Alone with citalopram
Posted , 4 users are following.
Hi I don't know where to start really, I was put on citalopram a week ago, I was at the doctors regarding another matter but somehow she coaxed out of me what really is going on, I've been on 3 5mg diazepam a day for 8 years and she wants me off it and I do too but I wasn't having any of it and said they helped me, but, she unlike every other doctor ive seen had all the time in the world for me and I just blurted out I was severely depressed and had been for over 20 years, soon as I told her I could tell she was glad I had finally accepted it and told someone, she couldnt of been anymore understanding, I felt finally I had someone I can trust that can take away this pain I've been in for too long. To cut a long story short 12 years ago when I was 31 my life turned upside down where I had to suddenly move away from home to care for my mum, but she died in my ams after 4 years of me caring for her, as you can expect that took a lot out of me, but I battled through that, alone,.... Along with that Ive lost the girl I love because of this illness I have.
I have retreated into myself so much since, I am a recluse in my home I am scared and alone, beyond going to the shop I pretty much can't go out or work or anything, you see I am away from ALL my friends and family ive no support at all, where I live I don't know anyone well enough to call a friend for support, I've lost touch with friends and my family haven't contacted me in over 4 years, the endless lonelyness and the loss of everything so dear to me now has tipped me over the edge, I am in Isle of Man so it's very had to get to see anyone because of the sea and the cost of travel, at this moment I am really struggling, can't stop crying I am at totally Rock bottom this is Why I told my doc because I've done nothing but thnk of ending the pain lately. I used to thnk I am the strongest person I know but there's only so much a person can take.
Soon as I got home from the chemist I came on here and it's all horror stories and I don't think I can face that, no drug can take away lonelyness and the loss I feel, I am scared I am jumping out the frying pan into the fire, please can someone help me, I need advice because if these are going to make me worse I need to stop them right now, it's hard enough trying to get off Valium without cit making me worse, I am not after sympathy I don't know what I am after I need to speak to someone even if it's just typing on a forum.
0 likes, 17 replies
pat97152 sean74924
Posted
dont despair ..you have a life to lead and the tablets will help..yes they take time for some people to take effect but for others the effect is quite quick
All meds have side effects but the benefits outweigh themerhaps you could do some voluntary work ..this would enable you to meet people
I agree meds don't take away the pain of losing someone..you need to ask for some therapy
if I can be of any help please ask
take care ..there is light at the end of the tunnel
Pat
pat97152
Posted
pat97152
Posted
louise1974 sean74924
Posted
Please dont feel scared of the med. Its been a life saver for me. Years ago my mum had been on valium for ages and really struggled to come off it. She started cit whilst withdrawing and she managed with will power. You may have some side effects, mine was increased anxiety but they are worth it in the long term. Being on meds wont solve all your problems but for me it has given me back my positivity and the ability to look at things with a rational clear head. There are always people on here to chat and give you advice when youre feeling bad xx
katecogs sean74924
Posted
Oh bless you. You've come to the right place here. There's many people who can support you through your depression and help guide you re Citalopram.
I suffered from severe depression and anxiety for about 15 years before I was put onto this type of medication, and it completely changed my life. I recovered and have been well for 15 years now. I couldn't believe it!
I lost both my parents 6 years ago, within weeks of each other. I know how hard it is and without my medication I don't think I could have coped.
It's not an easy ride initially on this medication, but the end result is so worth it. Don't read the horror stories, as each person has different experiences. The side effects can be tricky, but they wear off, and with perseverance and much patience you will find yourself again.
You will get lots of support here, so don't be afraid to ask anything, or post as many times as you want.
Withdraw from Valium very slowly - listen to your doctor too. You sound like you have a great doctor there.
You can do this, and you'll get back to the person you were.
Stay in touch.
K x
David_21660 sean74924
Posted
Stick with it mate and with us! You've already had some great sound advice here so, all that remains to say is keep in touch! There is someone here almost 24/7 as some live in different time zones, but the majority, like me are in, UK.
You are not alone nor do you no longer have no friends, now you found this bunch!
Keep in touch.
regards,
David
sean74924
Posted
sean74924
Posted
David_21660 sean74924
Posted
Have you had any thoughts on contacting your Family for support? It can be very difficult for Family or others to understand as they cannot see the injuries we have. If you had a broken limb then it is obvious what is wrong with you! What we have is a sticking plaster for the brain and this med is helping me, I hope it does the same for you.
So, sometimes we have to be patient and help those who may be able to help us. Trust me it is very difficult unless they have gone through the same or someone close to them has.
May it be worth dropping them a line? If you do, keep it brief, but to the point so they get an idea. Draft it out completely how you feel, at first, then over time whittle it down to a side no more than two of A4. Just a thought.
Regards,
David
sean74924 David_21660
Posted
David_21660 sean74924
Posted
One thing you can have no fear of rejection here! We are here to help.
I found it a comfort to know that there is someone out there in the ether that hears my prayers (even though they are here in numbers and from this forum!).
By the way did anyone say Welcome! when you first posted? No, how rude! Welcome Sean!
David
Ps as some can testify, I am not always up, but they do out number the downs bit by bit.
katecogs sean74924
Posted
One step at a time. And as David says, there is light at the end of that long tunnel.
K x
David_21660 sean74924
Posted
I know we are a bit out of sync, but nevermind.
Whether it is what happened in the last 12 years or 25 years you are opening up now and at last! You are beginning to search for the light through the darkness and believe us, there is light at the end of that long dark tunnel!
Keep in touch you are not alone any more!
David (and the Forum-ers!)
nick21824 sean74924
Posted
Like me 20+ years of bouts of depression, just think 6 months from now where your life could be, not to forget it could be less than 6 months
And dont forget, folks on cits that experience no side effects are unlikely to go online and write about it.
Now while your on these cits there maybe days you wont want to go out, there will be days where you will just to take your mind off things, breathing technics, and reading are also good distractions.
Give or take a few months from now, your life will be better, stick with it
Regard Nick
sean74924 nick21824
Posted
nick21824 sean74924
Posted