Alcohol user disorder??

Aww Vicks, so sorry to hear that. At least she didn't die alone bless her xx

You've been a good friend xx

OMG Vicks I am so sorry to hear this news .You did everything you could possibly do for your dear friend and enabled her boys to be with her at the end .Such a tragic story.Thinking of you hun xx

i am totally shocked and so sad to hear this..you did try to help....Robin

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss Vickylou, you tried to help but I still can't help but think her family could have done a lot more. It's totally unbelievable that someone that is Married and has children can go from a Secret Alcoholic to no longer being with us in the space of a Week and a half. Especially as the Husband was so proud that he didn't even want the Doctor to know about the situation by paying for private rehab. You quite plainly did everything you could and I'm sure that you put yourself in a difficult situation when it was down to her Family to have tackled the situation Years ago. I'm presume the cause of death was organ failure? You know as well as I do that Liver Disease does not happen over night. Cirrhosis generally happens in a period of no less than 10 years (on average). There is certainly something fishy here, and many questions to be asked. She must have had suffering from Alcoholic Hepatitis for a good while and must have been to the GP a number of times in the last Year or so. Im finding myself getting upset about the lack of care that this poor Woman had. She must have been going through so much pain (physically and Mentally) Why was everyone around her trying to cover this up, the Doctor is clearly Incompetent or at best, neglectful.

I really feel sorry for you Vickylou, you were clearly her best (so might say only) friend that she had. Do you mind telling me what County she was in? My thought are with you. AL 

HI Again,,,sorry that my reply was short and Pistal666 did a brilliant reply and exactly my feelings..you did what you could and her family did know but did not do enough soon enough...her sons and husband are obviously distraught....not easy and you have been a good support. regards Robin

I don't believe the lady had been to her GP at all.

I've had no end of trouble trying to get answers from my gastro as to where exactly I am, the best I could get from him is that I am Child-Pugh A, which is the first stage of cirrhosis. When I had my ultrasound last year, the radiologist said to me (after I asked her to give me a straight answer). well, it's not great (my liver) but it's no worse than it was two years ago.

I mention the above, because three years ago this April, I went to see my GP feeling unwell and losing the use of my legs. He sent me straight to hospital, telling me that I would not be going home that night, but not why. Only when I got my patient notes about a year later, did I realise I was sent for suspected liver failure.

To make it more interesting, I had a brain haemorrhage, so 12 hours later, they sent me to the super hospital, where they were planning to take a Black & Decker to my skull, fortunately that never happened. All the time I was at the original hospital, my notes kept saying - Pt Alert & Orientated.

Whilst I was in ITC I became jaundiced, I was also diagnosed with portal hypertension/oesophageal varices and according the doctors I started to suffer from hepatic encephalopathy. The lead consultant told me some weeks later, that he was surprised I had survived.

Two things stand out for me. One, why had I developed those then, since I had never had anything like it previously and also they are not really symptoms of C-P A, more C-P C.

I didn't really want to mention this, but I have a personal feeling, that whilst someone maybe drinking themselves to death, whilst they are still drinking, it allows the body to function in some way. I understand detox, I have had it done in hospital and have done it myself at home. But I feel that the sudden withdrawal of alcohol brings on symptoms that may have previously been kept under the surface.

Do not forget, that this woman was taken to hospital, so obviously no alcohol, but after one night, partial detox, she self discharged and she went to a hotel. Her body could have just gone into complete shock.

I know that the first hospital I was at, they just did a CT scan for my brain, no ultrasound was done to view my vital organs. As I said, I don't think she went to the GP and by the time the hospital got hold of her properly, it would have to been too late for anything else but palliative care.

Rhgb

many thanks for the above explanation. Yes you're correct in saying that my friend had not been to her gp. Her husband had asked her on several occasions if she'd been drinking, but the answer was always, no or I've just had a glass of wine.

I genuinely believe she was a 'functioning alcoholic'. Both her sons knew she liked a,drink and could easily drink a bottle of wine in an evening. They never saw her completely wasted or passed out.

she spent a lot of time on her own, sons were at university, her husband spent more time away than he was at home. I was her best friend, had suffered with AUD myself, yet it never dawned on me how much she was drinking. It was only recently that I'd got suspicious, and having done similar things, i.e. Vodka in a water bottle, always wanting the loo, the missed meetings, cancelled at the last minute.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, looking back now, yes the signs were there, but only if you knew what you were looking for.

Certainly amazing that you are still alive. We can certainly learn from your story. Robin

Hi paper

Youre right, alcohol kills. If it helps just one person, then something good has come out of it. I totally agree with your friend, help is there, but we have to look and ask for it

At the end of the day, it was her choice not to seek help to get better. Family wise, there was only really her sons and they'd more or less left home. As I said before her husband was away more than he was at home. Whilst he was never violent towards her, he was a control freak and was emotionally abusive to her. She had lost all her confidence, and just basically existed from day to day. I think I told you on the phone, she had her own secret 'bar' upstairs, which no-one knew about. She was quite clever having a couple of drinks with the family, when they were all there (which wasn't very often) knowing she'd got a secret supply hidden away

I am so glad things are working out well for you. You know where I am, so text or phone anytime xx

Great story!

