After effects from Robotic Radical Prostatectomy
Posted , 14 users are following.
I had a Robotic radical prostatectomy in August of 2012. Over time, there has been shrinkage especially when flacid. Orgasm without ejaculation is definitely different, but for some reason I have a mental picture of ejaculating even though I don't. There is some fluid which comes from the Cowper's gland. Sex for me is not the same but I think that is just my fault. I expect to much and therefore sex is pretty uneventful for me. Any similar experiences out there? Thanks.
1 like, 36 replies
mark_fastco pretensky
Edited
I I had my prostatectomy in 2016 and yes sex has not been the same of course and the uneventful orgasm has been replaced with hers. I have had to use injections to achieve an erection and sometimes I simply don't use them and concentrate instead on the charge I get from achieving her orgasm. it is an amazing thing when you forget about your own physical pleasure and just concentrate on hers it quickens my heartbeat and enhances my excitement in ways I would have never experienced have I not they just need to be with went through the removal of my prostate... just a thought
..
FratDude pretensky
Edited
This is why prostatectomy (or any other treatment) will be an absolute last resort for me. Were you even told what to expect in the way of genital shrinkage and dry orgasm? Many men are not told, or these life altering consequences are dismissed as minor "side effects." For most men, ejaculation is extremely important, and the vast majority of men want more, not less or no ejaculate. That's why there are all those products out there claiming to increase amount of ejaculate (most of which do not work). Same for genital size. I know you are not alone is the dissatisfaction you are experiencing, despite many in the medical community who obfuscate or minimize the significant impact these consequences can have for the vast majority of men. I, for one, view my genital size and ejaculate, and my current sexual abilities, as very important. I am not married and still have to date.
barney34567 FratDude
Edited
Before radical surgery it seems worldwide that most folk, me included are not told a thing about side effects and significant changes to sexual function. That said, in many cases surgery does a better job of ridding a body of the cancer, so in the end one has to consider the choice: less sex and less cancer or more sex with cancer not being treated as effectively as could be.
pretensky FratDude
Posted
Actually the urologist assistant at the time told me (in front of my wife) that I could still ejaculate after the surgery. When I researched the procedure, I realized her stupidity and wrote a lengthy letter and brought it in to the urologist and detailed what she had said and emphasized her incompetence. Shrinkage was never mentioned.
ES28567 pretensky
Edited
After extensive research, the posts expressed here are the main reasons I went with the HIFU procedure. i still have all my male functions, cancer is in check (or gone) and I have none of the bad side effects. if the cancer comes back, i still have other alternatives. men must be there own best
advocate. Don't take the urologist word/recommendation. Research and determine what procedure is best for you. Every man is different and each will have different results.
MikeTango pretensky
Edited
I had half my prostate (one lobe) ablated with HIFU in 2018 I too have suffered from reduction in girth and length of penis when flaccid. When erect it seems almost the same size. However gaining an erection takes a long time and maintaining it is shorter time
My libido is virtually non-existent, which worsens the problem. but this and my ED were prior conditions for me My ejeculate is about a tenth. of before. The pleasure is different and reduced.
But i have gained (I hope) longer lifespan albeit under testing and MRI checks.
Like others, this was not emphasised before treatment although I would still have proceeded with HIFU. The main question is how can we improve our situation. Any ideas greatly appreciated.
barney34567 MikeTango
Edited
ED issues are rarely if ever brought to a patient's attention before ANY treatment.
That said, if your life is lengthened without pain, then you did the right thing by being treated. The toss up for some is longer life but without quality of life.
MikeTango barney34567
Posted
I agree with barney34. Removing the cancer was the top priority for me too
Even if I had been more aware of the ED problems and loss of size and sexual capability, I would still have opted for HIFU as it offered less damage to nerves and less likelihood of incontinence and lower risk of affecting sexual performance I still have some ED problems but then I had ED problems before the HIFU so I would not advise against HIFU
I do not have the incontinence issues I might have had with prostate removal and there is still hope I can overcome the ED issues with lifestyle, exercise and ED medications.
