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Age doesnt give you the right to talk down

Posted , 23 users are following.

sarah1996
sarah1996

I am posting this as I am now fed up with the amount i have been talked down to and insulted on this site.

Just because Im 20 doesnt mean I do not know what im talking about, it also doesnt give members the right to insult me or treat me like a child.

Quite frankily I know feel like I cannot say something without being judged, this site is supposed to be helpful when in fact I am actually finding it a lot more upsetting.

4 likes, 58 replies

58 Replies

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  • mishelle46654
    mishelle46654 sarah1996

    Posted

    I know where you are coming from Sarah. I have had hip problems since I was 17, even at the age of 30, when people see me hobbling around on crutches everyday and I tell them I am waiting for a thr I do get a number of people laughing at me and stating I am 'too young' to have hip problems.

    When I talk to people about my issues they always seem shocked that I know so much. Yes people I can read and have indeed researched everything I can to try and help my condition! Age is relative, I feel old and broken in my state yet if I compare myself to others everything changes. Understanding that some people are ignorant to others situations and not allowing their small minds to affect you is the key wink

    Be strong young Padawan smile

    • sarah1996
      sarah1996 mishelle46654

      Posted

      Thankyou. Its incredibly ignorant isnt it. Iv had my condition since birth and been having surgery since the age if 1. Had about 12 or 13 now so I am incredibly knowledgable and educated on many hip issues considering what iv been through.

      I also was having to use a crutch when out, i once went to a muesum with my partner and a women told me I shouldnt be here if i need to use a crutch to walk. I was incredibly hurt by it.

      Also when i went to get my dressng changed and the nurse asked what I had had, she then asked if id had it because I had had a fall, why jump to that conclusion? Many people are born with disabilities so why say that? That annoyed me to. I do believe there needs to be more recognistion for young people with invisable disabilities

  • joanne-1970
    joanne-1970 sarah1996

    Posted

    Don't let it upset you Sarah, some people are just not worth getting upset over. Most of the people who read the forum know exactly what you have been through so I wouldn't worry about the people who dive in with insensitive comments, they clearly just come on the forum when they want help themselves and don't bother reading about others peoples struggles. It's not the first time it's happened is it. Stay strong Sarah & please don't leave the forum x
    • CelsB
      CelsB joanne-1970

      Posted

      Absolutely, I agree 100%.

      There are people who start their own threads but don't bother to support others. This forum is all about give and take, some people just take.

      You have been so supportive to me, and anyone who knows your story understands to some degree the pain and struggle you have had from an early age.

      Don't leave this forum.  Just try to be the bigger person and ignore rude and insensitive comments.  

      Sending hugs, Cels Xxx

    • sarah1996
      sarah1996 joanne-1970

      Posted

      Haha you make a very good point there. Thaf may very well be the case xx
  • sue1957Geo
    sue1957Geo sarah1996

    Posted

    Oh Sarah, please don't feel like that, you have been through enough more than enough at such a young age, and coped so much better than I could or did, I personally think you are a much braver lady than any one I know, so please don't be upset, people on here are from all over the world, have different stories and ways of explaining, 

    keep your chin up Hun, your amazeballs 😜

    Suexx

    • sarah1996
      sarah1996 sue1957Geo

      Posted

      Awww thankyou. That means a lot to me. But i guarentee you will have done amazingly to hun xx
  • Soos2016
    Soos2016 sarah1996

    Posted

    Sarah, if anything I've said has upset you, I do apologize. For example, it took me a while to understand that you needed a wheelchair, and were having so much difficulty getting one. Hugs to you.
  • senora31074
    senora31074 sarah1996

    Posted

    Hi Sarah I dont consider snyone who has gone through what all of have as a child it is a very traumatic and emotional surgery to have to go through. I know I can be over sensitive on bad days and no matter what someone says to me I take it offensive. You are so young to have. to go through all of this and having support of others going through the same thing is a lot easier than people who have no idea . How long ago did you have your surgery Hun? I am six and a half weeks and try to concentrate on my achievements . I still have good and bad days today being one I went to get in the car and just plopped down (ouch) without thinking do now I am sitting on ice in tears. I see people doing better than me at this stage and some not as good as me and that's ok we are all unique and heal at our own pace! You are no different than any of us at any age. Hang in there it's only going to get better 😊
    • sarah1996
      sarah1996 senora31074

