Am I falling out of love because of depression or depressed because I'm falling out of love?

Posted , 15 users are following.

I am piggy backing this discussion off of one that I saw was made a few years ago because I'm not so sure how active some of the people I replied to are still. I read multiple stories that were the same of what I am going through and just wanted to see if anything got better for them or someone going through something similar. Here's what going on with me:

I have been with my SO for 2.5 years and engaged for 3 months. This has been the absolute best relationship of my life and I can't imagine my life without him. About two weeks ago, it was like something snapped inside and I'm having all of these negative thoughts about our relationship. I've gone from having the "what if I'm gay" thought to I don't really love him and I'm just convincing myself that I do to I just need to let him go in order to save him from my "crazy" and also maybe if I did let him go it would stop all of this (even though I am sure I would feel worse). In my heart, NONE of these things are true but yet the thoughts are still eating away at me. All I keep thinking is that I just want to go back to two weeks ago when everything was perfect. I am on day three of 10mg of prozac and although I've been told that things are going to get worse before the medicine really starts to make me feel better, I just want to know that my relationship is going to survive and get back to the way it was. Please tell me that this happened for you?

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  • Posted

    If anyone can give me words of encouragement or similar stories, please reply. I'm desperate!

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  • Posted

    Hi megan im really sorry you're going through this. I'm replying as no one else really has and you're probably panicking. I haven't suffered depression but my ex partner has and something that modt depressed people say to their partners at some point is "i love you but im not in love with you". They say this as their feelings for their partners are blocked due to the depression. The symptom is called anhedonia where you lose interest in things and people you used to like. Hang in there. I would kill if my ex partner would have questioned the way he felt because of depression but unfortunately he didn't and he broke up with me and has moved on with someone new very quickly. I'm happy that you have been able to link the way you're feeling with depression. I suggest you get treatment/therapy asap before your mind takes over and convinces you that you're no longer in love with your partner xx

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    • Posted

      I have an appt with a counselor but not for another two weeks as that was the soonest they could get me in. So not only do I have to wait for meds to kick in, I have to wait to be able to talk to someone. 😞 I have been talking to my fiancé about everything and have been open and honest about all of the feelings and thoughts but I know they can't be making him feel very good. He keeps being supportive and reassuring though.

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    • Posted

      Hiya Megan, I am

      Currently experiencing the same thing, after googling things that my mind has been playing hell with me about, I’ve come across your question. I’m just wondering do things get better?? As it would be my worst thought to loose my boyfriend. 

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  • Posted

    Hi Megan it can take up to 6 weeks for the meds to get fully into the system.  My advice is to avoid making any decisions until they kick in properly.  Until they do it is often the case that you feel worse as your doctor should have told you. 

     

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    • Posted

      Yes, she did tell me and I have read that they make you feel worse. I'm trying to hang on to him as much as I can while going through this. I actually had a break down this afternoon and almost broke up with him because that's what the thoughts were telling me to do. I called him and he came home from work and made me feel a bit better.

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  • Posted

    Hang on Megan.  Can you tell your bf how you are feeling?   Or a family member or a friend?   If this is difficult just come in here and tell us.  Things will get better and once the meds fully kick in your head should become clearer. 

    You bf sounds lovely by the way!   smile  x

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    • Posted

      He has been really great and I've been open and honest with him about all of the thoughts and stuff. He has prayed with me, held me while I cried and even stayed home from work today with me after I had a panic attack this morning. My doctor is actually changing my medicine from Prozac to lexapro after I called and told her what was going on. This morning was terrible. I had the panic attack shortly after taking today's pill and then when I stopped crying I felt very weird, lethargic and almost sedated feeling and fell asleep for a little while. I know it was only day four on it and that the worse anxiety and heightened thoughts are a side effect but I guess when I told her what happened today, she felt it better that I change.

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    • Posted

      Hi Megan,

      I know exactly what you are going through. I went on Prozac nearly two years ago and i had a bf. My head was so messed up at the beginning, i told him not to contact me because i was ill and he wld not hve been able to cope with it. I was quite isolated except for two close friends and family, everyone else i just cld not see. However now i am back to normal and am back with my bf and back to normal living. It took 6-8 weeks before i felt normal. I went through hell and back. Meds and cbt counselling helped a great deal for me.

      Hang on in there.

      Good luck with yr relationship. He sounds v supportive and loving. Don't lose him. It's your depression that is making you have irrational thoughts.

      D

      X

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  • Posted

    Hi Megan,

    I would love to hear any updates you may have on your situation as I am going through this exact same thing right now. When I read your message I literally broke down as I thought I was the only person to experience something like this. Would love to hear how you're doing.

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  • Posted

    Hi Megan,

    How are you doing? I went through exactly the same thing last year, and it's still playing havoc with my mind sad hope things are a little clearer for you now x 

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  • Posted

    How did you get on? I'm going through something very similar right now. My fiance of 9 years is feeling like this and has been diagnosed with depression. Please let us know how you are now x

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  • Posted

    Hi megan and everyone im Justin and about 6 months ago my wife left me because and i quote " im not in love with you anymore" she has had depression for 11 yrs and we have been down this path before as she had took herself of her meds but never this long then shortly after i found out she had started see a close friend of ours and they both denied it for a while but it came out.and so i threw her out the house and i now look after our 3 kids and she is living with him in a shared bungalow. Now she went bk on to her meds last November and is now on Venlafaxine everything was fine till my friend started to come round and we would have a few drinks and then one night he came round and i got really drunk and in the morning she told me she doesnt love me any more and that was it this happened in May this yr but since the begining of april she started to drink 1 to 2 stong glasses of wine everynight and i believe this is what coursed it all as her meds wouldnt of been working and they still prop dont as she is still drinking how often i dont know. Thing is we were together for 16urs and i still love her i dont hate her as i believe its her depression doing this and i still want her bk im i being mad but just know this site is here for u x

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  • Posted

    Hello Megan

    I hope you are doing well. I’ve come across this forum and this is all too familiar for me and has followed and haunted me my whole life with relationships. I’m now 35 with no family of my own because this keeps happening to me and I dread I will end up on my own for the rest of my days.  I look at Facebook and I see all of my friends getting married and engaged and having families and I have nothing. I’m actually going through this again now but I have a very supportive partner and I’m getting help too. He’s not giving up on me but everyday is tough since this started. 

    It’s been a while since you’ve written and I’m curious to know how you are progressing hoping that all is well and you can shine some sun light on me and what I’m going through.  

    I found some positive feeds here which made me feel optinistic like there is hope for someone like me and others alike. 

    10 years ago I decided to try a naturopath for my depression and anxiety. It was the best thing I’d done for myself and for the past 10 years I found the best version of me that ever existed! I’ve just recently started this treatment again and whilst being at my best was able to know the difference between bad and good relationships. I know the one I’m in a  very good one. I’m hoping my mental health improves in the coming weeks. Natural medicine also requires a bit of time to work.  If anyone is in Melbourne Australia and is interested in seeing my practitioner please contact me. 

    I hope you are well. Please write back. 

    Lots of love. 

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  • Posted

    I think you are so happy, that cannot deal with it. It's a victim syndrome that you are experiencing. Everyone is seeking for happiness and now you have it. However we are not thought to keep this pleasant feeling. Please try to act normal and rethink your life and how lucky you are 

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