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And the struggle continues...

Posted , 5 users are following.

david48602
david48602

I worry that there is something wrong with me, something serious; I worry that I am going to suffer as a cause of said something, and I worry that said something will eventually take my life. At the moment, the things I am worried most about are brain tumors, MS, and Motor Neurons Disease, also known as ASL. I have been a member on here for a while now, so people have probably seen my posts and have seen how anxious I get. 

There are times where my arms feel weak and tingly; I have constant pain in my right shoulder. I feel I am getting forgetful; I don't feel as sharp as I used to be. I'm a writer, so there are times where I sit to write and I get so frustrated because I literally cannot get my thoughts down. It's as if I know what I want to say, but the words just won't come to me. There are times where I have caught myself drooling ever so slightly out of the corner of my mouth, or accidentally spitting when I am talking; I am just generally doing silly things. I'm always yawning, though I don't necessarily feel tired. My muscles twitch regularly - my eyelids, my temple, my legs and thighs, my upper-arms.

I just don't know what is wrong with me, but the fear is very real. I go to sleep each night knowing that it's all going to start again the next day. I'm just a mess - is this all down to anxiety, and if so then how can one condition be so cruel?

0 likes, 23 replies

23 Replies

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  • isabel21513
    isabel21513 david48602

    Posted

    Hi David, question, are u in any medication?. 
    • isabel21513
      isabel21513 david48602

      Posted

      Hi again, they are side effects, how long have you beeing taking it?. I'm on Sertraline 50mg, and had similar symptoms at the beginning, not as dramatic, thank God. But they were horrendous, they are easing off now very gradually, day by day. I'm not familiar with your med. but if you feel so bad, check with your doc. Perhaps you need something else. 

      All the best xx

    • david48602
      david48602 isabel21513

      Posted

      I'm still relatively new to it - I think I'm reaching the 2 month period, maybe a little bit longer. Which side effects in particular did you experience?
  • nattalie36373
    nattalie36373 david48602

    Posted

    I'm not experiencin the same symtoms, however mine are just as horrible. I keep thinking I'm just gonna keel over and die one day, I don't even make future plans anymore and it's scary. I just learned my sister is pregnant and the first thing I thought was 'Omg what if I don't even live to meet the baby?'

    My arms hurt sometimes, my elbow hurts constantly. My leg sometime hurt when I touch it, like there's a sore spot on it. But it always goes away on its own and then another area on my body starts hurting.

    It's the random pain that makes me think I have cancer that has spread all over.

    I sometimes feel itchy, I get head rushes, underarm pain, chest tenderness, ringing in my ears, yawn non-stop and the list goes on.

    I'm also a writer and I've been writing alot recently. Other than that I feel overwhelmed alot, I have a very short fuse, cry easily. I've been depressed for years but anxiety started 5months ago. I also signed on here as this is my only support system. My gf dumped me and I'm crashing in a friend's basement so my life sucks a ton right now. Just what depression and anxiety need, right?

    • david48602
      david48602 nattalie36373

      Posted

      I'm a very emotional person, but I cry very easily as well. It doesn't take much at all to set me off. Sometimes, though, these weird symptoms come on when I don't feel anxious. Like, I'll be sitting in my room, totally comfortable, watching a movie, so when something happens, my immediate thought is 'but I'm not anxious, so why is this happening?!'
  • Lolasmom
    Lolasmom david48602

    Posted

    Hello David,

    So sorry to hear of your troubles. Gosh it does sound like anxierty. We both know what our symptoms can do to us. When you mentioned your legs and twitching. Is this just little twitches you can see or do your legs move and juump like jerking? Mine have been doing the jerking thing and sometimes my arms too. My legs feel rubbery and it is hard to walk  along with being off balance So upsetting.

     I often question is anxiety doing this or is this someting else,,,,,,,,

    • david48602
      david48602 Lolasmom

      Posted

      It's more like tiny muscle twitches; I can see the muscle pulse slightly below my skin, but it's not to the extent that my entire leg or arm twitches.
  • lisalisa67
    lisalisa67 david48602

