Alcohol at home

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hi

i posted earlier about how I dealt with a stressful situation (holiday double booked) without resorting to alcohol.

i am am starting to feel a bit of a fraud after reading your lovely comments. If I am completely honest, I think the reason I didn't drink was due to the fact there was none in the house, apart from two bottles of husbands beer.

we used to have a cupboard full of booze, but after several binges, I asked my husband to keep his malt whiskeys elsewhere. The rest I gave to one son to keep at his house.

how do you all cope? A lot seem to have alcohol at home and just drink at night. I don't want it in the house as its a permanent thought that if a crisis happens, then I can have a few drinks. 

So I've gone from feeling proud of myself to guilty. We have drink at weekends, but I like it gone by Monday. My husband can't understand, and really neither can i, why I can have wine in the fridge for a couple of weeks without even thinking about it, to searching the house and garage in the hope of finding anything to drink. I've even drunk mouthwash as I've been so desparate. I swore I would never tell anyone that and feel mortified about it. Why sometimes and not all the time.

My husband actually said a couple of weeks ago, that he'd find it much easier if I drank daily as he'd know what to expect. I'd cook dinner with a few glasses of wine, and finish the rest with my meal.

Rather than weeks/months of social drinking and can take it or leave it.

So do you all keep alcohol at home, or go out and buy it? Sorry for this odd post, but I do feel guilty that I only dealt with the situation today as there was no booze to have. It has made me think though, problem sorted without booze.

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  • Posted

    I have various types of alcohol at home, I buy beer every other day, but that's the way of it with TSM. One doesn't shy from alcohol so much, though one technique is to set the number of drinks you'll have and keep no more than that in the house. I've used that method. The store is only 2 blocks away, the bars even closer. It just throws a wrench in the habit and makes you stop and think about it first. Do I really want it so much that I'd walk a couple of blocks for it, or am I good as is? That being said, I've been a daily drinker for decades. I've read about binge drinkers but really could never manage to drink like that. Even when I was up around 12 per night, there got to be a point where I could drink no more without becoming very uncomfortable, plus I'd just start stumbling about the place and using the walls to keep me from falling over. I've driven it down to 4 standards per night as of late. There are beers left in the fridge, but (this is the best way I can put it) I've actually become suspicious towards the 4th pint, lol!
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    • Posted

      Good for you. You've obviously reached an amount you're comfortable with, a tremendous achievement, well down you.

      once back from my holiday I'm going to give naltrexone a go. Reading all the posts, the majority seem to have noticed a reduction in how much they drink. Is that what you take?

      At my worst, the most I drink is a bottle and a half of wine in a day (not every day), used to be able to drink half a small bottle of vodka in a day, but the hangovers were dreadful.

      Thanks again for your advice

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    • Posted

      I am indeed taking Naltrexone. If you're able to keep the amount you drink under control without it, so much the better. You may only need to change your habits and patterned responses to stressful situations to get further control. For that, I'd recommend Mr. Korb's book. If you try to cut back or go dry and just end up relapsing and drinking as much or more than before, then TSM would likely give you the upper hand. Via pharmacological extinction, it restores your choice in the matter and allows you to pick and choose when you drink and how much, if you end up drinking any at all. About 40% decide to just forget about alcohol entirely.
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  • Posted

    Yes, I keep alcohol at home - loads of it.
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    • Posted

      Talk about rubbing salt into wounds lol! you are very lucky, but wasn't the kind of help I was asking for.
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    • Posted

      Luck has nothing to do with it. I think none of us always gets the answer we want - that's life. I didn't have alcohol in the house for years. I obviously assumed that you'd read my previous posts in which I said I own and live in a restraunt. I have booze in my living quarters for visitors. I wasn't trying to be abusive or funny - well, maybe a little funny and if I offended you, I apologise.
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  • Posted

    No alcohol at home,I buy it daily and just one bottle but quite often end up round the corner shop buying another
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    • Posted

      I'm the same as you Nicole. Buy a bottle every night, on weekends find myself going to the corner shop for the second.
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  • Posted

    I can't keep alcohol at home.  I would just drink it.  My husband does not like having to hide away his drinks.  He drinks a little, at weekends.  I go to the shop every day.  Sad, embarrassing admission.  At least I don't go twice, since taking Selincro !

