Anxiety and Sensitised Nerves

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Someone asked if I'd share this in a public post (this is from a private message we had).

As well as taking Citalopram, I found understanding about anxiety was a big breakthrough for me and helped me recover.

Years ago I read all of Dr Clare Weeks books and it was the first time someone had actually made anxiety seem so simple to understand.  I wanted my doctor and medical team to talk to me the way she talked to her patients but they didn't back then.  I was frightened of the word 'mental' and wasn't comfortable having therapy, which was carried out in a cold, unwelcoming victorian hospital, and the whole experience just made me more anxious and frightened than ever.  I knew I wasn't mad, I just had this feeling that I didn't understand, these thoughts that brought this feeling on and nobody once told me it was anxiety.  Never.  One doctor suggested I had Obsessional Neurosis, another said depression - was I neurotic?  What were all these feelings, why did I have them, where do I go ........ these thoughts churned around my head daily, adding to my anxiety, strengthening those frightening thoughts ....... and I found the answer in those books ..... I had anxiety.  Everything I felt and thought was all due to anxiety.  Fix the anxiety and the rest would be fixed too.  Simple.  Though it wasn't that simple getting out of it.

But just knowing that sorted all the confusion out in my head and instead I could just concentrate on one thing.  I see many people doing what I did - always searching for an answer, panicking and questioning every symptom, they get confused and go round in circles searching for an answer - just as I had done.  The answer for me was in those books (plus the other newer book I found this year and I can't mention here).  To me, they were simple answers - and a simple route back to normality - though that simple route was not easy.

Those books talked about sensitisation which I found interesting.

When you suffer with stress over and over, your nerves become a little sensitive over time.  This means that they start to become 'trigger happy' and emotions start to become more exaggerated.  Your nerves cannot sustain this sensitivity forever and needs time to calm every so often ...... but what do we do?  ... we continue to push ourselves more, add more stress and make our nerves more and more sensitive, pushing and pushing them until they can't cope anymore until they break down, resulting in an outpouring of adrenaline and anxiety.

For a 'normal' person, if they'd had that anxiety feeling they'd be able to cope with it, but to a person that's been working those nerves to the maximum and feeling those emotions more and more, they will probably respond to the anxiety differently - with fear.

So our nerves are now screaming at us - the heart is pounding, we sweat, shake, and the anxiety is raging around our bodies and we feel absolutely terrified of all these new feelings.  We are over reacting to a physical feeling, but our emotions are already exaggerated, our bodies tense and alert and we start to fear this.  Our body is super sensitised .......... everything we feel and think is over exaggerated.  We hold our bodies tensely, fighting this 'thing', we clench our teeth, hold our stomaches tight ........ it is so tiring.

We simply need to reverse this, to bring this sensitisation back down to normal, and that is by relaxing towards the anxiety, release the tension on the stomach, release that clenched jaw, ....... just let go of tension and float along.  We should not react to the anxiety with tension, not fear it ....... and this will in time make our nerves calmer, soothing them so eventually they'll return to normal which will then bring all our reactions back to normal too.

The body needs a rest.  We rush about and hold it so tight against fear which adds to the problem.  If you held a heavy weight for a long time then your muscles would soon tire and would scream at you they wanted to rest.  This is the same about tensing to anxiety.  Stop rushing about, slow down, let go of those tense / tight muscles, relax, slump ....... but don't just sit there, but instead whilst relaxing you must at the same time carry on about your day as normal.  Slowly.

This is why 'normal' people don't have this reaction to anxiety because their nerves are at a normal level.  When your nerves are heightened they will respond to anything and everything - its like they're alive and buzzing around your body.

Along with medication, helping to treat anxiety is to first understand that everything you think and feel are all due to anxiety.  All the 'what if I did this', 'what if my anxiety doesn't go', 'what if I'm this' and 'what if I'm that' ........ all these questions and many more that go round and round in your head all day creating more anxiety, and questions that are never answered.  I had my fair share of them.  People start to avoid things and places because they feel anxious - but it isn't these places they fear, but it is the fear itself they fear.  They fear that feeling so avoid places because they know they'll feel it there ...... and so the association with places starts.

Its the same with scary thoughts.  We fear our thoughts, and so our mind goes looking for more.  They produce anxiety and so we then try to avoid these thoughts which just exaggerates them.  We should instead let those thoughts be there, let them flit in and out, relax towards them and carry on with whatever we're doing.  The anxiety will build up but it will also pass too.  Over time ..... much time ..... your body slowly becomes desensitised to the place, thought or whatever it is and relearns not to be frightened.  You're reversing the process.