    Posted

    Forget about asl you are way too young and not happening. It just doesnt occur in the young, MS presents differently. I never even heard of the other one you mentioned. Can your  mediciation be doing this? self medicating yourself with anything? Are actively in therapy? You know by now you have an anxiety disorder and you know odd symptoms come and go. Anything you focus on will basically become a symptom. Knowing that work on self calming stuff. Get outside and sit out there and get some fresh air and sun for at least an hour. It is important to feel good. Stop completely wasting your time in googling ailments, you over strectching realty with many of the diseases you mention, so stop trying to find fake answers. Accept whats hapoening to you so you can work on correcting it or managing it.I dont remeber your diagnoses. I can see panic disorder and ocd and health anxiety. You need to start yourself in a program now. Choose one. You are like a sponge and you absorb what you hear, see and read so keep it all positive for yourself. Im going to guess if someone sat and noted their illness by night fall you have every symptom they noted. It happens, it absolutely happens with anxiety. Its so important to be in cbt or therapy for you.  You need to be very sure you have a time if day to be free of all this. Gift it to yourself. Even if you start it at one hour. Go out, or have friends over play board game, watch a comedy but do something other then focusing on your body symptoms all the time. Okay? You need that break
    • david48602
      david48602 lisalisa67

      Posted

      Which one is it that you're unaware of?

      ALS, as far as I know, can affect pretty much anybody. I'm not self-medicating, though I take prescribed Mirtazapine. I'm on the waiting list for CBT, but haven't had any other kind of therapy in the meantime. Everything else you said, though, pretty much summed me up.

    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 david48602

      Posted

      No als wont and doesnt effect the young. Its 40 plus group. Even if familial meaning a family member has it it brings it to five percent. Its isnt catchy either. Als isnt something you honestly need to worry about. That should comfort you. What you read and what is real dont always corrolate.that im positive.i dont want you to worry about something that is 99.99.99 impossible for you to have. MS I think crosses everyone minds but it just presents differently. but i know many fear that.idk what motor nueron disease is. I ask if you self medicate because some people do that using drugs or alcohol and that can cause a lot of problems. Im glad you dont. I hope the cbt works well for you. I know the fear is real and i know its self preservation to try and figure it out but its a disorder. A horrible, unfair, cruel disorder. It isnt that nothing is wrong here, the disorder is real. When they say anxiety they shouldnt its not some drop of the hat normal anxiety at all. Its panic disorder and probably has traumatized you by now, it is hard to live with this but it is manageable most of the time. You will get the knowledge to handle it you are clearly smart and read a lot. Read up on cbt, mindfullness, the actual biological ohysiolocial experience of a oanic attack.the sciene aspect. The twitches and spasms is stress related you need to keep very hydrated and eat high magnesiium foods.avacadoes, bananas..etc.. Hugh magnessium and high potassium. Very healthy for anyone who has a lot of stress. All these panic attacks and stress depletes the body and its hard on the body to keep going thriugh these cycles. That why many say to eat well balanced and keep hydrated..its so your body can bounce back quickly.  I always forget the uk has waiting lists. Sorry about that. 
    • david48602
      david48602 lisalisa67

      Posted

      ALS and Motor Neurones Disease is the same thing, just different names. I think, in the States, people use the name ALS, whereas in the UK we call it Motor Neurones Disease. 
    • david48602
      david48602 lisalisa67

      Posted

      The sooner I get this CBT, Lisa, the better. I suppose the thing I really want to know is - does the anxiety ever truly go away? Is it with me for the rest of my days?
    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 david48602

      Posted

      Hard to really answer david. It depends on different factors. You cant worry about the rest of your life. When you begin the cbt put your heart into it, be very diligent with it, practice it..embrace it wholeheartedly. What you put into you will get out of it. It requires a lot of you. You can get a jump start and just take a look at some cbt videos on utube. I would strongly suggest learning mindfullness breathing as well.  I do believe within the next decade with all the new technology out there they will figure this all out and either create a medicine that truely works in reversing it all back to its natural state or if its some virus thing cure it. So stay strong and for now cbt. Look ulcers were known as psychosomatic, stress caused and mocked turned out to be a H pylori  bacteria. Took a long time for someone to figure it out, Theres hope. 
    • david48602
      david48602 lisalisa67

      Posted

      I don't think I have ever said this before, Lisa, but along with a few other members on here, you have and still are a massive help to me. You have replied to quite a few of my posts and you're always so informative, yet sympathetic and compassionate, and there have been times where I have felt down and out, and reading the replies that you have written have made me feel better. I'm sure by now, whenever you see I have written a post, you're like "oh, here we go again", haha. I'm just so sick of my body being tense and stiff and sore, of weak and tingling limbs, of my body playing tricks on me - it never lets up, even for a second. I hope the CBT helps. 
    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 david48602

      Posted

      We are all in this together. And i have faith we will all pass through this as well. Keep the hope in your soul. Just really pour yourself into the cbt. I dont judge anyone. This forum is so you can vent or rant and release all the fears. Thats what i use it for too. Thank you for your kind words.
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