Anxiety and Sensitised Nerves
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Someone asked if I'd share this in a public post (this is from a private message we had).
As well as taking Citalopram, I found understanding about anxiety was a big breakthrough for me and helped me recover.
Years ago I read all of Dr Clare Weeks books and it was the first time someone had actually made anxiety seem so simple to understand. I wanted my doctor and medical team to talk to me the way she talked to her patients but they didn't back then. I was frightened of the word 'mental' and wasn't comfortable having therapy, which was carried out in a cold, unwelcoming victorian hospital, and the whole experience just made me more anxious and frightened than ever. I knew I wasn't mad, I just had this feeling that I didn't understand, these thoughts that brought this feeling on and nobody once told me it was anxiety. Never. One doctor suggested I had Obsessional Neurosis, another said depression - was I neurotic? What were all these feelings, why did I have them, where do I go ........ these thoughts churned around my head daily, adding to my anxiety, strengthening those frightening thoughts ....... and I found the answer in those books ..... I had anxiety. Everything I felt and thought was all due to anxiety. Fix the anxiety and the rest would be fixed too. Simple. Though it wasn't that simple getting out of it.
But just knowing that sorted all the confusion out in my head and instead I could just concentrate on one thing. I see many people doing what I did - always searching for an answer, panicking and questioning every symptom, they get confused and go round in circles searching for an answer - just as I had done. The answer for me was in those books (plus the other newer book I found this year and I can't mention here). To me, they were simple answers - and a simple route back to normality - though that simple route was not easy.
Those books talked about sensitisation which I found interesting.
When you suffer with stress over and over, your nerves become a little sensitive over time. This means that they start to become 'trigger happy' and emotions start to become more exaggerated. Your nerves cannot sustain this sensitivity forever and needs time to calm every so often ...... but what do we do? ... we continue to push ourselves more, add more stress and make our nerves more and more sensitive, pushing and pushing them until they can't cope anymore until they break down, resulting in an outpouring of adrenaline and anxiety.
For a 'normal' person, if they'd had that anxiety feeling they'd be able to cope with it, but to a person that's been working those nerves to the maximum and feeling those emotions more and more, they will probably respond to the anxiety differently - with fear.
So our nerves are now screaming at us - the heart is pounding, we sweat, shake, and the anxiety is raging around our bodies and we feel absolutely terrified of all these new feelings. We are over reacting to a physical feeling, but our emotions are already exaggerated, our bodies tense and alert and we start to fear this. Our body is super sensitised .......... everything we feel and think is over exaggerated. We hold our bodies tensely, fighting this 'thing', we clench our teeth, hold our stomaches tight ........ it is so tiring.
We simply need to reverse this, to bring this sensitisation back down to normal, and that is by relaxing towards the anxiety, release the tension on the stomach, release that clenched jaw, ....... just let go of tension and float along. We should not react to the anxiety with tension, not fear it ....... and this will in time make our nerves calmer, soothing them so eventually they'll return to normal which will then bring all our reactions back to normal too.
The body needs a rest. We rush about and hold it so tight against fear which adds to the problem. If you held a heavy weight for a long time then your muscles would soon tire and would scream at you they wanted to rest. This is the same about tensing to anxiety. Stop rushing about, slow down, let go of those tense / tight muscles, relax, slump ....... but don't just sit there, but instead whilst relaxing you must at the same time carry on about your day as normal. Slowly.
This is why 'normal' people don't have this reaction to anxiety because their nerves are at a normal level. When your nerves are heightened they will respond to anything and everything - its like they're alive and buzzing around your body.
Along with medication, helping to treat anxiety is to first understand that everything you think and feel are all due to anxiety. All the 'what if I did this', 'what if my anxiety doesn't go', 'what if I'm this' and 'what if I'm that' ........ all these questions and many more that go round and round in your head all day creating more anxiety, and questions that are never answered. I had my fair share of them. People start to avoid things and places because they feel anxious - but it isn't these places they fear, but it is the fear itself they fear. They fear that feeling so avoid places because they know they'll feel it there ...... and so the association with places starts.
Its the same with scary thoughts. We fear our thoughts, and so our mind goes looking for more. They produce anxiety and so we then try to avoid these thoughts which just exaggerates them. We should instead let those thoughts be there, let them flit in and out, relax towards them and carry on with whatever we're doing. The anxiety will build up but it will also pass too. Over time ..... much time ..... your body slowly becomes desensitised to the place, thought or whatever it is and relearns not to be frightened. You're reversing the process.
It was this that I began to understand. For a very long time though I couldn't get started on this as I expected to feel relief immediately. I'd think 'but I let those thoughts come and go and they still frighten me' ......... but I didn't understand that yes they would still frighten me, but I had to let them, relax, carry on. It wasn't until I started taking SSRI's that it all began to fit together and I could see what Dr Weeks meant, could see it was just anxiety I had and how to relax towards my fears. Yes the medication helped me recover but I think 16 years of anxiety I just couldn't do it with just a book back then as I had too many habits to deal with.
