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Ahem... sex

Posted , 19 users are following.

AusWinnie
AusWinnie

Ok, I'm just going to put this out there. With all these debilitating symptoms we are all going through, crippling joint pain, emotional issues and family committments, does anyone actually ever feel like sex?

4 likes, 43 replies

43 Replies

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  • BellaRubia
    BellaRubia AusWinnie

    Posted

    Well, men at 50 have their own issues and are not as interested as they were, too. I can not complain, though, I still like it :D and we are still pretty consistent, but after 25 years with the only one man of my life - yep, believe or not - I find myself a little sexualy bored. Haha, need to take care not to become one of those old ladies that go after much younger men, lol.  
  • madcow1964
    madcow1964 AusWinnie

    Posted

    Hi ladies!

    For such a ...um....sore subject....this discussion really made me laugh! What a good job we can just about hang on to our sense of humour!

    Been a good few years for me, too, though it's kind of mutual - no interest on either side. I know things fizzled out when I thought I should come off the Pill at about age 42.About 5 years ago I ventured to ask why we never did "it" anymore, and the reply was "You're always bleeding!". Back then, and until last October (when I hit 50), I was regular as clockwork, virtually to the day! It's just time goes so fast!  Been struggling with our own business for about 10 years - so many financial issues - plus he works for a comapny under the self employment banner, and the stresses are even worse, with finances hardly any better. So it's no wonder relations are as friends and colleagues only (I know exactly where you're coming from, Shaznay!)

    Apart from financial issues and crumbling home issues, I seem to have been going through peri for a few years without knowing it! We are all made aware of hot flushes and dryness down there....but nobody ever told us about all the other crazy issues! About 4/5 years ago I started getting overwhelming feelings of worthlessness and depression, and hubby was often (vocally) unpleasant. I had many suicidal thoughts (not severe enough to even get close to going through with it) but I had 2 beautiful, cloe friends who kept in frequent touch by text and phone calls, and they both kept me from the brink. I also had hot flushes, without sweating, mostly just a red face and neck, plus drenching night sweats around period time.

    For years I seem to have had awful memory and concentration issues. It was only whn I found this forum about 18 months ago, that I realised hormones had started going haywire, although my symptoms were mild. Just before my 49th birthday I spent 5 whole days crying for no good reason, from the first day of my period, so I finally saw my doc who put me on Fluoxetene. I tried a few each month for 3 months, but I got a temporary Christmas job and my self esteem shot up and my moods lifted and I haven't touched the pills since, in spite of mood swings (did someone say "homicidal"??? Yup!).

    Ayway, I digress! Batty old woman rambling on - hbby just rolls his eyes and carries on! Doesn't want to get into health discussions, especially potentially embarassing ones! Mind you, he has to listen to female customers of a certain age, filling him in with their embarasssing ailments!! Ha ha!! Bless him, he has a lot of stress to contend with, on all sides, so it's hardly any wonder that, between us, we can't even contemplate the S word! Hit the big 5 oh and periods started misbehaving - just had 3 periods in under 2 months so have no idea what to expect next!

    I seem to be a bit slow on the uptake - after months of shoulder problems it is only in the last few minutes that I have twigged that it could be down to peri! Just the act of putting my hands on my ample hips is difficult and painful for my right arm!. Think I broke my little toe yet again, stubbing it on something as I can't seem to walk in a straight line anymore!

    Anyway - I shall leave you with this gem I recently found in a 1930's health tome - during a certain transition time in a woman's life, she may lose all interest in relations or....she may become SO desperatelt interested that she becomes a nuisance to any man in her vicnity and will have to be locked up in an institution until the crisis passes and she returns to her normal self!!

    • mel64317
      mel64317 madcow1964

      Posted

      ...on your last comment honey ! I've seen both. A lady I worked with renewed her desire for sex SO fervently during menopause...her husband threatened divorce !!!! 😄 but on a very serious note....I was a volunteer nurse ( you could then) as a teenager in the 60s...and the local huge mental institution was filled in part...with poor poor women who had gone quietly out of their minds, caused by chemical imbalances in the brain, triggered, in part, by menopause !! Only really in the 90s here in the UK did the medical profession accept that in SOME women...this was an illness......and we are all INDIVIDUALS...

      One dear friend of mine in her 80s today, doesn't even remember her memopause happening ( not dementia ! Just had no issues..) and another friend has had horrible symptoms for the last 10 years....

      My advice ? Keep a diary of feelings and symptoms...share this with your partner, friends and health professionals, and if in trouble YELL out till someone listens to you and helps you get some releif..

      big hugs ladies .....we've got this we can do it.. 💝 xx

    • shaznay96184
      shaznay96184 madcow1964

      Posted

      I know someone who would have definitely been hauled off by 'the men in white'!! 