    Alonangel 🎇

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  • Posted

    I know why vicky..because I would have the same problem if I were drinking on the "weekends".  Only I can not only drink on weekends...I am a proven BINGE drinker..once I start...it goes for at least 2 weeks or 30 days..whichever my body can handle.

    ​But for you...it is "coping skills" you don't have.  Your coping skill that you have developed is alcohol.  You said you want it during "crisis" and that is because you haven't learned how to cope with crisis any other way.  So I was told by many therapists. 

    ​Therefore, not running to the store...to get some the other day after being frazzled on the phone with your travel arrangments...should make you very proud.

    ​When I'm hit with a crisis...I wouldn't care what was going on in the house..my immediated reaction was to run to the store and cover my anxiety or anger...with alcohol.  You didn't do that this time...so reflect back on what you did do...to cope...even if the result of not getting liquor after being totally aggitated was to only feel "proud".  For sure you wouldn't have had that "proud" feeling if you had run to the store and that IS a postive thing for you.

    ​I STILL don't have coping skills....but somehow I managed 8 years sobriety..that amazes me and someohow I have now have almost 2 months.  I usually am very uncomfortable after a "crisis" but I stick to not drinking and not running to the store and after I get thru that pain of being upset...I usually feel better for NOT running to the liquor.  Don't take that accomplishment away from yourself...you DID IT...you coped with out alcohol...and that is HUGE for someone like us.

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    • Posted

      ps...I have drank mouthwash too.....its just the sadness of our condition....when we need alcohol we will do anything to fill that yuckiness we are feeling.

      ​Also, don't hold on to what your husband said "that he would rather have you drink daily".  That is such a powerful statement to someone like us....when someone close makes a statement that it is OK for us to abuse our bodies (basically).  You have to realize and you HAVE...that for you it is not OK to do this daily...not healthwise mentally or physically. 

       

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    • Posted

      Misssey, two lovely posts, thank you so much. You are so right in saying I need coping skills. I thought I had learnt after having cbt, but obviously not.

      Yes I feel much better having not bought drink yesterday, so I can see it as a positive. Also my husband has just said he was proud of me, and admitted he was a prat for saying about me drinking daily.

      im pleased to hear you're doing well and wish paper f would come back soon as she's worrying me.

      im so glad you haven't left this forum, it wouldn't be the same without your words of wisdom xx

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    • Posted

      I'm so glad your husband talked to you about his comment.

      ​I won't leave the forum..but it is hard sometimes to post about happiness in sobriety because I know so many are still suffering.  BUT...I could be suffering in 3 hours from now...its such a sneaky condition that one never knows. 

      ​I have been fortunate this (almost 60 days)...because I ASKED to be drug tested to support my "disability" case...I want them to know and have documentation that I am not drinking.  So I subjected myself to random testing.  Having that in the back of my mind keeps from drinking....Because I would have drank at least 3x in the last 60 days. 

      All you can do and I can do and everyone can do...is take it all one day at a time and pat ourselves on the back for EVERY accomplishment...even if it is small.

      ​Paper will be back....she is a big part of this team.  And she enjoys helping others (even if she doesn't feel like coming back for herself)...I am sure she will be back for others...which in turn helps her. sad

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    • Posted

      Oh Misssy, it is great to read your positive Post. Your being at a different place is great... for the struggling...to get there. 
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    • Posted

      Thank you Angel..you may not see it...but I see that you are in a much different place than you were about only a week ago.  You even cracked a joke "taking the tourist route to get there"...lol.  Glad you seem to be feeling a little better.
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    • Posted

      Ah Misssy, you should hear me crack jokes... when I've had a few drinks !!!

      That probably was a very misplaced comment.

      Old habits die hard.

      All the best,

      Angel ('Off to check eyeballs.) 😎 👀 🙄 😄 ⭐️

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