Those are very good points Paper fairy. The person with AUD has to want to get better. Would I be right in thinking tho that it is a huge commitment to make for someone with AUD, a life without alcohol? Is this where TSM would perhaps fill the gap?

My husband still thinks he is fit and healthy, even tho his platelets were not clumping properly and his blood was thin. Still refuses to have a scan which his GP wants him to have. Still in denial really, but is faithfully taking Campral thank goodness xx

I have never met anyone/spoken to anyone that didn't want to get better.

There are some people, generally older people who realise it might be a bit too late for them, who are stubborn and say they prefer drinking. But I think they feel it is too late for them.

The problem is getting help and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. The system does not make it easy and puts a lot of people off trying. I think if the system were a lot easier, like GPs being more helpful to start with and then ARCs employing competent skilled staff who were up to speed on all the options. That were able to assess people properly and not use a one size fits all strategy, we would see a far higher success rate.

Yes, it is a huge commitment for someone to give up alcohol for the rest of their lives. It is a huge psychological barrier, that scares the bejesus (I was going to use a word that began with S) out of people.Yes, I think TSM partly fills that gap.

He will come around to the scan. At the moment he doesn't want to know what damage he might have done, he is concentrating on the positive, that he has stopped drinking - last year would you have put money on that happening?

The longer he takes Campral (up to 12 months) the better. It takes him (time wise) further away from alcohol, resets the brain more and lets his liver heal the best, because no alcohol at all is being consumed.

Thanks again RHGB that clarifies things for me. Not having AUD makes it difficult for me to understand the drive the cravings but I am trying. I know that he has come a long way; sober in Feb! That has not happened since 2014 and it took a month of rehab to reach that point, so to do it with Campral at home is a huge step. I am a worryer. I just want him to be well. I think when you have seen your loved one close to death as he has been, you cannot help but worry.

By the way, I am not discussing any of this with him, just you poor guys! x

Hi julieAnne

please don't think for a minute that I'm criticising you cause I'm not

Like RHGB said, being told or realising that you can never drink again is a horrific thought for someone contemplating abstainance. This is where calpral helped me enormously.

certainly for me, by taking campral correctly, the cravings I used to have, slowly ebbed and flowed, until after about 6 months I can honestly say the cravings had gone.

This is where I get confused. Your husband has stated many times he's happy just taking campral which is an anti craving medication. Yet you keep going on to him about TSM and want him to give it ago, to the extent of buying drugs and having them ready for him.

Im only saying how I felt when someone told me I could still drink on campral (withdrawal never mentioned, unlike Antabuse ) . To my way of thinking, and I stress this is only how I would have felt, knowing that there was medication in the house which enabled me to continue drinking, is a condradiction to my taking campral. To me, the two drugs are the complete opposite.of each other. What's the point of taking campral for a year. Hopefully without alcohol the cravings had stopped, only to be told "right campral done and dusted, I don't crave alcohol, so hey hoe, let's try this drug, it must be excellent as prescribed by a dr and i can now drink without lying or feeling guilty, the opposite of what I've been doing for a year"

If your husband wants to drink, he will, no matter what. Campral is making him forget alcohol, or rather to crave it. " a life without alcohol is where TSM might help fill the gap" TSM to me, is a red light to drink. 

Im hoping someone will explain why TSM is so successful yet allows you to drink, when you've spent a year on campral not drinking.

as I've already said, and I stress only my view, the two drugs contradict each other.

 

Hi vicks. No and no. That's not where we are. Yes I wanted him to use TSM, I don't deny that, but now he is comitted to using Campral. He will not be mixing the two together that would be counterproductive. He has only agreed to start TSM if he feels that Campral is no longer working for him. However, HE WILL DECIDE NOT ME. The Naltrexone is there if all else fails, IF HE WANTS IT. I realise that TSM is not for everyone the same as AA isn't. He has tried AA he has tried CBT neither has worked.

An important point- he has never used Campral or Naltrexone. So neither of us knew at that time which method would be the best. He only knew that alcohol repulsed him and he could not bear to drink anymore even with Naltrexone.

He believes Campral is working for him. That is fine as long as it works. All I want from him now is honesty. If he picks up and feels Campral isn't working. I DO NOT want him to start bingeing again. He is pushing 60. He only has to have a maximum of 9 units (approx 1 bottle of wine) in 24 hours now, in order to get hooked. That isnt much. I could drink that at a push. If he drinks any less than 8 units in the 24 hours after, he starts the dts. The seizures soon after that with tachycardia then myocardial infarction. That has happened to him. Do you see what we are up against? DESPERATION DRIVES YOU TO TRY ANYTHING. Campral TSM whatever.

He must be safe. February is a bad month for him, but so far he has been fine. I hope that this explains things a bit more x

Thanks for the explanation which makes sense. I suppose you have to look at the long term picture as to what he will do after a year on campral. No criticism intended, just me being curious.

good luck with campral