Anal sex after haemorrhoidectomy?
Posted , 42 users are following.
I am a gay man in my late 30s. I have always enjoyed receptive anal sex. For several years, I have suffered from piles. I've had them treated various times but they always came back. The surgeon advised me to have a haemorrhoidectomy, which I did. This was six months ago. The first few months were tough going but then everything started to settle down, and I felt more or less back to normal. Except for sex. I can take something up to a certain, fairly small, girth. Then the pain kicks in. I'm trying to loosen myself up with toys, but it doesn't seem to be working. I'm really worried I may never have a fulfilling sex life again. Grateful for any advice.
3 likes, 60 replies
joey83359 matt70871
Edited
3 Months after the surgery I tried anal sex for the first time and I was bleeding nonstop with an average size. I wish I read this before I had the surgery. but think of this through again, scar don't stretch. it makes perfect sense now!
scott32058 joey83359
Edited
joey, it does get better with time but it is a /very/ long healing process. it really took me about 10 months before i could have sex again and that was only on rare occasions with a little lingering pain afterwards (but nothing like when i had the hemmorhoids. It's now been a little bit less than a year and a half and i fully enjoy sex again although there is still a bit of lingering pain that goes away in a day or two. i'm actually glad i had the operation because i would get pain just from a finger or even eating spicy foods that would last for a week or even longer and i never have that anymore. Just be patient and find enjoyment in other forms of sexual expression for a while. you'll get there eventually
Raoul5 joey83359
Posted
Same thing happened to me right now, did you need to go to the doctor or some drugs fro the bleeding?
joey83359 matt70871
Posted
yes i had haemorrhoidectomy,
thanks for your message. however i have a shadow in my mind now.
updates on my situation, i think the sex i had yesterday tore the scar and It’s extremely painful when you go to toilet and afterward the leaking again.
please dont even try sex after 3 months, and it will put you 2 months back!
mark46784 matt70871
Edited
I'm glad i'm also not the only one. I'm 31 and would like to be able to try anal, but it's too uncomfortable. I can fit like 3 or 4 fingers in after a while, but moving in and out is still painful/extremely uncomfortable. I was told that I have small internal hemorrhoids and that they aren't really big enough to do anything about. It's quite depressing...
I've heard about a process called Transanal hemorrhoidal dearterialization (THD), which sounds interesting. Has anyone here had that procedure done?
dawnxo matt70871
Posted
hello, im a 30 year old female and im getting married this year, my dr told me i should have the hemmoridectomy, during the consultation i told him i really really want to be aboe to do anal on my honeymoon and actually enjoy it without these pesky things on my ass lol so i had the surgery 14 days ago, im typing this from a hot bath because i feel like ive birthed a child 3 times a day for 14 days strait lol this procedure has not been easy, my dr told me while i could have anal on my honeymoon thats a little over 6 months away, but he said it really takes a whole year to properly heal from this surgery and be able to do things like that again
preppyesque matt70871
Posted
I also have that problem. It's been several years now since my banding procedure and I still can't get anything very big in (and I've tried).
After the banding procedure, the Dr. said he had to use 3 bands on me (I was used to having a wild sex life and used quite big toys), but since then I've tried everything to loosen up and just can't. I've used anal training tools, etc., but still cannot get the size I'd like to go in. Will it EVER loosen up? I've begun to think that the Dr. inserted something on purpose to prevent me from enjoying anal ever again (can they even do that?). But the bands came out (I saw it).
Why would it be THIS tight? I wasn't even this tight before I ever DID anything anal. If I can't get toys in, then I will NEVER be able to enjoy a man again, and I am SO upset, as I LOVED anal.
NurseKen matt70871
Posted
I am a 34 year old gay male and had a hemorrhoidectomy along with electrocauterization and band ligation. Ive had a difficult time trying to bottom and have had tongo back for a few follow up internal bandings again. My dr has told me that i can return to normal sexual activity with my partner and it has been extremely difficult. I am a verse gay man and live to bottom but it has been really difficult to do so since my surgery and i am feeling as if I will never have a fulfilling sex life again. Reading everyones posts has given me some hope about returning back to normal after several months and practice.
joey83359 matt70871
Posted
its been over 2 yrs Since the my surgery and its still not healed fully and my dr said the The scar tissues can never stretch as normal. so I would not recommend anybody to take the surgery unless if its 110% necesssary. it wont go back to normal guys. just keep this in mind.