      Seriously, a friend of ours was feeling low in her early 40s. She had 3 kids, worked F/T, felt constantly knackered and had absolutely no interest in sex.....much to her husband's sagrine.

      Took herself off to the GP who took some bloods.  Found she was completely depleted in Testosterone!!  She was given a small dose, for a short time, and things certainly changed.

      I vividly remember the 4 of us chatting on a jolly, drunken night, all sharing stories,and her husband telling me that she wouldn't leave him alone!!

      She confirmed that she felt really horny all the time, and he sometimes knocked her back.

      Moral of this Story:  be careful what you wish for boys!!!!

      (Funny really, because we are spoon-fed Oestrogen and Progesterone: we rarely hear of how very low Testosterone affects us, especially regarding sex drive.  Mind you, it should be mentioned that she developed a fantastic Adam's Apple, deep voice and a terrific Goatie tee, hee!!!lol (I gest of courselol))

      Sx

    • shaznay96184
      shaznay96184 mel64317

      Posted

      Dya know what Mel, I truly believe that my eldest sister's (she's 71) mental health issues really declined because the Shrinks took her off her HRT after about 15yrs. She'd had a hysterectomy.  OK, prior to this she had always been a bit, emm, 'fragile' generally, but ironically she was the fittest, most healthiest of all of us. She was slim, fit and healthy, ate a great diet, exercised, never smoked and rarely drank*. 

      She was in a L/T relationship at this time, and I recall her saying that 'the sex is great on HRT'!!

      I remember a particularly horrible time, however, where even I could see she had 'classic' Menopausal  symptoms, alongside her being given a real cocktail of anti-psychotic drugs. The 'demons' were being dealt with but not the depleted hormones!

      There alone I suppose lies my deep dislike of the use of SSRIs/ADs alone to treat menopausal symptoms.  I believe my sister's mental health was seriously affected by having the safety net of her HRT snatched away from her.  Afterall menopause relates directly to hormonal imbalance not chemical imbalance.

      Enough of my rantings.

      *Suffice to say that the rest of us were a lot less 'whollier than thou': we smoked, all of us drank, flirted(!), some rarely exercised and some ate crap. I suppose Life's a Bitch - but definitely there to be lived!!

    • Moniee
      Moniee shaznay96184

      Posted

      lol. Adam's apple and deep voice is too high a price to pay for great sex.  I will pass. But this is so funny...
    • Moniee
      Moniee madcow1964

      Posted

      This sounds exactly like what I have been going through for over two and a half years. I just did not understand what was happening to me. Though I was going crazy. I had exactly the same feeling and thoughts, EXACTLY. Thank you for sharing. Yesterday, was my first hormonal free day in years. I have energy, an appetite, happy, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Some dizziness, but no periord. I hope this lasts. More women are willing to talk about it now, and give details about sysmptons, what they are going through etc. So Dr's we are not crazy.  Changes in our hormones is serious and should be treated so. 
    • madcow1964
      madcow1964 Moniee

      Posted

      Hmmm....I have an appetite but no energy! Numerous problems with one foot means I can't exercise properly at the moment. The dizziness is weird, isn't it? This morning I started with dull low back ache and the brown streaking that heralds a period - this will be the 4th in just over 2 months! The last one was only 4 days instead of the usual 7 or more, but it only finished last Tuesday! Maybe this is the beginning of the end at last!

      Anyway, I was sitting quietly in Morrisons at lunchtime when I suddenly had a dizzy spell. It felt as if the inside of my head was spinning, and I was surprised when I looked around and the images appeared normal! However, I did begin to feel like part of me wasn't there (I am not mentioning THAT to hubby!!), I was sort of detached from things for 30 seconds or so. I hadn't eaten breakfast and only had a cup of tea (no sugar), until I sipped some full-fat Coke - and that's when the dizziness hit...

      So....purely low blood sugar? Purely dodgy hormones? Or a combination of both? I often seem to get a bit squiffy (such a lovely word!) for no good reason.

      Just been watching 30 Years of Neighbours, and I'm sorry Scott & Charlene - I'm just not up to reliving your memorable wedding now it's after the witching hour!

      Nitey nite x

      Oh all right ..... such a sucker for romance! Gosh, don't they all look so young?!

    • mel64317
      mel64317 shaznay96184

      Posted

      ...absolutely Shaznay I'm with you...!! All the articles in the DM this week with lots of very experienced doctors are saying that HUNDREDS of women have been palmed off with anti depressants in menopause when what they needed was HRT !!!

      Thank GOD they now are starting to recognise the issues..! At the most challenging time of our lives for some of us, we need qualified proffessionals to help us make the RIGHT decisions....as in some cases women have been robbed of their normal reason due to hormone imbalance....not fair...and we deserve better....

      Good luck ladies !!!💝

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