      Posted

      I was 3 weeks yesterday. But like iv tried to mention my surgery was a lot more complex and I said something to someone, they then wrote a thread but because know one had had the same reaction i had the person then said to another member that she dis think i was lying. It was incredibly rude haha.

      Take your time. Theres no rush xx

  • Guest
    Guest sarah1996

    Posted

    HI Sarah,

    Maybe it's because people don't read the back issues as much as they should. It is all up there in black and white your story a lot more information than you needed to give but you did give it to help us all understand where you are coming from. Thats if they care to read it.

    Don't leave this site it's not necessary, you are an adult and have never come across as being a child. The trouble is that a lot of people don't think your age group can possibly have any information to give and try to ridicule and argue.

    Try and ignore anything that is said to try and offend you, to ague is to bring you to their level.

    Love and hugs and admiration to you for all you ave been through in your short life, you are a lovely girl and I think have valuable information for all of us to learn from as you learn from us older folk smilesmile

    Love Gill xxxx

    P>S> Stay just as you are Sarah, you are doing fine and a lovely woman with a big heart xx

    • sarah1996
      sarah1996 Guest

      Posted

      Aww thankyoi Gill your support has been greatly appreciated over the months that I have been speaking to you

      You are probably right, a lot of older adults cannot get it through there heads that a young person can have hip, joint issues and OA haha. I feel more sorry for them than anything else. Xx

  • gloriajoy
    gloriajoy sarah1996

    Posted

    Dear Sarah

    So sorry you feel upset. Please don't stop contributing,you have so much experience to share.

    I have no experience to pass on as I still have not had a first ortho. appointment but have been in denial due to being an extreme coward (despite my advanced age.)

    Knowing a little of what you have been through I have nothing but admiration for your courage and good humour in the face of extreme difficulty.

    I also get the impression that most members of the forum feel the same and only wish you well. 

    We should all try to avoid making assumptions on any basis whether age/ gender/race/ religion or anything else.We just never know what others are going through.

    I have noticed though that some younger people have felt the general public to be less than helpful, assuming that being young they should not need consideration.

    We know actually that the opposite is true and  younger people having health problems deserve the utmost consideration.

    For example I will be 80 in 3 weeks time and am only recently suffering with the dodgy hip,how lucky am I?

    I admit that prior to this experience I took good health totally for granted.

    Am learning my lesson now!

    I for one want to keep hearing news of your progress, so keep on posting and don't be hurt by remarks that may be unintentionally upsetting.

    Don't forget that many contributors are going through anxiety and stress on their own account and may be emotional too.

    Just look after yourself and know that your experiences are of value to others.

    I certainly want to read what you have to say.

    Take care 

    Joy xxx

     

    • sarah1996
      sarah1996 gloriajoy

      Posted

      I understand exactly what you mean.

      You havent seen anyone yet? Does that mean you dont have any diognoises yet to?

      I do understand that some members may be upset but it seems that this oerson has upset a lot of members and does not give them the right to call me a liar haha.

      I hope you have some info of a doctor soon. When do you go to see them? Xxx

    • gloriajoy
      gloriajoy sarah1996

      Posted

      Well as others have said,most users of this site value your posts very highly and feel so sorry that you have been offended by thoughtless comments.

      On top of all you are so bravely coping with you do not need to be hurt in that way.

      The great value of this site is the emotional support provided to one another.Long may it continue. 

      I have learned so much just from reading the variety of posts.

      I have been diagnosed with OA following an x-ray.

      My first referral to a consultant is on 9th May.

      I am so nervous even at this stage.

      How are you getting on yourself?

      I hope you are making good progress.

