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Alcohol consumption forum

Posted , 7 users are following.

mary8693
mary8693

I find  the discussions about issues with alcohol are short lived in comparison with other discussions in this website.

People are initially supportive and helpful when you first post but soon after the connection is lost and you wonder why.  I guess a number of us drop in and say they are making a new start. We mean well.  Then, drop out, not being able to stick to what we said we would. It is hard to come back and say I failed.  

I wish we could be more open about our struggle.

 

0 likes, 33 replies

33 Replies

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  • RHGB
    RHGB mary8693

    Posted

    This is a British forum and regardless of the fact that many people in the world speak English, that doesn't make us all the same, we are some what more pragmatic than others, and we don't tend to like continually talking about problems if we don't see it moving forward.

    There is a tried and tested method, using medication and most of us that have been through alcohol addiction realise that willpower alone will not do it.

    So when people come on and ask for guidance, then ignore it, say something like, AA will get me through this, we kind of go, okay, go with that if that is what feels best. When it fails, as it does for most people, we have moved on and are concentrating on the people following the route that has worked for many.

    We can only help people that want to be helped, those that want to do it their own way, are left to do it their own way. We are all different. But more than ever, we (most of us) have been through the depression and despair. We wnat to help people, but if they want to do their own thing, then we leave them to get on with it.

    The above is not meant to be cutting, merely an explanation of why we tend to concentrate on the ones moving forward.

    • mary8693
      mary8693 RHGB

      Posted

      Yes, it is interesting what you say about Brits.

      All people want to be helped even the ones who would say otherwise.

      But using medication to overcome your problem is only one of the options and we are all different.  What works for one doesn't work for the other.  Being open minded is also a British characteristic. 

       

    • RHGB
      RHGB mary8693

      Posted

      Look, I'll keep this short, you've tried talking by using the AA, you know talking doesn't work for you, perhaps consider other routes, that many of us have tried successfully.

      As we would say, best of British to you, that means good luck.

      I'm out.

  • Robin2015
    Robin2015 mary8693

    Posted

    HI Mary, you are partyly right but do not forget that you can send private messages to members you really estimate or admire.I have done this sometimes over the 3 years I have been here. Robin
    • vickylou
      vickylou Robin2015

      Posted

      Robin

      private messages are great. I've been very glad of the ones I've received over four years. You've been a great support as has RHGB and many others. I'm still in touch with paper fairy via texts and the dreaded Facebook!

    • mary8693
      mary8693 Robin2015

      Posted

      Thanks Robin.  Do you mean you have been in this site for over 3 years?

      Molly

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 mary8693

      Posted

      oopsMary..sorry 2 years and 4 months...not 3 years but I do enjoy trying to assist others although my message are often quite short....Robin
    • mary8693
      mary8693 Robin2015

      Posted

      Thanks Robin.  Well done for your abstinence and strength.

      It is also true your messages are often quite short.

      Tell us more about you and your struggle.

      It couldn't have been that easy...

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 mary8693

      Posted

      Lost my job afte 20+ years and the evil Director stayed there although I had sales of 660k per year which paid for my salary, company car, pension benefits etc....following year became house dad. Had always travelled extensively world wide for 20+ years including meals,, drinks and entertainment..AND drinking hevily at home. Had near fatal car crash in my car in France whilst on business. Alone in car, had not been drinking but looked at map, drove into ditch at 90 miles per hour and smashed into central steel barrier on Motorway! drove into ditch, drove up and tipped aroung 180 degrees and landed on hte roof which was SMASHED up comepletely...THEN slided on the roof for 32.5 metres ore 1090 feet. French police measured it...got out with internal blledings, scratches nad hopital visit for 2 days but not even a migrane!! A miracle they said....drank even more back in the uKm, Mving back to redundancy I then became a house dad with twins the next year...stopped after one year since I want to live longer, be healthy, see them grow up etc!! End of story but now 4 1/2 years no drinking...Robin
    • gwen45436
      gwen45436 Robin2015

      Posted

      OMG Robin, that sounds like a Sylvester Stallone movie - you obviously had someone looking out for you.

      You have done soo well - really chuffed for you bud.

      G.

    • mary8693
      mary8693 Robin2015

      Posted

      Thanks for sharing Robin.  You did really well and, had a lucky escape too!  Becoming a father maybe gave you the motivation you needed.  

      Do you miss it or are you tempted at all?

      Mary 

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 mary8693

      Posted

      of coursre I miss the odd red wine but think of the consequenses..I cannot trust myself just to have that one drink and no more...
    • gwen45436
      gwen45436 Robin2015

      Posted

      What are the consequences in your case Robin ?  I am aiming for just that with luck.
    • gwen45436
      gwen45436 Robin2015

      Posted

      Hi Robin, you would think after all this time you would be ok with a glass.  Do you just never have one now and then - or would you go on to drink daily and how would it affect your health?

      Gwen

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 gwen45436

      Posted

      a small secret my wife does not know: 2 years ago my colleague passed her driving license and shewas not young. The boss gave French Champagne and I had a full glas..tasted nice and I did not have the need for more..all was actually well and I did not crave a 2nd glass.that was 2 1/2 years after I had stopped. Feel happy about it and do not really miss it..ok and sorted// Robin
    • gwen45436
      gwen45436 Robin2015

      Posted

      Thanks Robin - appeciate your reply.  And that is without meds - respect my friend.................G.
    • mary8693
      mary8693 Robin2015

      Posted

      You are wise and strong Robin.

      My husband is like you.  He gave up smoking and drinking in a jiffy and never went back.  Some people do it, others can't.

    • vickylou
      vickylou Robin2015

      Posted

      Your secret is safe here robin! You must have felt chuffed not wanting another.

      unfortunately, after 4 years I wasn't as strong. Asked for a lime and soda and got wine and soda. I should have put I'd down after the first sip. I was curious to see how I felt, I felt great and then it escalated from that one drink again.

      The nice warm glow, feel good factor and completely relaxing was great. However as we all know, that doesn't last long.

      well done

    • vickylou
      vickylou mary8693

      Posted

      you make it sound like it was easy, a walk in the park! I don't think he found it 'in a jiffy'.

      A lot depends on how much and for how long a person has been drinking

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