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Anger & Depression From Anxiety?

Posted , 5 users are following.

kayla1865
kayla1865

I'm not sure what to do about this anymore... I'm 18-years old for those of you, who don't already know. I'd appreciate it if I didn't get called "immature" much. Thanks.

Anyways, I've been anxious lately and I've had migraines out the yin yang! I don't know why I've been having migraines, pretty much everyday. And I'm dealing with OCD (mainly harm). I've already been depressed, off and on, since my dad passed away when I was 9. I've been irritating those around me, apparently. Namely, my family and my boyfriend. With everything I have going on, they just find it a nuisance. I have about 3 people with whom I talk to about my problems everyday. Those people are my 3 best friend's (that doesn't include my boyfriend or any family member).

You would think that since I'm struggling so much, and in pain, I would have more family members - not necessarily feeling bad for me - who are there for me. I don't have support here. I'm just looked at as in immature child, who needs to get over her problems. I break down, because I feel like everything is too much.

Now that I have proper transportation again, I'm looking for jobs. Honestly, I didn't want to do it, until I got these problems taken care of. Is that immature? Lazy? I'm not sure anymore. The only reasons why I'm so adimate about getting a job, is because for one, I want to succeed in life and that's a good step. For two, I really need to find my own place. I can't be here much longer with all of these people, making me feel like I'm inadeuate, but at the same time, expecting me to poop rainbows out my a**.

I get irritated with my aunt, especially. First of all, she is almost 40 and living with her sister. We have a total of 9 people living in this house. That's just too many people! This woman has been looking to men for support, her entire life! She doesn't have ANY of her children, and she has 3 girl's. One of them is going to a foster home right now, mind you. She abused her kids. And you know what? She's always b****ing at me about everything... But no one says anything to her. When I actually decided to say something back, I'm the immature brat. I don't understand it.

I lay in my bed at night and cry myself to sleep, most nights. I just can't take it anymore. I've never thought about ending my life, SO MUCH. It's beginning to sound better and better, everyday.

I'm not sure why I'm even writing this... I guess, I just feel hopeless.

0 likes, 19 replies

19 Replies

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  • michaelall35712
    michaelall35712 kayla1865

    Posted

    Regardless of what is going on in the house you live in, and how your relatives treat you.  What are you to deal with your emotional disorders?  Are you seeking professional help? Seeing a doctor? Considering medication? Sounds like once you get your emotions under control, that you need to leave the enviroment that your living in.  Having an emotional diorder, which I know first hand.  You need to part of the solution and not part of the problem. 
  • lynne82155
    lynne82155 kayla1865

    Posted

    Hey Thats what this forum is for.I can relate to what you are saying.

    I have just changed medication and until I get that sorted I am not looking for work at the moment,it means money for me is very tight as I am on my own but I want to get myself better and not just patch myself up.I dont want to start work whilst the new meds kick in(well I cant actually leave the house at the moment with them) start a job and end up letting people down and making my condition worse.

    I have worked all my life through my depression but the side effects from anxiety are something else

    Dont beat yourself up about thing and do things at your own pace.

    Try some therapy or a support group

    Stay Strongcheesygrin

    So I totally understand what you are saying

  • elizabeth2244
    elizabeth2244 kayla1865

    Posted

    Hi kayla sorry you are going through this with your family. You would think that family should support you and not put you down mentally because they are your boyfriend, thats what i always thought with my family they don't really support me accept for my sister and brother once in a while. 

    You say you are 18 can't you move out of the house and go to college. This will help you suceed in life. Get away from your family and do something that will help you in life. 

    It seems like your family don't really care about how you are feeling and this hurts you emotionally thats what it did to me when my mom did the same thing putting me down mentally. 

    You have to seek coucelling to overcome your emotions and get away from your boyfriend and family and be around positive people 

    Good luck

    Elizabeth

  • Guest
    Guest kayla1865

    Posted

    I'm simiar. are you new to anxiety?
    • kayla1865
      kayla1865 Guest

      Posted

      I kind of think you would consider me to be new to anxiety. I'm not so sure. Severe anxiety has been a big issue for me, since November of last year. But I've had anxiety since my dad passed away, and I'm not sure if it was around much before that... I always had subtle anxiety, most of the time. I didn't experience a panic attack, until October, when I tried a psychedelic. I didn't think it would give me one, and I wasn't really scared, either. I smoked pot, for a month after that, and then after that, during this one night of smoking in November, I got a panic attack that much, much like the one I got when I had a bad trip the month before. I'm never touching a psychedelic EVER AGAIN.
    • Guest
      Guest kayla1865

      Posted

      I totally get it. I've had anxiety for years, but I beat it for nearly 5 years. Then, a really good friend of mine passed away at age 29, and it really messed me up. Pot has also caused anxiety in me. Good job avoid psychedelics!

      What makes you feel calm and less andious?

    • kayla1865
      kayla1865 Guest

      Posted

      Honestly, hardly anything makes me calm anymore. Hot baths sort of help, and so do cartoons.
    • Guest
      Guest kayla1865

      Posted

      that's good.

      have you tried to focus on those things more to stay calm?

    • Guest
      Guest kayla1865

      Posted

      do you have a therapist or counsellor or someone who can help?
    • kayla1865
      kayla1865 Guest

      Posted

      I'm going to see my GP in an hour or so. I'm getting a referall..
    • Guest
      Guest kayla1865

      Posted

      let us know how it goes, we're all here to help!

      if you ever need anything, post on here or feel free to send me a PM.

      You are not alone.

      Good luck and all the best!

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