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All These Posts May Have Saved Me

Posted , 9 users are following.

manda16171
manda16171

Hello fellow peri-meno suffers. Until rescently I admit its naive, but I didnt know this part of life, condition or what ever label it has even existed. 

I have been 'suffering' pretty much every symptom for over a year now. In 5 days it will be 1yr since I lost someone I was very cloes to ; to cancer. My dad, in my dads last 10 days before he past I only then realized my mother had full blown dementia alot more has happend since. One being Peri mno.(I did think alot of my symptoms were due to grief)

Reading the 'symptom' list they sound like  life things women experience. Actually living through each symptom is almost like child birth you cant really explain the worst of it to someone who hasnt been there. Why is this part of life not openly discussed, & seems to be 'hidden away in cyber space' like a dirty little secret?

I am I the verge of divorce as I suffer in my home in silence. I have a financially supportive husband but I am left alone to suffer.

I did turn to my GP who was keen to throw some antidepressants my way, but what about the nausea, migraines, aching muscles, weight gain...I did end up in a counsellors office as I need to get back to work. How can you be a productive member of society when you forget simple things who will hire someone who may want to cry at the drop of a hat?

Anyone who may read this thank you for taking the time, because it has helped putting it out there & reading of others 'secret' or private hell.

PS Im use to be a  happy,life loving ...mum & wife I feel suddenly & unexpectedly 47 ,old miserable , over weight, hopeless....

2 likes, 26 replies

26 Replies

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  • Maggie1966
    Maggie1966 manda16171

    Posted

    Manda, I too am hoping this forum will help me through the peri and the next few months. I am looking at getting back to work, my marriage finishing and looking for somewhere new to rent whilst having a low credit score and no deposit. It seems a nightmare. The peri isn't helping at all. I used to sleep like a log and now I just lie awake for 3-4 nights in a row without getting off to sleep untill 3-4am, and am finally exhausted by the 5th night and barely get past tea-time. Used to love reading but can't concentrate. Hate having to leave the house. And the crying! Can't speak to anyone (bank, housing etc) without bursting into tears. I could cope with most of it if only I could
    • Maggie1966
      Maggie1966

      Posted

      .........stop the crying. Looking forward to being retired and free of my hormones!
    • manda16171
      manda16171 Maggie1966

      Posted

      Oh Maggie I can so relate to you I do feel broken hearted as I feel it. I have not wanted to be here going through anything (I would not take my own life) just not wanting to exist but I have 2 teenage kids who still need me & 1 adult child I , its so hard to feel positive when feeling so bad. I dont know if its by chance or wheather reading alot of these posts & receiving such wonderful support from this site but I have felt a wee bit at peace Im still feeling anxious especially among people it could be a lack of energy as I do feel so tired most of the time. Im qualified in a trade(self employed) but am broke, I feel unemployable I cant tell clients "sorry cant work today as I cant stop crying at the drop of a hat or have concentrating problems ect) "Im just hoping there is a naturally reason for what we are experiencing if not only to be understanding for others. One idea I have been given was to let go of as many stress's as I can & keep life simple. Keep strong . Sometimes a good screaming crying has left me limp but no worse.

      Thank you for sharing Maggie

  • Maggie1966
    Maggie1966 manda16171

    Posted

    It is definitely a great idea to keep life as simple as possible. When I am feeling anxious about the future and can't settle I like to have a clear out . I'm not one for hoarding but always find lots to throw out or recycle. Did that today whilst playing upbeat songson my iPod at full volume. I can't help but sing along to a catchy tune. Unlike you I don't have to worry about children but I have a wee dog to consider when looking for somewhere to live. If he's happy I'll be happy. I have decided to look on this part of my life as a challenge to overcome, get through to the other side and enjoy the rest of my life. Today like yourself I also feel a bit more at peace and dare I say it, positive. I had a job interview yesterday and the lady interviewing had the window open due to 'being of a certain age'. My heart went out to her too.

    I am going to read up on 'mindfulness'. I think it's about living in the moment rather than going over past events or worrying needlessly about the future both of which I do constantly. It seems a simple idea but perhaps not that easy to put into practice if you are already feeling down or hopeless.

    Can I also say that you don't need to be in work to be productive. You're a mum of three and a caring daughter to your mum. You don't have to be bringing in Montero be of value. A mother and daughter's love can't be quantified. Be kind to yourself Manda.

    • Maggie1966
      Maggie1966

      Posted

      That last para should have said money, not montera, whatever that is smile

  • manda16171
    manda16171

    Posted

    Ok its days later since I posted. Ive been awake 2hrs feeling really bad. I thought I could read/write myself past this downer. Tears are wanting to gush , Im so miserable it hurts . My husband is watching the rugby & I just want to scream, how can he not see how miserable I am & be so indifferent. I cant say anything to him I wont handle being yelled at . Thats it Im getting antidepressants, I dont want to feel anymore.
  • Maggie1966
    Maggie1966 manda16171

    Posted

    Hi Manda, I'm sure that's a good idea for now if the antidepressants help you get over this trying time. You might need them for w while though and they don't kick in straightaway. You might get side effects but try to persevere through them I already had depression before the period and have been on them for years but luckily no side effects. Despite that i have just spent an hour crying in the bath with the radio on when my husband is enjoying a film totally oblivious. You are not alone. I think it's a rare woman who has a totally supportive and understanding husband. Now I've had a warm bath and a good cry I think I might get a good night's sleep. Perhaps something simple like a nice bath might help you feel.more settled?
    • manda16171
      manda16171 Maggie1966

      Posted

      Hi Maggie I will see my Gp & have an indepth discussion on side effects. Im feeling my mind is telling me I need a better life. Thank you for your reply
  • Maggie1966
    Maggie1966 manda16171

    Posted

    Hopefully any side effects will be mild for you. I didnt get any that I can remember but I think I now need a change as the peri rears it's ugly head and they no longer seem to be as effective.

    I hope you find the right type and dose for you asap. Good luck.

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