Alone with citalopram

Posted , 4 users are following.

This discussion has been locked due to a period of inactivity. Start a new discussion

Hi I don't know where to start really, I was put on citalopram a week ago, I was at the doctors regarding another matter but somehow she coaxed out of me what really is going on, I've been on 3  5mg diazepam a day for 8 years and she wants me off it  and I do too but I wasn't having any of it and said they helped me, but, she unlike every other doctor ive seen had all the time in the world for me and I just blurted out I was severely depressed and had been for over 20 years, soon as I told her I could tell she was glad I had finally accepted it and told someone, she couldnt of been anymore understanding, I felt finally I had someone I can trust  that can take away this  pain I've been in for too long. To cut a long story short 12 years ago when I was 31 my life turned upside down where I had to suddenly move away from home  to care for my mum, but  she died in my ams after 4 years of me caring for her, as you can expect that took a lot out of me, but I battled through that, alone,.... Along with that Ive lost the girl I love because of this illness I have.

I have retreated  into myself so much since,  I am a recluse in my home I am scared and alone, beyond going to the shop I pretty much can't go out or work or anything, you see I am away from ALL my friends and family ive no support at all, where I live I don't know anyone well enough to call a friend for support,  I've lost touch with friends and my family haven't contacted me in over 4 years, the endless lonelyness and the loss of everything so dear to me now has tipped me over the edge, I am in Isle of Man so it's very had to get to see anyone because of the sea and the cost of travel, at this moment I am really struggling, can't stop crying I am at totally Rock bottom this is Why I told my doc because I've done nothing but thnk of ending the pain lately. I used to thnk I am the strongest person I know but there's only so much a person can take.

Soon as I got home from the chemist I came on here and it's all horror stories and I don't think I can face that, no drug can take away lonelyness and the loss I feel,  I am scared I am jumping out the frying pan into the fire, please can someone help me, I need advice because if these are going to make me worse I need to stop them right now, it's hard enough trying to get off Valium without cit making me worse, I am not after sympathy I don't know what I am after I need to speak to someone even if  it's just typing on a forum. 

0 likes, 17 replies

Report

17 Replies

Next
  • Posted

    Don't believe all the horror stories ..we are all different..I had no side effects from cit and I too take valium ,have done for 44 years

    dont despair ..you have a life to lead and the tablets will help..yes they take time for some people to take effect but for others the effect is quite quick

    All meds have side effects but the benefits outweigh themerhaps you could do some voluntary work ..this would enable you to meet people

    I agree meds don't take away the pain of losing someone..you need to ask for some therapy

    if I can be of any help please ask

    take care ..there is light at the end of the tunnel 

    Pat 

    Report
    • Posted

      The meds will help you come to terms with your life and help you deal with your problems 
      Report
    • Posted

      Don't try to reduce the valium while you are in this state ..get yourself on sun even keel ..and if you feel you need the valium as I do,tell your doctor..it's your body 
      Report
  • Posted

    Hi Sean

    Please dont feel scared of the med. Its been a life saver for me. Years ago my mum had been on valium for ages and really struggled to come off it. She started cit whilst withdrawing and she managed with will power. You may have some side effects, mine was increased anxiety but they are worth it in the long term. Being on meds wont solve all your problems but for me it has given me back my positivity and the ability to look at things with a rational clear head. There are always people on here to chat and give you advice when youre feeling bad xx

    Report
  • Posted

    Hi Sean

    Oh bless you.  You've come to the right place here.  There's many people who can support you through your depression and help guide you re Citalopram.

    I suffered from severe depression and anxiety for about 15 years before I was put onto this type of medication, and it completely changed my life.  I recovered and have been well for 15 years now.  I couldn't believe it!

    I lost both my parents 6 years ago, within weeks of each other.  I know how hard it is and without my medication I don't think I could have coped.

    It's not an easy ride initially on this medication, but the end result is so worth it.  Don't read the horror stories, as each person has different experiences.  The side effects can be tricky, but they wear off, and with perseverance and much patience you will find yourself again.

    You will get lots of support here, so don't be afraid to ask anything, or post as many times as you want.

    Withdraw from Valium very slowly - listen to your doctor too.  You sound like you have a great doctor there.

    You can do this, and you'll get back to the person you were.

    Stay in touch.

    K x

    Report
  • Posted

    Hi Sean,

    Stick with it mate and with us! You've already had some great sound advice here so, all that remains to say is keep in touch! There is someone here almost 24/7 as some live in different time zones, but the majority, like me are in, UK.

    You are not alone nor do you no longer have no friends, now you found this bunch!

