Anxiety and meds
Posted , 2 users are following.
hi all. Ive recently been diagnosed with anxiety. Ive probably had if for a few yrs now but never really bothered to do anything about it. Ive had a lot to deal with the last 12 months with my boyfriend of 15yrs has moved out into his own place as we needed some time apart as a couple to hopefully fix things, my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer for the second time in 3yrs and im normally over the top worried about normal common bugs but this virus has made me become a completely germ aware. my doctor has prescribed me Propranolol to take as when needed but haven't taken any. im a person who hates taking tablets unless im in severe pain and im worried about these or any others the doctors may prescribe once i talk to them again.
just recently the last few months ive felt anxious all the time and miserable too, maybe a bit of depression guess. im also positive the anxious is down to my boyfriend, we had this massive argument a few months back and since then ive felt like this. if im honest, i think most if not all is down to him. for example, he wants to go to the cinema on the 17th of December to watch a high grossing film which means the cinema will be packed. the odeon has no restrictions or guidelines in place at all to help provent the spread of this virus so i dont want to go at all. he said he will be regardless. he is suppose to be coming to have xmas with me and my family from the 22nd dec and i think him going is irresponsible because both my parents are high risk and so is he so that is all making me anxious, he keeps trying to force me to move in with him and gives me ultimatum like move in or we are done which is now contributing to my anxiety as im always worried whats next, what argument is next etc.
im thinking tablets might help but im also anxious about taking them and have no one to talk to
0 likes, 8 replies
Midg8290
Posted
forgot to add, my boyfriend doesn't think i have something wrong and acts like its nothing and calls me crazy or that im over reacting. he makes me feel like im insane and that im the one in the wrong. i curl up in the corner in tears alone because i feel so trapped and alone and like its all me.
sasical72 Midg8290
Edited
In all honesty, this time will probably do you good to think if you want to continue in a relationship like that.
I would take this alone time to focus on yourself and ways to feel better. Do you have access to any form of therapy?
Midg8290 sasical72
Edited
no i don't. i can't afford it either. He never use to be like this and i have told him in the past but its all my fault why he is a different person now. i guess maybe im holding on to hope that someday he will return. It doesn't help that i dont feel confident enough to leave because he has drummed into me that he is the best i can do
sasical72 Midg8290
Posted
Someone who drums into you that he is the best you can do is obviously NOT the best you can do. And somebody who tries to force you to things and gives you ultimatums is obviously not deserving of you, but I understand that is difficult to see when your self-esteem has been severely knocked.
Do you have friends or family that you can lean on?
Midg8290 sasical72
Posted
i have no friends unless you count my clients who i talk to but they are not my friends. the only family i have is my parents but they have enough to deal with and i dont want to burden them. all my clients tell me to leave him and that ill be better off but not having anyone like a friend or lets say a possible future boyfriend in sight makes me wonder if hes right. im trying to do what is best for me but having the fear of losing him constantly is exhausting and it makes me want to give up. i would love to have friends i can rely on, talk to, someone who will support me but i dont and im no good at making friends. never had any school other than my boyfriend now
Midg8290 sasical72
Edited
been having a bit of a panic attack the last day or so and its starting to make my chest hurt. my heart has been beating fast non stop since Thursday night. i had an argument with my boyfriend who is trying to get me to move in with him and said i had to stay with him 30days or its over a few months back. i arranged to spend 10 days with him from next Friday but now i think we are over because i wont do the 30 days. he sent me a text say by the way been thinking about getting a mortgage but was on the fence cause of us but thanks for making the decision easy for me. i never relied and we haven't talked since. im driving my self mad living in limbo here
sasical72 Midg8290
Posted
Yes, being on the fence really does cause a lot of anxiety, those "yes but no, no but yes" thoughts really do end up causing panic. You will have to make a decision at some point, or maybe he will make it for you.
Midg8290 sasical72
Edited
ive told him several of time im not ready to move out and that i was happy with the way out relationship has been as we use to argue 24/7 and ive never been this happy in yrs with him. ive told him all this but when something p*sses him off thats it. im perfectly fine with him buying a place, actually i was the one who suggested it before he moved into where he is now. i think its a power play. he thinks ill get upset and do what he wants. my reaction to him wanting to buy a place wont be what he is expecting. if we are over then i just want an answer rather than living in the unknown. its cruel and unfair, especially when he knows i have anxiety