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Anxiety and fear of being alone

Posted , 6 users are following.

ross66245
ross66245

Okay I was told about this forum by a friend who used this for help so Im hoping it works for me too.

I have been suffering badly with anxeity and depression since October and have been on citalopram since the start of October when I had my first major panic attack. The first few weeks were insanely difficult and I was off work trying my best to keep busy, but its hard to fill the hours of the day. Gradually I managed to get back to work and solve the issues that I believe had been causing the anxiety. Everything seemed to be almost back to normal. I was still on a low dosage of citalopram 10mg and I was awaiting CBT councelling which starts in January.

But over the last week, negative thoughts began to creep back in and I tried my best to combat them. My mood went up and down so much even from minute to minute. Mornings were always hardest but the anxiety eased off towards the evenings to the point where I almost felt relaxed. But on Friday I had a mild panic attack at work and I tried as much as possible to change what I was thinking about but it had taken over by then. The weekend was so hard. I have begun having morbid thoughts about how easy it would be to hurt myself even disappear completely.

I woke up this morning and felt the same so I phoned the docs and he has put me back on 20mg of citalopram and given me something to help with sleep etc at nights and to calm me down if I have another panic attack. He explained the morbid thoughts are common with anxiety. I have started to develop a fear of being alone which im hoping is just a side effect of the anxiety as well. Has anyone else had similar symptoms? As with everyone else I have it in my head im the only one feeling like this. Thanks for reading this and I really appreciate any help. This has been the hardest few months of my life and I would never wish it on my worst enemy.

0 likes, 27 replies

27 Replies

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  • stephen36848
    stephen36848 ross66245

    Posted

    From what I've read and experienced myself, this seems quite normal.

    I was told that my first 4-6 weeks on Citalopram would be a tough climb and may have bad side effects. And boy did I!! But when im fune- im great... My anxiety is just gradually slowing right down from one every day. As for the morbid thoughts, I too had this! I've never been morbid but I starting worrying about the process of death and have major panic attacks. Now im feeling a little better, so it does improve. I'm on 20mg now and im starting to feel the benefits, still get the odd attack but its improving.. CBT will help.. And also loved ones, cherish every good moment and never pass on telling someone if you're feeling low! It gets better so just perservere. Easier said than done I know.

    Hope you see improvements. All the best!

    • ross66245
      ross66245 stephen36848

      Posted

      Thanks for taking the time to reply Stephen. I'm glad it's "normal", for lack of a better word, to have these morbid thoughts. I'm really hoping a mix of both the 20mg and CBT will make a difference. It's going to be a tough couple weeks with it being this time of year but hopefully it goes past quick enough. Thanks again
  • gillian20097
    gillian20097 ross66245

    Posted

    Hello sugar.

    First let me reassure you that all you are thinking and feeling is perfectly normal for people with anxiety, All your doubts and fears,we have all had at some point.

    Your anxiety started in October and although that will seem like a lifetime to you,it's not very long in the form of anxiety episodes and treatment. You where on quite a low dose if Citalopram which some say isn't even a therapeutic dose,while others believe it helps them.

    I think you will find 20mg far more beneficial but it may take about a week for that dose to settle into your system. You may get a bit if heightened anxiety and it will all seem a little worse on the higher dose but you just have to keep telling yourself that this is temporary...it's just your body getting used to the new dose. Once it settles,you will feel improvements over the coming weeks. 

    Try to find ways to relax yourself and at times you can't relax,....try to keep distracted. YouTube have some great guided meditation and relaxation audios which have been invaluable to me at the tougher times.

    This isn't forever chick. Anxiety/depression is very treatable. You just have to believe in yourself and keep affirming to yourself that you can and will get through this.

    Its a bumpy ride but also one that will empower you and make you stronger than ever before xxxx

    • ross66245
      ross66245 gillian20097

      Posted

      Hi Gillian thanks so much for your kind words. I will check out the audio videos you mentioned and see if these can give me tips on relaxing when I'm struggling. Thanks again xx
    • rachel62244
      rachel62244 gillian20097

      Posted

      I'm on week 5 of fluoxetine and 37weeks pregnant and its awful. They have improved my concentration so I can function a bit more but I still feel drugged up. Whether its the meds or the anxiety I don't know. It feels like I'll never b me again. I'm scared. 
    • rachel62244
      rachel62244 UK-Ven-medicate

      Posted

      No 3rd and final. I was bad after my second with pnd and serve anxiety and now its back late in this one. Sertraline saved me last time but not now sad fluoxetine int too good rolleyes
    • UK-Ven-medicate
      UK-Ven-medicate rachel62244

      Posted

      Lol I had 3 kids and then I worked out what the issue was, so got some house bricks. Down side now is Im divorced ;0( and evryone i speak to wants kids....

       

    • UK-Ven-medicate
      UK-Ven-medicate

      Posted

      How long have you been on Fluoxetine / Prozac ? was it 5 weeks you said  ? Its still early day at 5 weeks, I am sure with all your support on here and any you have at home you are going to be just fine. Just got to slow the pace down 
    • UK-Ven-medicate
      UK-Ven-medicate rachel62244

      Posted

      Thats Great we all need a support mechanism. Hope you will share baby pics with us.....
  • carol48459
    carol48459 ross66245

    Posted

    Hi I suffer from health anxiety and I get so many different symtoms over the last 2 weeks I started to feel that I didn't like being left alone in the house on my own at the moment I am having counselling so I need to discuss this with my counseller

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