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Anger & Depression From Anxiety?

Posted , 5 users are following.

kayla1865
kayla1865

I'm not sure what to do about this anymore... I'm 18-years old for those of you, who don't already know. I'd appreciate it if I didn't get called "immature" much. Thanks.

Anyways, I've been anxious lately and I've had migraines out the yin yang! I don't know why I've been having migraines, pretty much everyday. And I'm dealing with OCD (mainly harm). I've already been depressed, off and on, since my dad passed away when I was 9. I've been irritating those around me, apparently. Namely, my family and my boyfriend. With everything I have going on, they just find it a nuisance. I have about 3 people with whom I talk to about my problems everyday. Those people are my 3 best friend's (that doesn't include my boyfriend or any family member).

You would think that since I'm struggling so much, and in pain, I would have more family members - not necessarily feeling bad for me - who are there for me. I don't have support here. I'm just looked at as in immature child, who needs to get over her problems. I break down, because I feel like everything is too much.

Now that I have proper transportation again, I'm looking for jobs. Honestly, I didn't want to do it, until I got these problems taken care of. Is that immature? Lazy? I'm not sure anymore. The only reasons why I'm so adimate about getting a job, is because for one, I want to succeed in life and that's a good step. For two, I really need to find my own place. I can't be here much longer with all of these people, making me feel like I'm inadeuate, but at the same time, expecting me to poop rainbows out my a**.

I get irritated with my aunt, especially. First of all, she is almost 40 and living with her sister. We have a total of 9 people living in this house. That's just too many people! This woman has been looking to men for support, her entire life! She doesn't have ANY of her children, and she has 3 girl's. One of them is going to a foster home right now, mind you. She abused her kids. And you know what? She's always b****ing at me about everything... But no one says anything to her. When I actually decided to say something back, I'm the immature brat. I don't understand it.

I lay in my bed at night and cry myself to sleep, most nights. I just can't take it anymore. I've never thought about ending my life, SO MUCH. It's beginning to sound better and better, everyday.

I'm not sure why I'm even writing this... I guess, I just feel hopeless.

0 likes, 19 replies

19 Replies

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  • lisalisa67
    lisalisa67 kayla1865

    Posted

    You are in a temporary living situation, toxic people suck. Only people who have experienced a panic attack will understand its terror. Your aunt might not know love herself to even display it herself. Nothing to do with immaturity at all. Dont let any of them define you love. So many dont or cant get the support they need. Try and look for a low anxiety job. Google them so you know what they are. That way you will succeed as it seems you have more then enough stress in your world. Good luck and feel better. 
    • kayla1865
      kayla1865 lisalisa67

      Posted

      Yeah, I understand. That makes sense. I applied to several places. One place looks promising. It's Mexican restaurant, and I applied to be a waitress there. What's really great is, I had a good feeling about that place and decided to see if they were hiring and well...there's a waitress there, who's going to med school in a couple of weeks! It's also, not that big of a restaurant, so I won't be too overwhelmed. (:
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