I intend investigating the use of a pump. If anyone knows anything about pumps I would be grateful for details.
barney34567 MikeTango
Edited
Sorry for the late reply, but I had some family matters to sort out.
You ask about the pump.
I ordered one online after surgery and radiation.
It takes a LOT of dedication to use it say 5x a week.
I lost interest and dedication after 2 months.
As to ED improving....in my case all I can say is that it improved
AFTER my testsosterone improved, that is AFTER I stopped
treatment.
That said, even with half decent cialis assisted erections, dry orgasms is hard for anyone men and women to wrap their heads around.
pretensky barney34567
Edited
I agree. Dry orgasms are strange but women have always had "dry" orgasms (unless you believe porn sites). After being married 10 years or so with 2 kids, my wife and I decided to go to a sex therapist and one of the things I remember saying to the therapist was that I could not understand a female orgasm because there is no "release". Well, now I know what that feels like. I have learned over time to just enjoy the feeling and try to make that feeling last. But it can never compare to an actual ejaculation.
FratDude pretensky
Posted
Guys, thanks for sharing about the dry orgasms. I always thought this would be a major drawback. Doctors and stuff i read on prostate removal make it sound like this is no big deal, or even put a positive spin on it. But i think most men know intuitively that this is not a minor "side effect." Most dudes are trying to get more ejaculate, not less, and there are products on the market like Semenex which claim to increase the volume of ejaculate, which guys are buying up hoping that it is true.
MikeTango FratDude
Posted
it would be nice to know of any natural/herbal supplements or medicines that we can take to increase the volume of ejaculate to avoid or mitigate dry orgasms. I was told after my hifu procedure that half my prostate had been a belated, however I have lost 90% of my ejaculate along with ED problems. It has been 18 months since my hifu procedure and I fear I have not used my sexual capabilities and might lose it. This is perhaps more psychological on my part than physical. But my inability to gain and hold any reaction has caused anxiety on my part to initiate sexual relations with my wife.
barney34567 pretensky
Posted
Glad to hear you saw a sex therapist.
I have not needed one yet, but will see one when required.
Being open to all solutions is the key to staying healthy & sane.
joan23085 MikeTango
Posted
Others here seem pretty neutral/negative about use of the pump. This has not been our experience at all – for us the pump (with ring and Viagra) works really well.
Taking a step back, before my husband’s prostatectomy in March 2020, the surgeon was very clear about what would happen afterwards. He said “incontinence is more of a worry but impotence is more of a problem”. He was right; there was absolutely no incontinence at all, but there are only small signs of erections returning to date. We have had fun trying to encourage them! The surgeon had said return could take up to two years, so we are not there yet.
Others on this forum have asked what sex is like after prostatectomy. It’s certainly different – and for us actually in some ways improved. For example, multiple (dry) orgasms for my husband where there was only one before. Now that use of the pump has been mastered (which does take a little time, but honestly not long), I am delighted to find that my husband “lasts” much longer than he used to, enabling me to have multiple orgasms too.
My husband has now got into a routine of using the pump and Viagra twice a week, using a ring if we are having sex. Of course, completely spontaneous penetrative sex is not possible any more, but we are probably too old for that anyway (both in our 70’s). We like the comfort of our bed.
We were delighted, too, to find that pump, rings and Viagra are free on NHS prescription after a prostatectomy.
We would certainly recommend using a pump. It’s worked for us, and if erections do not return we will be more than happy to continue using it for a long time.
barney34567 joan23085
Posted
Hi, you mention that in regards to erections that
The surgeon had said return could take up to two years, so we are not there yet.
That is true.
It took me at least 2 years.
In my case I thought I would need meds for both a decent erection and to orgasm. It seems I need it only for a decent erection, not to orgasm, so do not expect the worst of all possibilities.
I suggest you give the condition time to settle down.
By all means use a pump if you feel it helps and are keen on it. In my case I oddly lost interest in using a pump after just a few weeks. Not sure if I was unmotivated or I thought it was of little benefit.