Anxiety is physical. Nerves are physical and they become 'jagged'. They just need to become smoothed out again.
Take away the hurdle of the constant questions, there is no need to over analyse each symptom ...... they are all there purely because you have anxiety. Once the anxiety starts to ease, so to will all those symptoms - so why waste time trying to sort them out.
Nurture the body with good food and gentle exercise too.
Take life at a slower pace - we all are so used to rushing everywhere, fitting things in - and its good for us for a while. Too much pushing it and those nerves start to get overworked.
Just slow down and let go throughout your day. Nobody can see anxiety coming and you won't know until is too late and you get your first panic attack or taste of anxiety. When that starts its quite shocking as we don't ever feel anything like it so that's why it becomes frightening. Those sensitised nerves will make you over exaggerate everything and they just need to be reversed.When the Citalopram started to kick in, I found understanding all this just helped sort the jumbled mess in my head. I found one path to follow, I didn't need to question anything anymore as knew all the symptoms would ease along with the anxiety.
They did.
18 likes, 67 replies
Kaycee777 katecogs
Edited
Hi Kate and thank you for this excellent post. I too, have been suffering with anxiety since I was a child so many years ago. I remember my first 'panic attack' like it was yesterday. It was 45 years ago. It has been a mission for me to sort it all out. I looked at the mental aspects and tried to meditate, which helped me a great deal for a period of three years. It was only when I was in deep meditation that I realized how tense and anxious I truly was. The calmness I felt during that first experience of meditation was so beautiful it made me laugh out of pure joy. I found a tool that I could use on a daily basis to combat the fear and tension that anxiety had created in my life untill then. The day came after my father's passing that meditation was not working for me as it once did. It became impossible to continue to use this tool effectively. On to searching for supplements and nutrition to fight this ugly monster. I search and experimented with hundreds of nutritional supplements, some had a positive effect, most did not. It was not helping like meditation had. At 68 years old, after years of searching for answers, I gave in. Citalopram. It has been 17 days on this med and it has been a roller coaster ride of side effects ranging from gastrointestinal discomfort to severe anxiety. I can finally say I seem to be in a better place and improving more and more wirh each passing day. I have hope which I thought was lost forever. I thank my Doctor for prescribing my first ever SSRI and am proud of myself for taking the plunge, so to speak. My future is bright and for that I am very grateful.
katecogs Kaycee777
Edited
Hi Kaycee
Ah - I didn't know my post was posted as it was being moderated for a few days (not allowed to promote books, links etc and I'd mentioned books, though not titles).
Sorry to hear you've suffered with this since a child - a long time
Sometimes your body gets into a habit of behaviour too which is difficult to break .... but can be done. Meditation is good and yes, sometimes you don't realise how tense you are.
Losing a loved one will have an effect on your body, and sometimes we do need a little more help at times like that instead of tools we've been able to cope with. I lost my parents 8 years ago and was on medication at the time which helped me get through that difficult time. I came off meds 4 years ago and was taking 5-HTP successfully until my son became ill a year later which became too much for me and the 5-HTP wasn't enough to help me through it, so returned to meds once more. He recovered, I recovered and I came off again and am currently pill free (all going well still)
So yes, sometimes we need that little extra help in times of need.
Using the accepting / relaxation technique has been brilliant for me too - together with medication helped me recover both times. Now I just use the accepting / relaxation ... but I wouldn't hesitate to return to meds if ever I needed help if it got tough again.
Do you know we shouldn't fight this monster - that is actually the wrong thing to do, and we should instead do the opposite of giving in and letting it be there. Surrendering means giving up the tension, the fight and letting it be which actually starts to work. Another book I can recommend 100% about this.
Glad you're feeling the benefits of the meds already - it can be a rocky road on them so don't be surprised if the anxiety returns for a while (don't worry its quite normal and only temporary .... just seems the normal route to recovery on these meds). The waves of anxiety do eventually stop.
Well done for taking the plunge though. Like me, sometimes after too many years of suffering, you just need that extra bit of help as though you know how to cope, it sometimes needs that little bit of a push.
I'm sure you'll find you'll improve more and more
lois95799 katecogs
Posted
Wow...Kate I have never read any of those books or any book...but I understand fully what you are talking about.so well explain...I learn thru reading your reply/comments..to do exactly that ..let them be ...but I couldn't do that without celexa..with celexa it's so easy...without celexa ..it was a nightmare...great post..take care
katecogs lois95799
Posted
Oooh you must read her books and even more so the book I keep talking about that I found this year too. I'll message you with it. So interesting!
Yes I began to understand anxiety which helped me so much, and the medicine finally got me through to recovery. Both together have been excellent, and now I'm off meds I've that understanding just helps keep me going.