      You are not given to complaining,seem to have a grin and bear it approach,but we all want to know how you are doing!

      Joyxxx

    • sarah1996
      sarah1996 gloriajoy

      Posted

      Did they tell you how extensive your OA is?

      What do you want to do? Hip replacement or wait?

      I had my OA since a very young age as i didnt have a hip. After my surgery the assistant doctor told me they had removed a big lump of something out of me haha. I should have asked them to take a photo 😂

      No, i havent really done a lot of complaining during my recovery, although im non weightbaring, when im walking with crutches it is quite painful haha. Im also unable to walk very far at all. I think its going to be a very long recovery xx

    • gloriajoy
      gloriajoy sarah1996

      Posted

      After my first x-ray in 2013 my GP just said OA is not life threatening and no need to do anything unless in extreme pain.

      I seem to be lucky to have a high pain threshold so was happy to go away and try losing weight,exercising etc.I did a lot of swimming (less painful than walking) but my walk is ungainly and one sided and I cannot stand  upright.

      I tried physio therapy hoping that would sort me out but after 4 sessions

      the lovely therapist told me I really need to see a hip specialist.

      Also despite keeping as active as pos. my condition is getting worse and family and friends have urged me to deal with it and push for a THR.

      I am still not sure what is the best thing to do,hoping the appt. next week will help.

      Compared with what you are dealing with my situation seems trivial.

      It is obvious that you will take longer for a full recovery than some but I am sure you will get there and be glad of the benefits.

      Just carry on being so indomitable and strong.

      I hope you get the help you need from your college.It is unbelievable that on top of everything else you are dealing with problems connected with your studies.

      Good luck with that,don't know what else to say.

      Take care

      Joyxx

    • sarah1996
      sarah1996 gloriajoy

      Posted

      Bnone ones issues are trivial so dont ever think that.

      Do you think the THR is best for you or waiting it out? Its a huge decisission to make.

      Swimming is amazing, i was so in love with it before i became to painful to even do that, cannot wait to get back in the pool though.

      The doctor may be right about OA not being life threatening but in most cases it is life ruining. Or thats how i see it anyway as it certainly turned my life upside as it got worse and worse as i aged. xx

    • gloriajoy
      gloriajoy sarah1996

      Posted

      Thank you Sarah

      You are so right it is a huge decision and I am very bad at decisions.

      Hopefully I will get some guidance at this upcoming appt.

      Joyxx

    • sarah1996
      sarah1996 gloriajoy

      Posted

      Well i am always here if you need someone to talk to 😊 xxx
    • CelsB
      CelsB gloriajoy

      Posted

      Hi Joy,

      I made my decision when the pain stopped me from doing the things I loved.  I had to give up bowling and long country walks, and I couldn't play wth my grandchildren in the same way, I was too frightened they were going to knock my leg. 

      If you feel the pain is affecting your quality of life significantly it might be time.  Only your decision though.

      Cels Xx

    • gloriajoy
      gloriajoy CelsB

      Posted

      Thank you for that

      I am just so bad at decisions of any kind.

      Just a proper scaredy cat

      Joy xx.

       

    • CelsB
      CelsB gloriajoy

      Posted

      I know, it is a big decision.  I didn't really get a lot of help.  They just told me the risks and the benefits, told me OA wasn't fatal and then the decision was mine.  I felt a huge sense of relief when I had decided, rang my family and friends, and then thought "Oh $*&^, what have I done?".  

      Xxx

    • renee01952
      renee01952 gloriajoy

      Posted

      Oh Joy, I so understand you - ambivalent, procrastinating, doubting (born under sun sign Gemini ) - many decisions are "made" by default - and so that happened with 1st THR as well - not sure if it progressed with the speed of light but bone on bone, in so much pain, it was not funny anymore - 

      On hindsight (of course) I might have done more damage to my body than necessary - 

      So my darling, you will make the decision when you are ready ...

      please let us know the outcome of your visit okay --- That already is a BIG step ...

      big warm hug

      renee

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