It was this that I began to understand.  For a very long time though I couldn't get started on this as I expected to feel relief immediately.  I'd think 'but I let those thoughts come and go and they still frighten me' ......... but I didn't understand that yes they would still frighten me, but I had to let them, relax, carry on.  It wasn't until I started taking SSRI's that it all began to fit together and I could see what Dr Weeks meant, could see it was just anxiety I had and how to relax towards my fears.  Yes the medication helped me recover but I think 16 years of anxiety I just couldn't do it with just a book back then as I had too many habits to deal with.

Anxiety is physical.  Nerves are physical and they become 'jagged'.  They just need to become smoothed out again.  

Take away the hurdle of the constant questions, there is no need to over analyse each symptom ...... they are all there purely because you have anxiety.  Once the anxiety starts to ease, so to will all those symptoms - so why waste time trying to sort them out.

Nurture the body with good food and gentle exercise too.

Take life at a slower pace - we all are so used to rushing everywhere, fitting things in - and its good for us for a while.  Too much pushing it and those nerves start to get overworked.

Just slow down and let go throughout your day.  Nobody can see anxiety coming and you won't know until is too late and you get your first panic attack or taste of anxiety.  When that starts its quite shocking as we don't ever feel anything like it so that's why it becomes frightening.  Those sensitised nerves will make you over exaggerate everything and they just need to be reversed.When the Citalopram started to kick in, I found understanding all this just helped sort the jumbled mess in my head.  I found one path to follow, I didn't need to question anything anymore as knew all the symptoms would ease along with the anxiety.

They did.

 

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  • Posted

    Hi there this was very helpful. Slowing down reducing the workload is what I need to do but I need my employer’s support as most of my anxiety is around my job - excessive workload and unrealistic demand. I have the strength to request this but what if that doesn’t happen? I can’t calm down if I still need to work until 11pm to get through my workload.
    • Posted

      Hi Sally

      Working until 11pm is outrageous ..... your body cannot sustain this level indefinitely.  Something will unfortunately give in the end.  Think of your body as like a car engine - you keep pushing it beyond its limits and don't care for it, it will breakdown in the end.  Your body needs time to unwind, but if you pile on more stress onto a body thats already wound up then it will give.

      The more you do for the company, the more they'll expect of you.  If you're working until 11pm they'll think you're amazing and probably don't realise you're working until that time to fit it all in.

      Your employer should have a 'Care of Duty' towards their employees, ensuring they take all steps which are reasonably possible to ensure their employees health, safety and wellbeing.  Flogging you into the ground will have an effect on the business eventually, as one day you'll be forced to take a long time off sick.

      I've chatted to many people on here who've had to take time out due to the stress and anxiety of work - they've all regretted working all hours.  

      Your health is far more important than work.  When I was in the depths of despair years ago, I'd have given my right arm just to be well again.  Nothing in this world compares to your mental well being.  Without that, everything else feels irrelevant.

      Stress and anxiety are on the increase, and its due to the modern lifestyle we lead and demands / pressures in the workplace.  

      I'd speak to someone at your work - they should support their employees - and if not, then maybe its time to look whats best for you.  Your health is more important than anything. xxx wink

    • Posted

      Hi Katecogs.  What a brilliant post you have written and of particular interest to me as I am now Cit "free" (mainly due to adverse side effects), but also I have read and re-read Clare Weekes and a more modern version on her theories, and quite honestly, they have helped me more than the Cit ever did !! The understanding of the symptoms of anxiety was a "light bulb" moment and put a lot of my fears to rest.  I am not fully recovered yet, but I hope you will agree, it is a long haul. I still get a few physical symptoms from time to time, but am coping a lot, lot better.  Take care, Lily x

    • Posted

      Hi Lily

      Thanks - its the method I read from the Weeks books years ago, and something which has always stuck with me.  The more modern version of her theories - is it written by a man who suffered for 10 years?  I can't mention the title or author or my post will be deleted wink  

      Yes these books were a godsend to me - I did take meds too which helped me get back on track, but understanding what Dr Weeks wrote helped to take away a lot of the fear of anxiety too.

      Yes it is a long haul, but the knowledge you learn from these books will always stay with you and will help get you back to feeling well again.

