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Anxiety and depression is ruining my life.

Posted , 12 users are following.

ashley24325
ashley24325

Hi guys, 

Having a rough time with anxiety and I believe abit of depression that is being exacerbated by the anxiety. It all started last year after my partner comitted suicide. He killed himself a week before I was due to graduate from university and start a brand new job. Obviously I was very distressed after this happened but chose to not have any time off work, not even a day in the hope that I could work through my emotions and keep busy. Now after being promoted and life starting to get somewhat better I' am probably worse now than when it first happened. 

Could it be the fact that the emotional trauma of it all has eventually caught up with me now that I'm deciding to take time off to reflect? I'm experiencing panic attacks on the odd occasion however for the best part of day, every day I' am severly anxious and stressed in regards to my mental state, I just have no idea on how to relax.

My symptoms include chest pain, throbbing head pain, dizziness, lack of motivation, I get no enjoyment from seeing friends anymore because I'm always a nervous wreck with anxiety. If someone makes a loud noise or drops something then I jump a mile, I definetly think my nerves have been damaged from this experience if that is even possible? 

How do I get out of this rut of life before I give up entirely?

0 likes, 17 replies

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  • kirsty20637
    kirsty20637 ashley24325

    Posted

    This happened to me. I lost my dad 5 years ago and only recently I had a mini breakdown. Heart pounding headaches dizzyness. It's your body's way of telling you it's had enough x
    • ashley24325
      ashley24325 kirsty20637

      Posted

      Hi Kirsty, sorry to hear that.

      It helps knowing that I'm not on my own with this if that makes sense. It's strange that even after a while things that you thought you were able to cope with affect you massively. 

      I think it's just the stress of it all, I can understand why people commit suicide when they are that low with depression/anxiety.

      x

    • francesca45319
      francesca45319 ashley24325

      Posted

      Hi Ashley so sorry to hear about your bereavement. It's very tough. Since my dad died of cancer and severe alcoholism two years ago my anxiety has got steadily worse....I didn't really grief properly. Im going through a hard time at the moment with it all and im signed off work, catastrophising about so many things, all the physical symptoms, anxiety and panic attacks etc etc I think anxiety can be a big part of the bereavement process and actually a very natural response ie death can make you feel vulnerable, insecure, scared and questioning your own mortality etc

      Are you having any bereavement counselling? Some meds maybe a great help certainly thing the edge odd for me....

      I feel for you. I think we just have to accept it and go along with it. It's ok to feel crap.

      Happy for you to personally message me if you think it might help?

      Take care.

    • ashley24325
      ashley24325 francesca45319

      Posted

      Hi Francesca, thanks for your message. 

      Sorry to hear about your dad sad It's just horrendous how this kind of stuff can make us feel. I feel vulnerable and insecure about my own health at the moment but the way life is I just miss the care free attitude that I usd to have before this happened. 

      I've had bereavement counselling and it helped but I thought ready to stop and was doing so well (or least I thought, I was just hiding my emotions behind working). I'm on sertraline at the moment which I'm a week in taking and the side effects are not that nice- dizziness, fatigue, nausea, migranes, weakness etc.

      I just hope they work because I can't cope with feeling this physically ill from anxiety and depression all the time.

      Ashley 

  • louise1974
    louise1974 ashley24325

    Posted

    HI Ashley

    I think you answered your own question.  That is exactly what is going on with you. I am really sorry for the trauma you have been through.  You need to give yourself a break, no one can sail through such a traumatic event in their live without dealing with it and we all deal with it differently.  I've been through the same myself, I won't bore you with the details of my life but all that you are experiencing I also went through.  The symptoms of anxiety, panic attacks and that feeling where you are just on edge so every little noise etc drives you out of your mind.  Your body is on high alert because you are so anxious, in other words you are constantly stressed out to the max.  I could bang on and on with advice, the usual try deep breathing, take long walks and relax at every opportunity you can get.  What I found was after so many months of being severely anxious, although I kept on with my day to day stuff, work, home, kids etc depression finally caught up with me.  That scared the crap out of me, I didn't want to be here and I sought counselling which was good but I eventually had to start anti depressants which have helped massively.  It's not that they solve your problems, I can only tell you what they have done for me.   For me they have made me be able to sit back and look at my life, what happened, and deal with it without the crippling anxiety and depression.

