Another world

Posted , 13 users are following.

Just observing the world today, and how everyone interacts and is full of 'normal'..

doing, playing, eating, talking, carrying on.

I know weve gone over this many times, but i just cant get over how 'not a part' of this world i feel.

I personally feel lik'e im being haunted. my rational mind of course knows its all in my mind/hormones..

but my head is in another place, another space, like ive been abducted or something.

and not by very nice aliens...

ive had a few good days, but anything sets me into a tailspin of anxiety, darkness ..all emotionally based and completely irrational. (at least im aware that its irrational and not real)

My coping skills get low whether its from lack of sleep or something thats happened with my boys, or something serious.. i get scared and go into survival mode..i think of my boys, and how i need to press on, and how they deserve the whole me, and are not getting that.

im  fearful i cant keep going,and 

invariably..i keep going.

just shouting out from 'menospace' to say hi..to you great ladies.

xoxox

 

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  • Posted

    I hate that feeling! I had it really bad last year and still get it every once in awhile. It's such an odd sensation. I'm still not sure what causes it. Now when I get it, it's more like I get this strange head feeling and the it's like my eyes have to catch up and don't really focus even though my eyesight isn't affected! It also feels kinda like I'm moving in slower motion than others around me! But I know I'm not! It's hard to explain. I recall having similar feelings when my first son was a newborn. He had horrible colic and I was a zombie. Maybe that's part of the cause.... erratic sleep schedule and wonky hormones!  

    I admire all you ladies that are doing this with kids still at home! My hats off to you!! 

    Xoxo

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  • Posted

    I've withdrawn a lot socially. I see life going but Im not in it as such, just like a silent observer.

    In between twitching, burning, insomnia and eveything else physically, the anxiety and the weirdfeeling of, yes, being like an alien while everyone else looks normal.

    I try and put on a good front in between emotional meltdowns so I dont push away family.

    Every test ive had (still have to see neurologist ) has been normal bar hormones, but I feel so abnormal .

    Im trying to visualise a "normal " future and being normal in it. I tell myself this will be temporary and not for life .

    It's tough though . Reading other women's similar experiences helps.

    Hang in there, you're not really alone in how you feel. X

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    • Posted

      Thank you  Gwenn and Audra for your response, its a bit overwhelming sometimes. 

      I really appreciate the support. Crazy storm im in and it just keeps on and on. 

      xoxox

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  • Posted

    As you know I'm much better than I was but I definitely know the feeling. It's of not belonging. Not belonging here or there or anywhere. I would feel like running away until my logical mind stepped in to tell me that I can't run away from me.

    I would serve customers at work and think what are these people? I shouldn't be here. But I shouldn't be anywhere right now so I have to just be.

    I always knew it was hormones but belive me I had moments when I questioned everything. This has been the longest hardest journey of my life and to some extent the journey continues..........................

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    • Posted

      Thanks for the response !

      No belonging, displaced. Not fun,very isolating. In a way i dont care too much because i was never a girly girl, and never an extrovert, who had lots of girlfriends and relied heavily on their support. 

      But still i feel the distance, and the weirdness. Thanks for the support! Yep its a long journey..a long one.

      xoxo

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  • Posted

    Hi Maui.  I hope you are feeling better.  It is good to vent.  And it is good for me to read how others are feeling.  I do feel very alone in my everyday surroundings. 
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  • Posted

    Hi Mauiblue, good explanation.  I sit here thinking is this the new me?  My gid they are not kidding when they say “the change”.  I love to read and do a lot of it these days!  I am reading Sleeping Beauties now. It is about all women coming down with a mysterious sleeping disease and a cocoon forms around them.  If the cocoon is disturbed, they kill the person.  Loving it so far!  🤗

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    • Posted

      So have you killed anyone yet?

      haha   not....?

      sounds very intriguing. who wrote it?

      im listening to a book on audible called dying to be me..i havent finished it but its so thought provoking.

      nice to have the forum back!

      x0x0

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  • Posted

    I am so glad I read this because I just started this weird symptom about a week ago.I was severly sleep deprived and stressed and was talking to my daughters and all of the sudden I felt like am I really here.It has been coming on and off all week and I know I am here,but it feels very weird.Like when I walk or talk I think am I really saying these things.It has been really bad today.I was schooling my kids this morning and laughing and having a good day,then boom I was writing my grocery list and I looked down at my hands and thought am I here.It has been like this all day now.It is the week of my period and I don't know if that's why it's worse.It is by far one of the worst symptoms.Just keep telling yourself it's hormones,that's what I keep doing.

    Hang in there and God Bless

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    • Posted

      yes

      its sometimes like i am witnessing myself from afar, or maybe just observing myself talking and responding to people, like out of body ish...

      it doesnt feel disassociative or anything, more like im in a heightened state..maybe this is a good thing?

      It is also creepy so who knows

      your not alone...

      xoxox

       

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  • Posted

    I understand where you're coming from. I no longer live a normal life. I just exist from day to day. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this.

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    • Posted

      Tracy , I do understand. I keep saying if I get the all clear at the Neuroligst everything will be okay. But then Ive spent three years feeling not ok and atm just find it a daily struggle and always looking at ways to be my old me.

      I really do find being on this menopause forum a godsend. Aa mauiblue said, you are not alone

      Xx

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