Angry husband/intermittent explosive disorder “IED”
Posted , 19 users are following.
Angry husband/intermittent explosive disorder “IED”
I would like to know if anyone is experiencing issues with their husband and him having an explosive Incredible Hulk like reaction to something very minor. I have been going through this with my husband for quite some time but it keeps escalating and he won’t get counseling. We were on the highway a couple weeks ago and he got angry because we forgot to use these coupons at Home Depot and literally in the middle of the highway he hit the brakes, crossed the lane without even checking, made an illegal U-turn and almost jumped in oncoming traffic. And then he tried to act like he didn’t do anything wrong. He is also a gas lightwe and has some narcissist tendencies. thank God for Pinterest, I found out what narcissism and gaslighting is all about. And it’s making him furious that he’s losing control and that I caught on ti all his BS. I do have to say this may sound contradictory he is a good and kind person but he’s got this serious serious problem and I can’t deal with it any longer. Both of our names are on the house and he doesn’t want to sell, that’s the only thing holding me back from leaving. I'm scared ...sad confused ...and feel very lonely and isolated. going through menopause has made it much more difficult. I find myself most days staring out into the sky and crying wondering what I’m gonna do. I wish there was a team of people that facilitated helping you leave someone. I survived a very damaging childhood and when you survive that you really don’t have a toolbox to address something like this and it’s very painful.
3 likes, 39 replies
Jaynie12 lisa95354
Edited
sounds like hes emoitional abusing and very controlling...i have been in and out of those kind of relationships now that im goung throygh this i cant handle anymore. i am presantly trying to get out of yet anothet abusive and controlling relationship only to be told im the one leaving the othet high and dry and i font care and blah blah. i can only suggest you find a domestic violence shelter or a counsellar then file a stay away order which will give u the house until a court date. from.thete if u go to duvorce counselling he can either sell the hoyse or buy you out that with alimony youll be able to tske care of yourself. no one needs to be on pins and neefles ir be subjected to someones chilish tamptrems ..u deserve peace and not be affraid of those outbursts or let alone endangering ur life over a stupid coupon..sorry the spell check has a mind of its own.
lisa95354 Jaynie12
Posted
Hey Jaynie, this never happened like this until we were hit by a tornado a couple years ago, we both have PTSD and it amped it up 10,000%. The strange thing is he’s controlling and someways but he’s not really a controlling person, but yes the mind games it’s ridiculous, his father was that way! I did speak to the shelter when that happened but I don’t want to do the order protection because I don’t want him to lose his job. I know that may sound pathetic but I still want the best for him, but he needs to wake up and smell the coffee, because I’m not leaving the house again, it’s his psychotic temper that’s causing the main issues. If we do separate I am never dating again, ever! I'm not sure if it’s the spellcheck on our phones or the website. it’s just too much work and I don’t have the strength or patience for it anymore. I just didn’t know if anyone else was having issues like this, during this time. I am sorry you have had difficulties as well. I think men are just big fat babies, in general. They just treat us as extensions of their mommies! Yes they end up blaming us for everything like they’re five years old. Thank you for sharing and replying 😉 is anybody else having problems with this website duplicating when you dictate, it will duplicate whole paragraphs ! thank you again 😃
kelly55079 lisa95354
Posted
Yes mine is a kid that needs a mom!!
nancys21 lisa95354
Posted
My ex was like that. He is 8 years younger than I, and looking back now, I'm pretty sure peri was the main reason we didn't stay together. I didn't even think about dating for 2 years after our divorce. I had no desire to focus on anyone else but my son.
susane84679 lisa95354
Posted
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this on top of everything else but please don't put all men in the same category because of the actions of a few.. I would not be able to cope without the love and support of my husband. he is not perfect by any means but he is with me 100% in this thing called perimenopause. he has taken the time to research and read so that he does understand what I may feel like on any given day and picks up the slack when I can't do it. he makes me laugh when all I want to do is cry, gives me encouragement on a daily basis and not once has he made me feel any less of a partner because of this hell we are in together. my wish is that all of you ladies could have a man like him. Blessings to all!
lisa95354 susane84679
Edited
WELL SUSANE ....WE ALL DONT HAVE, allegedly, MEN LIKE 'THAT'! So please don’t condescend! I can guarantee you ...that maybe 10% of the men that we are all with... 'read up' on anything we are going through, honey. you sound like one of those spoiled women, who sits on her you know what and does absolutely nothing and is spoiled rotten, I bet your husband probably makes what 2 million a year, sit back and please be quiet ! I’m usually a very positive person, but please ... back it up like a Tonka truck, with your 'great husband' scenario ! And I’m not grouping all men into that!!!!! get woke stay woke Susie ! LIke YOU so carelessly said!!! So please ...read again! I have never been annoyed on this website.. until you, and your husband 'hero' worship syndrome... BS ! Consider SUSIE ...what everyone’s going through.. as well ..honey ! How long you been married, how old are you.. how much are you around your husband, how much is he around you ?!?!?! I could write a rap song on your BS ! take your husband and worship syndrome and get some therapy !!!