    HOpe this helps xx

    • ashley24325
      ashley24325 louise1974

      Posted

      Hi Louise, thanks for your kind words. 

      It's just horrible what anxiety can do to you. I feel a unmotivated on edge wreck at the moment. Chest pains, migraines, weakness etc. Like you say I'm really scared about depression catching up with me (although I really think it has).

      I have been taking sertraline for a week now and had some awful side effects. However family and friends that have taken it before said it was brilliant in helping them deal with things- suppose it's just a case of riding through these horrible side effects until the drugs start kicking in.

      Hope you're doing well,

      Ashley 

  • Hollyworrier19
    Hollyworrier19 ashley24325

    Posted

    I know exactly how u feel, my mum passed away 7 years ago now but after 5 years I got really bad anxiety and had cbt treatment which really helped, I got over that but now it's come back again so I am back on medication. Have u been to the doctors?
    • ashley24325
      ashley24325 Hollyworrier19

      Posted

      Hi Holly,

      Sorry to hear about your loss- it's strange how these things can catch up on you when you think that you are dealing with it all quite well.

      I have been to the doctors numerous times and I even said that I wanted CBT months ago before I even got into this state however was told that wouldnt be viable- they seem to let someone get into a state where they don't even want to leave the house before they do something. 

      I have been on sertraline for a week now so I really hope that it starts to allieviate the feelings of hopelessness that I'm having. 

      Hope you're doing okay,

      Ashley 

    • Hollyworrier19
      Hollyworrier19 ashley24325

      Posted

      Thanks some days are hard but it does get easier, it is weird how such life changing events can make u feel mentally.

      I hope u start to feel more yourself soon. X

  • beth79547
    beth79547 ashley24325

    Posted

    Hi Ashley

    Im sorry you are experiencing this. My friends commited suicide when we were 16 and i have wondered wether that plays a part in my anxiety.

    I too work through my emotions and my anxiety takes over. Dizziness and nausea are my main symptoms but i have no idea why they arise or how to contol it. Im seeing a therapist so im hoping she can help.

    Take deep breaths and always write on here when you are in a panic. You are not alone. What your experiencing is definatley anxiety.

    • ashley24325
      ashley24325 beth79547

      Posted

      Hi Beth, thank you for your kind words.

      Do you feel as though your physical symptoms push you over the edge?

      I've never experienced migraines before but oh my gosh, they are awful. I'm just so tired and worn out with it all!

      Ashley

    • beth79547
      beth79547 ashley24325

      Posted

      Yes if it wasn't for the physical symptoms i would be ok i think.

      Alot of things make me tick and i think overtime!

      Most of the time there is nothing wrong with me and i know that but i cant stop the intrusive thoughts sad

      I just tell myself im being silly!

      Beth

    • DYSLEXIC
      DYSLEXIC ashley24325

      Posted

      my wife get migrain tabs from gp  , i dont no how much they must cost they only give her 5   , but she only use them when her eyes cannot  see through  pain
  • clairexx
    clairexx ashley24325

    Posted

    i'm sorry to hear about your loss, that must have been such a tragic time for you. sometimes you go on auto pilot & it takes a while for it all to catch up with you! have you been for counselling? x
    • ashley24325
      ashley24325 clairexx

      Posted

      Hi Claire, 

      That's what I feel like- just put my body on auto-pilot and its come back to bite me for doing that. I've been for bereavement counselling and it helped somewhat however I seem to have got myself into a hole where I don't even enjoy doing anything other than work which helps at taking my mind off things. 

      I've completely forgot how to relax sad

      Ashley

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