      Best wishes

      K x

    • Posted

      Hi Katecogs. I should have explained that I’m actually a primary teacher and those hours of working are very common these days. On the premises from 8 till 5.30 - frequently attend meetings or run clubs so my marking and preparation has to come home with me. I’m a mum so when I get home I need to make dinner, assist with homework or taking my son to his various hobbies. My work then begins. My husband frequently works away from home so I am absolutely at full stretch. When we have approached our boss about workload we are all told it is the nature of the job and always has been - it’s a vocation and not a 9-5 job. 
    • Posted

      Hi Katecogs.  Yes you are right about the book !! I also use the website particularly when I'm having a bit of a "blip" and need a quick fix !! I find that I cope very well with my anxiety until I feel a bit physically unwell, which at my age is understandable, but it is then that I have to really concentrate on ignoring the symptoms and get back on track. It is becoming easier tho. Did you find that your physical symptoms lasted quite a time during your recovery ?? Onwards and upwards as the saying goes.  Take care. Lily x

    • Posted

      Hi Sally

      Ah I see ....... so when children complain they have too much homework, they should think of their poor teachers having to work too lol wink

      Mmmm ..... trouble is, however much you need to work your body will not sustain this - however much you try.  Its already telling you.  I don't know what the answer is to that then.  You're doing 3 jobs - teacher, housewife and mum ..... all 3 are demanding.  Suffering because of the overworking will have an effect in the classroom ...... does the boss want that?

      I spent 16 years being ill (it wasn't work related) ..... but I just know I'd have done anything back then to have recovered.

      My son's girlfriend is a teacher (senior school) ...... and know she preps too sad  

      Are you in the UK or US?

       

    • Posted

      Hi Lily

      Ah yes - the fabulous book!!!  Thought you were talking about the same one biggrin

      Yes its always good to refer to the website or book at times - rereading things helps to confirm it inside of you and is great comfort knowing you're not the only person going through this.

      That's the right way too - ignoring the symptoms and getting on with things.  Pay the symptoms attention and you make them important, so they'll hang around.  Boy ..... not easy is it ..... but yes, it does get easier.

      When I recovered my symptoms came and went (blips) and the last symptom to go was early morning anxiety when I woke.  I had that every days until about 6 months ....... during that time I woke with anxiety, but the rest of the day got easier.  At 6 months I woke and it had gone!!!!!  From there on though I still had blips appear occasionally, but they were easier and shorter and eventually stopped completely.

      Absolutely onwards and upwards ....... cheesygrin

      K xx

    • Posted

      Uk. Workload is a serious problem in the profession here. We do at least have a haft term week coming up - I shall try to use some of it for rest and recreation. 
    • Posted

      Yes I'm the UK too.  Half Term is looming - seems only yesterday it was the summer holidays!!  Hope you get some rest during that week ...... and have serious words with the boss ....... he may find himself without some of his staff some day otherwise sad

      K x

  • Posted

    So glad you put this on Kate. Maybe you go to your books, I go to Katecogs for my reassurance - cheesygrin
  • Posted

    Thanks so much have downloaded Claires book and it is helping as are your other posts thanks so much for your support x x
    • Posted

      Katecogs makes the most sense ..iam so great full to have found her.....
    • Posted

      Ah those books are brilliant - I've also messaged you with the newest book from a different author and believe he's based his work on hers.  The books help me recover along with the meds after suffering for 16 years.  Understanding what was happening to me took away a lot of the mystery and a lot of the fear too.  I still had a way to go, but it was a start and everything started to make sense.

      K

    • Posted

      Haha - that last message re books was meant for Gilip and somehow posted it to you too cheesygrin
    • Posted

      Ah those books are brilliant - I've also messaged you with the newest book from a different author and believe he's based his work on hers.  The books help me recover along with the meds after suffering for 16 years.  Understanding what was happening to me took away a lot of the mystery and a lot of the fear too.  I still had a way to go, but it was a start and everything started to make sense.

      K

    • Posted

      Haha my husband would disagree about me making sense a lot of the time cheesygrin cheesygrin cheesygrin
    • Posted

      Lol...I know the husband jab...my husband would ask me how can they make sense when there in the same situation your in..I would just laugh...
    • Posted

      My hubby says half the time my head is buried in my laptop or a book so I miss-hear what he's saying and answer with something completely different.  Mind you my husband doesn't make sense half the time either ....... and thats just down to age!! haha cheesygrin

    • Posted

      Hi Katecogs. I would appreciate the name of new book. Could you p m me the info. Thanks. 

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