Danhorski matt70871
Posted
I have done my surgery about 5 month ago and tried to bottom today but it does feel like I have tear my scar or skin a bit and it was bleeding too.Its weird because i do feel like my skin around anus are tight but still can even put 2 fingers without issue but taking in it painfull. I'm not sure if i should try butt plugs at this point because as read here scars are not flexible....Anyone experienced bleeding after first time trying and have you guys recovered from it,using butt plugs or something else?
jvf2117 matt70871
Posted
Hello, I am a 31 year old gay man. For the first time I am dealing with a hemorrhoid, I believe it was caused by straining after a 3 day constipation caused by a medicine I had to take. It's internal, I am not in pain but feel it when passing stool, feel like a little burn that lingers for a couple seconds once done with the BM. I started exploring about treatments, I am possible not in need for surgery yet and hope that will recover to 100% normal soon (It's been a month). I have abstained from sex, and it has progressed only on the 3rd week to feel better and see less and less blood on stool. I thank you all for sharing your stories with surgeries for hemorrhoids because no one talks about this issue in the gay community.
I feel right now lime I am retraining to know how to have a bowel movement by relaxing completely and not push at all, but I am now afraid I won't know how to have anal. Could you guys (Matt and anyone else) please share any experience you had when first dealing with hemorrhoids? I want to avoid hurting myself further and needing a procedure. If you guys would like to exchange numbers to chat, I would appreciate it. I feel like I am alone dealing with this and it has made me very depressed, and reject having sex. Thanks for replying.
dale99867 matt70871
Posted
hi matt, i'm in the same situation. im 14 weeks post op. i can take up to a small girth but then i get a burning pain, i'm unable to have sex. did yours get better because im very anxious i wont be able to have or enjoy sex again.
el1812 dale99867
Posted
Hi All,
I am 4 weeks post haemorrhoidectomy (using Ligasure scalpel) for three 'very large' 4th Grade horrors. There was no option to escape the op, and I am very glad I did it. It went well, the specialist colorectal surgeon did a great job saving my (not many left) healthy tissues between the incisions and not damaging sphincters. I didn't need codeine after just two 1/2 days, although BMs are still uncomfortable despite I continue taking Movicol plus fibre and water.
Now I have my life back, except....the rectum has started to narrow down, soft poo is about 18 mm width. Which is apparently very common after the op for such advanced grades, or if not much of healthy tissue was left by the surgeon etc.
The most symptoms (post op side effects) we discuss here have the elements of stenosis and anal fissues, which are actually apparently easy preventable with self dilation of simple medical Dilatan dilators which have special gel inside (please search medical article below - no links are allowed at the forum):
"Self-Mechanical Anal Dilatation: A Simple Trick to Minimize Postoperative Pain and Stenosis Following Hemorrhoidectomy"
And please search these (there are medical dilators by other companies as well, but without the cryothermic gel inside)
DILATES SAPI MED CRYOTHERMIC ANAL DILATORS
They are cryo-thermal anal dilators made in 3 different caliber sizes: 20, 23 and 27mm.
DILATAN® dilators consist of an inert plastic casing.
DILATAN® is a CE marked medical device
Characteristics:
Able to bring benefits in pathological affections such as: constipation, stenosis of scarring origin from idiopathic fissure, hypertonicity sustained by hemorrhoids, proctalgia. In spasm it is always indicated the use of the dilator to the large extent. The smaller sizes are indicated in anal strictures.
In cryotherapy the dilator cools down in the fridge not below 0 ° C.
In thermotherapy, the dilator must be applied hot not above 50 ° C.
Set of 3 measures Ø mm. 20-23-27
There is also a good cream for reducing anal spasms Diltiazem 2% (Nifedipine acting ingredient), usually for anal fissures or some good surgeons prescribe it after operation to speed healing)
Guys, please don't regret doing the op 'earlier', these horrid hems are only getting bigger, making the operation at later date much more complicated! I waited far too long, regrettably. Now I am trying to order Dilatan (not easy from UK) to prevent further narrowing (and I do not want a surgical anal dilation either)
Hope these ideas might help someone to have a happy sex life (and quite soon according to the medical study - just in 35 days). Wishing everyone a very speedy recovery!
david42027 matt70871
Posted
Like a few others on here, I have trouble receiving anal sex since I had skin tags removed. I have had subsequent colonoscopies which revealed no internal issue.
Has anyone had any success with any form of corrective surgery?
Would anoplasty be of any benefit?
Please help!
billyB273 matt70871
Posted
I am a gay man, I'm 21 which apparently is a rare age to get haemorrhoids. Ive always been into bottoming, but now post haemorrhoid banding I'm frightened by the idea of having sex again, it has only been three weeks since I had the procedure. All the bands fell out, but I think they may have left some scarring which kind of scares me, and the haemorrhoid vain covering my prostate has gotten really hard and I do not get any pleasure when trying stuff. It's this thick hard bumpy line, and I do not know whether it will be pleasant for my partner and I'm kind of freaking out. I know it has not been very long but there is no pain any more and I am worried it will stay this way. please help.