, I believe.

My Best to Sue, Miki, and Dudley.  Carl

Hi Carl,

Thankyou for weighing in.  Yes,  I erred with the specificity of my remarks but less so I feel, with the generality of them.

There are inherent difficulties in the equation ' striving officiously to keep alive ' being kept in balance against both quality and longevity of life,  rigours of treatment and the expectations,  hopes and fears of relatives,  etal.  These inherent difficulties would appear to be exacerbated where,  an unrealistic appreciation of the determination of age as a significant factor in treatment modalities and outcomes,  applies.

With Kind Regards

Dudley

 

P. S.  My lamer efforts on this Site have somehow put me in mind of a sketch by one of Britain's University Graduate Comedy Teams which  I saw on T V :

It it is Wartime Britain.  Inside an office at an aerodrome, are two Senior

R A F  Officers.  The door opens and in comes a Flying Officer.  He comes to attention and salutes:

"Carruthers". ...  

"Yes Sir."

"The War is going badly ... "

"Sir!"

"We think it is time,  we made a gesture ... "

"Sir!!"

"We want you to take a kite and go over and bomb Germany ... "

"Sir!!!" 

"And don't come back ... "

 

                                  --ooOoo--

Or was it  ' I mentioned the War once,  but I think I got away with it ',  I am thinking of ?

Thank you Dudley,for what I will term as an apology,it seems like you thought I was talking to miki who is dealwithit,so maybe we both got a little mixed up.  I knew I was talking to WFMD, but I took your lead in calling her miki instead of Sue,so maybe we both got a little mixed up.

So no offence taken. I think that's easily done when people on these sites have 2names and there are a lot of replies to this thread.  One thing I won't change though and that in most situations Positive thinking sees you through.   All the best to you.

Thank you Carl,That post has greatly reassured me that we should always live in hope and positivety,I think i read that right.

Im a very positive person,I'm also a do'er. I don't sit back and wait I like to find out all I can. When it comes to our health,I don't think we can just sit back and go with the flow anymore,and I'm a good example of taking medical advise that's gone wrong for me. So now I tend to look into all I can and see more than one consultant,until I'm happy.  

My my hubby on the other hand just goes with the flow,and he's very negative,always "the what if" and I do truly believe if I was not a positive person I would have been dead twice 5-7yrs ago.

      So I just wish everyone on here all the best.

Thanks Norma,

I, too, am an optomistic type and do believe that it has managed to keep me alive for my almost 70 years......sometimes through rather difficult adversities.  And equally, I appreciate your being thorough and not just going with the flow of advice, whether from well wishers who wouldn't know to trained professionals who should, but too often don't.  My sadness for these threads is for the people who don't bother to take their health care into their own hands and learn.........only to discover too late that they have been compromised unnecessarily.  

My Best to You and Your Negative Hubby.  Sometimes with the people that I work with professionally who are negative I ask them to try to give "equal time to the other view.....positive."  Carl

Thanks Carl,like you ive only learned from mistakes done on my own health.

I think there was a time we could leave it to the proffestionals, but nowadays they don't seem to have the same values they had when I was younger.

So yes I do believe in taking your own health into your own hands.

Just wish I could get that through to my hubby,I can't say it hasn't caused a few arguments between us,but if I can change his outlook then I can cope with a few silences.Ha Ha.  All the best to you and keep pushing forward.

Hi Carl,

Its a good read and comforting also. Will remember it. Atm Im hoping the best and worst for my dad in his continuous treatment. As much as we (his children) want to fight or help him, but its down to him at the end. How frustrating!

Thank you. Miki