Posted , 9 users are following.
I've been trying to figure out what to post because I don't want to focus on my suffering because everyone that is here is suffering in one way or another...or they are completely sober.
With this "condition"....those are the only 2 ways it goes....we either are suffering or recovering....or recovered.
I feel I had a good reason to "relapse"...I have been getting 4K for 2 years for "disability" thru insurance from a company I used to work for.
When I started drinking...it was because I had received a small check....didn't know why and long story short....they stopped paying me because they believe all my problems are caused by mental illness (which they cover for 2 years).
So..after the phone conversation with them...my brain was like...HOW WILL I PAY MY MORTGAGE? HOW WILL I EAT? And I went to the liquor store to stop my brain and pain.
Drinking only caused more pain. I ended in hospital again (my sister forced me to go).
I'm not going to say...it didn't take away my pain and brain spin....because IT DID. But, it caused me once again to be VERY sick. I'm not going to say everything will be ok if I don't drink....cause I don't know that everything will be ok.
I will say....that I am physically and emotionally drained from this "condition". I DID have 8 years sober previously...and I will continue to post and help others the best I can....to get thru their tough days...because I KNOW...just as many here KNOW...how you feel.
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