lisa95354 susane84679
Edited
You really are unnerving Susie, this is a forum for WOMEN, empowering women. not some phony BS you’re spewing ! You are so annoying, I was reaching out, airhead, feeling heartbroken and looking for help, YOU, susie, seriously need to get some therapy, you are probably in the same situation I am in, and you’re trying to make it butterflies and rainbows and blueberry pies, get it together ! I can read BS from a mile away, honey, and I sniff you out big time ! I am an incredible person, but when someone starts shooting out BS, my detector is up and ready, and you are full of BS, Susie !! What ...does your husband... read these sites and initiate you to go against women?!?! because that’s what you did, I am having a difficult time and you need to watch what you say to other women on women’s help Forums! go on some ass kissing 'man site' instead, Susie !
lisa95354 nancys21
Posted
I get you Nancy, and thank God you focused on your son ( heart emoji) I understand what you mean, it’s all such a blur, where it starts ..where it ends .. 😃 I really truly believe God has a method for the madness, but I really don’t feel that we should have to experience all this madness 😉
Takingtime susane84679
Edited
Hi Susane, I think it is wonderful that you have such a wonderful fella, that would be a bonus while going through the menopause journey.I don't think that you read Lisa's post all the way through, she was not putting man kind down, she was reaching out for help and support as she is in a rough place in her marriage. Talking about how great your marriage is and what a wonderful supportive husband you have is great, but not what the post was talking about, and I would think would add salt to the wound. Just imagine going through menopause and having someone raging at you or to you. With all the love and support you get you could use that to not only appreciate what you have but reach out and say stay strong, we are here for you.
susane84679 lisa95354
Edited
it was not ment to condescend anyone. let me tell you a little something about me since you asked.. I've been married for 25 yrs, I am 51 yrs old and no, my husband does not make 2 million a year, he's a police officer. I see him everyday and wonder if it's the last so do not presume to know me or my life! and if you think I'm spoiled because my husband loves me, then hell yes, I'm spoiled rotten! as I said, i am sorry you are dealing with the crap you are but you are way out of line to respond the way you did. i was not throwing my relationship in your face, I was simply stating that not all men are the same. just because you are miserable and dealing with things no one should have to deal with does not give you the right to condemn others. I really hope you get the help you need because if you will attack a complete stranger like you have, I can only imagine how you talk to your husband. your reaction to my post says a lot about you as a person and has nothing to do with menopause.
nancys21 lisa95354
Posted
Thank you, Lisa. I totally agree! This is hell on earth! I hope you know that you're not alone. You have been such a help to me!
Beverlys1 susane84679
Edited
Well Sue if you do not like the conversation you can choose to keep you opinion to yourself,,, this is a positive forum and we would like to keep it that way,,,, End of story,,,,,,
lisa95354 Takingtime
Posted
Takingtime...Thank you very much;)
lisa95354 Beverlys1
Posted
BeverlyS1... Thank you very much, she’s trying to make me feel ashamed I even opened my mouth about my situation.... not gonna happen 😃 I brought it up because I thought menopause, and what a very difficult struggle it has been, in the last 12+ years, is what changed him. That’s why I tied it into this forum. Thank you again for your wise words;)
lisa95354 nancys21
Posted
XXX 😉
heather29740 susane84679
Edited
I totally agree with you saying you don't deserve the abusive way you were talked to.
I would also say that if she spoke to her husband the way she spoke to you a complete stranger, he would maybe sit up and .listen.
My husband is not one of those men that read up about menopause, most of them aren't they read up about football, and most of the time he's a pain in the ass, the grumpy old bugger, the snappy driver but other times incredibly wonderful.
Seriously no need to verbally attack someone like that.
susane84679 heather29740
Edited
thank you heather. I did not mean any disrespect to her. I can understand her anger and frustration at her situation but that was completely uncalled for. I. I was not in any way trying to make her feel bad about anything. her attack on me was not a normal reaction , maybe she was just having a really rotten day but either way there is no excuse for her verbally abusing someone like that. and for others to condone it is mind boggling.
Takingtime
Edited
Susanne, I can not speak for someone else, but I think from looking in when someone is coming on here hurting because they are in an abusive relationship and wanting some comfort, and someone goes on on how wonderful their partner is and how perfect their life could have been if they were you. Sometimes when people want comfort thats what they need. There was no question on here on how many husbands research menopause or love them more than anything. Your remark though not meant to hurt came off as well thats too bad your going through that because my husband is the best! To someone hurting its like stepping on them when they are down. Sometimes the comfort comes from others who are going through the same thing which it sounds to me you are not......so there really was no need to even comment on this particular post unless you were offering encouragement. I am not condoning the reaction, but I can see where it would upset and already hurting person.Sometimes just listening and encouraging and offering comfort is the most helpful. ❤