K x
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Kate you have kept me going for 9 long months so I thank you for that the only moment of peace I get is when I read your posts. I have upped my dose of fluoxetine to 40mg from 20mg which scares me but I fount myself feeling as bad as I did when I had a breakdown so I had to do something.
I'm struggling every minute of every day at the minute it's all mental suffering for me my mind does not stop thinking about things, trying to sort things out, wondering how to get better, comparing everything I see or hear with how I feel, it's like tourture
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
Hi Abi
So you've been on Fluoxetine for 9 months now? And when did you increase? Don't forget that weblink / book too - it really is very good - this will also help with all the mental suffering as it explains each symptom and the way forward.
Sometimes you just get stuck in a cycle - anxiety brings many side effects and its these we then start to worry about, question and fear, which just adds more anxiety onto what you're already suffering with, so it just adds fuel to the fire, keeping you in that cycle.
The weblink / book talks about this in detail and it will really help.
K x
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Yes I started them at the beginning of January and upped the dose from 20mg to 40mg on Thursday.
My head has so much pressure in it I'm exhausted just feel so tired and drained and wish my mind would just switch off.
I try to read the book and weblink but I find my mind just fighting with everything I read and arguing with everything I read.
Thanks
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
That's often why you're exhausted - you're actually fighting your mind and trying to control it. The book says to let your mind ramble, let it chatter away ..... because its going to anyway, so you might as well let it. Understand these are just thoughts and they will go as your anxiety eases.
You probably have so many thoughts running through your mind all day, which becomes overwhelming. I had exactly the same ...... and hitting upon this method I found it gave me one direction / one focus, and stopped me ruminating all the time. It didn't cure me ..... but it stopped my mind flailing around and being anxious at everything. This method and medication eventually cured me.
Thoughts are often all the confusion to how you are feeling, wondering why you are like this, wondering if you'll ever be well, and all those 'what ifs' ....... All these thoughts become automatic and a habit. When you're anxious, everything becomes magnified and every problem and little details becomes massive.
Your thoughts are just created by your anxiety. Your body is anxious, and so it stands to reason so too will your thoughts be too. They will be negative - your whole body feels negative at the moment. When you have no anxiety your thoughts will return to normal.
The more you try and rid yourself of these thoughts, the harder they'll stick. If you fight them, you make them important ..... but when you let them be they'll lose their importance and over time will fade.
This goes for any thought. The way you think is purely because of anxiety.
I was exactly the same as you - I found it hard to read and what I did my mind would conjure up negative thoughts all the time. If I was too tired to read then I'd read just a paragraph. Eventually I began to sit up and take note because I became excited at what I was reading.
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Thank you Kate for your words of wisdom still really struggling but I'm practicing following up a negative thought with the words it's just a thought! I think iv been saying it about 20,000 times a day but hoping it will work in the end... I do feel like I'm back at the start and feel like iv learnt nothing in nine months of therapy this is just so hard!
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
You have recently upped from 20mg to 40mg so that will have a big effect on how you feel at the moment. Its like starting again. If you think how you were when you first stated 20mg, you've just added in another complete dose to your day.
Remember that understanding anxiety, its side effects and whats happening to you is half the battle done. Not knowing and floundering around looking for answers just adds to the confusion and stress
Give it time for the dose increase to settle. Giving yourself positive thoughts is good following on from a negative one too xxx
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Oh Kate I'm trying so hard but nothing is helping me I feel so down iv really had enough of this now it's so horrible I don't even think this is anxiety surely I can't make me feel this ill.x
katecogs abi28
Posted
Its a struggle isn't it - I suffered for 16 years until I was given SSRI's and read many books on anxiety which helped so much. I never thought I'd ever be well again ......... but you can be Abi - everyone can recover from this.
You still need to give that dose increase more time. Recovery / dose increases should be counted in months, not weeks.
Do you think its more depression then, than anxiety?
abi28 katecogs
Posted
I don't know that's what worries me that it's more depression but my therapist said anxiety and depression can be treated the same. Every day is such a struggle I don't know how i get through the days, the mornings are absolutely horrible I wake at about five and it hits me constant overthinking, feel sick, negative thoughts and restless.
I have another doctors appointment in three weeks to see how I am then on the fluoxetine but she said I might need to try something else.x
katecogs abi28
Posted
Yes mornings are the worst - happened to me too. As soon as I woke the thoughts and feelings started, and I just wanted to curl up and stay under my duvet.
You see how your body is so deeply relaxed when asleep - that's what's good for your body during the day too - not by being asleep though, but relaxed and moving about and getting on with things in a calm, relaxed manner. It helps settle the jagged nerves - helps soothe them. Yes the thoughts will still be present, but by adopting this relaxed manner is something I used to do ...... and still do today.
I expect your doctor may give you something alongside the Fluoxetine to help at the moment.
sue68612 katecogs
Posted
What is the weblink you are talking about?