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Anxiety and my life so far

Posted , 15 users are following.

phil1990
phil1990

Hi my name is Phil and I'm 23. After reading all you're posts I thought I would tell everyone my story.

I have had anxiety ever since I could remember. I always felt more nervous than the other kids at school in certain situations and just thought they were as nervous as me but just didn't show it. I used to mask how I was feeling with trying to be the class clown and always being naughty. All through my school life I avoided any public speaking etc and missed a lot of school faking illness. I came away from school at 16 with no qualifications and hardly any friends as I used to make excuses to them as why I can't got to a party or hang around on the park etc so ended up pushing them all away. I also quit playing rugby at the age of 15 after 8 years of playing. It does hurt knowing that I had to quit the sport I love because the anxiety was getting worse.

So after leaving school I decided to google why I was always feeling nervous and I came across anxiety but didn't think much of it and thought it was just me being silly and I should man up. I have had a few jobs since leaving school but didn't last very long because of the anxiety. I have not worked but 3 years and don't claim benefits as I wouldn't be able to go through the whole interview process.

I pretended to be this confident funny kid at school but really I was just a scared child. Thinking back now I probably misbehaved as a way out seeking attention and help. My parents are quite laid back and have just gave me money over the years and have never really asked questions but now they are starting to struggle with money etc so I need to do something. Plus seeing all my old school friends that have jobs, cars, houses, girlfriends etc make me realise that I need to sort my life out as I will be 24 in October.

All I have done for the past 3 years mainly is stay at home and work out on my weights/exercise and watch tv. My neighbours always tell me I'm a good looking guy and I should have a good looking girlfriend by now but its not as easy as that. That's the problem with modern day society, just because some is supposedly good looking it doesn't mean they are a confident person.

My whole life has just been one big lie. I would be here all day if I was to go through them all. If a situation comes up and I don't want to be in it then I will just lie to get myself out of it.

Anyway after 7 years from leaving school I have now decided to try and get my life back on track and have booked myself into my local GP which is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 8:30am. When I phoned reception the woman who answered was very understanding and gave me the first appointment of the day so I didn't have to think about it all day and there wouldn't be many people waiting at that time in the morning so I could go straight in. It does scare me tho reading some of the other posts about people going there whole life and still having problems. I just want to be normal. Have a boring 9-5 job and eventually get my own place.

Anyway that's my life so far, I hope things improve. If anyone is interested I will keep you updated with how things go!

Phil smile

1 like, 43 replies

43 Replies

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  • phil1990
    phil1990

    Posted

    Got a phone call from my GP today and he wants me to come see him on Monday to talk about the CBT so hopefully its good news smile

    Phil x

    • sue86025
      sue86025 phil1990

      Posted

      Great news. 

      Good luck. Hope things work out. Keep us posted with how you're doing. 

       

  • danielle86512
    danielle86512 phil1990

    Posted

    Hi phil. . Just read ur post.. im in the same situation an seems to be getting harder.. how r u getting on.. whatdid ur dr say. .
  • hope4cure
    hope4cure phil1990

    Posted

    Hi thanks 4 sharing UR story things will work out.,give it time.confused
  • phil1990
    phil1990

    Posted

    Not updated this post for a while! How has everyone been getting on? Also if we haven't spoken before feel free to message me and share your story smile
    • denise1963
      denise1963 phil1990

      Posted

      Hi Phil how are you doing now?

      Hope things have progressed well for you.

  • sarah40241
    sarah40241 phil1990

    Posted

    Hi Phil

    i wanted to know since you have been to the doctors have you felt better? 

    • phil1990
      phil1990 sarah40241

      Posted

      Its now been 10 months since i first went to the doctors. I came of the medication after 2 months as i felt it just wasnt for me but carried on with the CBT and now in a much better place!
  • Colby2049
    Colby2049 phil1990

    Posted

    Hey Phil. I know it's been a while since your last post. I'm 22 and have pretty much had an anxiety problem my whole life. As far back as I can remember. I'm considering going to a doctor to get on some medication. Are you still taking yours and how are things going?
    • phil1990
      phil1990 Colby2049

      Posted

      Hey. I completely forgot about this but luckily I still get email notifications. I stopped my medication after a few months. It just wasn't for me. It made me feel sleepy and tired all the time but that's kinda it's job to stop your brain running wild and being over active so you are calmer. I didn't like feeling like a zombie all the time but others don't mind. Go to your doctors and explain your situation! Most people worry about them not understanding but mental health issues are taken much more seriously these days. They will probably just ask you to take some medication and come back in 4-6 weeks to see how you are feeling and will probably discuss things further with you smile

      I have learnt that everyone is wired differently and we all get nervous in certain situations but some more than others which means the anxiety will always be there in life but it's learning how to calm it down. Hopefully you every thing works out for you!

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