Alcohol user disorder??

Posted , 12 users are following.

i have a friend who I'm 99% certain has AUD. it's like looking at myself 20 years ago.

We meet once a week, or rather should do, but she often cancels at short notice and gives the excuses I used to use. When we do meet we usually go for lunch, either a restaurant or pub and share a bottle of wine. However, the last few times, she's ordered a second bottle, even though I've said I've had enough. She will either go to the bar suddenly or grap a waiter for a second bottle, and always finishes it. Sometimes I will have another couple of glasses, but normally don't.

She always has a bottle of water in her handbag (mine used to be v&t instead of water!) She always wants the loo several times whilst we're shopping, and at restaurants (again one of my old tricks, a quick top up) She always wants to try clothes on. I've tried saying "leave you're bag with me whilst you try on, "but she says no I'm fine with it.

Ive tried suggesting coffee shops instead, but she normally says the food is too expensive! and she's forever sucking mints or ghewing gum.

My question is do I stop pussy footing about and just come straight out and ask her? She knows my history with alcohol and the problems it caused me and my family. I've even said I don't want a drink, i don't want to go backwards in the hope she will say something.

I would be interested in any suggestions anyone has, but after re-reading my post have decided I will say something. If she doesn't like me asking then tough. I only wish someone had tackled me earlier

1 like, 106 replies

106 Replies

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  • Posted

    Ive stopped going on this forum as it drove me mad and it is now. The most frustrating forum I've ever been on

    • Posted

      Not the people on it but every time I post it just disappears
    • Posted

      I would like to say that no one should judge
    • Posted

      Re this forum I can't even put full stops commers anything and that is why I stopped posting

      But Vicky Lou texted me so I looked

      All I can say is I'm doing ok thank the Lord but please don't judge those that still suffer

    • Posted

      Hi

      i had exactly the same problem some months ago. On your iPad go into notes and type, then copy and paste onto the forum. I drove me fxxxxxg mad, so know just how you feel.

      im not judging anyone, the last person to judge

    • Posted

      HI Missy and Vickylou...I have never had problems posting for 2 yrs. Use an old PC and slow internet. Not ipad or Tablet..did use my table once and total rubbish...ciao Robin
    • Posted

      Hi Paper fairy. I think we have all been thru too much to judge on this forum.

      My husband who is an IT Consultant, has always said that he would need to be paid to use ipad.

      Kind Regards

      JulieAnne

    • Posted

      Unfortunatly I only have an iPad and don't have a pc. I'm divorced and have to make do with my iPad and iPhone 

    • Posted

      No sorry I don't Paper fairy. I didn't mean to sound dismissive about your situation and ipad. I had an ipad and hated it and yes I know what it's like to be divorced and live on my own.

      I don't have AUD thank god but my husband does. It has been a very long journey for us and we are still on it. So I do have some understanding. I have found the people on this forum so supportive, better than any alanon family support. There's RH who we all turn to for clarification. Nat and Vickylou who know exactly what I mean. Missy, Gwen, Ade I value all of them x

    • Posted

      We are one big happy family aren't we JulieAnne😃😃

    • Posted

      For my part I'd like to think we are, even tho I haven't been posting for very long on this forum. I am still in a bit of a pickle, so I need all the help and advice I can get xx

    • Posted

      And you Paper fairy. Don't take too much notice of me I am quite stressed at the mo x

    • Posted

      We are indeedy my lovely . We are both newbies , I have only been posting on here since December .I came across the site when looking for info on TSM and Nalmefene . You guys are the only people I will talk to about it ...oooh and my new friend at ARC ha ha 😆😆😆

    • Posted

      Robin it was so frustrating . I'd type a post and then it would just totally disappear. It was so bad that I stopped posting like paper did. It wasn't until RHGB suggested using copy and paste, that I posted again.

      it appeared that it was down to where in the uk you lived. I think the mod must have been fed up with all the complaints. Anyway I've had no problems since. If I'm going to write a long post, then I use copy and paste.

    • Posted

      Didn't realise you were a Newbie too.

      Hope your keyworker at the ARC is better than the one we got, wet behind the ears and one size fits all; AA or the highway x

      Good luck x

    • Posted

      JulieAnne

      you weren't a member of the forum when members were having problems, like paperfairy is having. It's nothing to do with her iPad. I tried iPad, iPhone, Apple Mac , Samsung and several other tablets. In the end I had to email the moderator.

    • Posted

      Thank you Vickylou. I feel that I was a valuable member on this forum for a long time. All my friends here had exactly the same problem months ago, as have newbies!

      Apart from you, RHGB, Ade. Robin where are they now? They gave up because of this. I stay in touch with you, alonangel, Tess and Kelly in US. 

      I am now on another forum where these problems don't happen.

      Thank you all my ol friends who are still helping others on this site xx

    • Posted

      My apologies. I suppose the old antenna went up when Paperfairy mentioned ipad. Hubby has had loads of probs with them at work xx

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