    Keep in touch.

    regards,

    David

    Report
  • Posted

    Thank you I really needed to hear that, I know I am going to need continuing support and if this is how I get then at least I have some support, which is so appreciated, thanks for taking time out to advise me, sorry for the long story i got on a bit of a rol there, I could of gone on for days I just chose to use the most pain I've been in as an example, everybody has to deal with grief and I know drugs aren't the answer, long term anyway, the doctor should never of put me on so much Valium at the time, I actually had to tell hm to cut it down not the other way round, i was a zombie on like 10 a day now it's 3 and it keeps the anxiety at bay, I actually don't have a problem with that tbh,  but I guess it's not the magic potion I thought and I think me taking it then not taking it is messing with my brain too, (which just entered my head) but its not really the grief anymore it's the little things like not being able to see a friendly face,  my dad and brother, missing out socially lack of a  hug, that type of thing,  there's  no point in me keep going over what's doing my head in, cos it changes hourly, I have to get better or this is literally the end of me, I know that, that's why I joined up on here I am at Rick bottom,  there again ive been to rock bottom before the bottom is endless pit really isn't it? Thanks again, appreciate it, it's a first step, I hope. Xxx
    Report
  • Posted

    I really have suffered with some sort of depression since my teens so really, I should of opened up 25 years ago so  it not as a result of what's happened this last 12years, it's just taken it to a level of darkness I can't control anymore
    Report
  • Posted

    Hey Sean,

    Have you had any thoughts on contacting your Family for support? It can be very difficult for Family or others to understand as they cannot see the injuries we have. If you had a broken limb then it is obvious what is wrong with you! What we have is a sticking plaster for the brain and this med is helping me, I hope it does the same for you.

    So, sometimes we have to be patient and help those who may be able to help us. Trust me it is very difficult unless they have gone through the same or someone close to them has.

    May it be worth dropping them a line? If you do, keep it brief, but to the point so they get an idea. Draft it out completely how you feel, at first, then over time whittle it down to a side no more than two of A4. Just a thought.

    Regards,

    David

    Report
    • Posted

      I think of contacting them all the time David, they are very aware of my situation I'm afraid, through mutual friends,, but I look at it like this, if they don't bother with me when I lost my mum then they aren't going to listen to me telling them I am depressed now, my dad is old school, he cant comprehend it I don't think, he really has no time for me either, never has, so that's a no go, it's just how it is, I can't make someone contact me, if I was in their thoughts they would but they don't, I cant contact them in case of regection or even more worse, silence. I have been through a lot on my own and I will get rough this on my own, but I know a friend right now would make a massive difference to me, someone just to pick up the phone,  or care enough to visit but it ain't happening, thanks mate I know you're right but but my family would just make it worse for me, I just miss them that's all. 
      Report
    • Posted

      Hearing via others means you had no control on what they know now. Okay, you may one day let them just know you miss them. I have a part of my Family very much like that, it is more common than you may know.

      One thing you can have no fear of rejection here! We are here to help.

      I found it a comfort to know that there is someone out there in the ether that hears my prayers (even though they are here in numbers and from this forum!).

      By the way did anyone say Welcome! when you first posted? No, how rude! Welcome Sean!

      David

      Ps as some can testify, I am not always up, but they do out number the downs bit by bit.

      Report
    • Posted

      I would think concentrate on getting yourself through this first, and when you're in a better place you can think about contacting your family and able to deal with it better.

      One step at a time.  And as David says, there is light at the end of that long tunnel.

      K x

      Report
  • Posted

    Sean,

    I know we are a bit out of sync, but nevermind.

    Whether it is what happened in the last 12 years or 25 years you are opening up now and at last! You are beginning to search for the light through the darkness and believe us, there is light at the end of that long dark tunnel!

    Keep in touch you are not alone any more!

    David (and the Forum-ers!)

    Report
  • Posted

    Ok lets put it this way, some people claim cits work within days others like me it,s been 10 weeks now , and still lows and highs. Week 8 when they really started to work, with feelings and glimpses of what, normal feels like.

    Like me 20+ years of bouts of depression, just think 6 months from now where your life could be, not to forget it could be less than 6 months 

    And dont forget, folks on cits that experience no side effects are unlikely to go online and write about it. 

    Now while your on these cits there maybe days you wont want to go out, there will be days where you will just to take your mind off things, breathing technics, and reading are also good distractions.

    Give or take a few months from now, your life will be better, stick with it

    Regard Nick  

     

    Report
    • Posted

      Thanks so much Nick ive really taken on board what you've said il stick with this all the way, much appreciate your help. It has helped to ease the worry.

       

      Report
    • Posted

      No problem mate, were all in the same boat here, and this site has helped me a lot. So drop in and vent off or ask questions and theres fantastic folk on here who will find perspective. And remember our Happyness is inside us, we just lose sight of it, for various reasons. And once we make the decision to find it again, well then its just a matter of time

       

      Report

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion

Report as inappropriate

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up