Anxiety at an all time high
Posted , 11 users are following.
Hello Lovelies,
First I hope everyone is healthy and avoiding this virus!!
This is more of a venting post to distract my anxiety. As if menopause isn't bad enough, I just got a call from my hubby's nursing home, they've been hit by the virus... I'm beyond terrified. My hubby has massive brain damage from an accident 16 yrs ago. He's a total care patient, meaning he can do absolutely nothing for himself, he breathes on his own but he can't talk or communicate in any way, hes given his meds and liquid food thru 2 different feeding tubes, he can't move, he wears adult diapers. He's had pneumonia over 50 times in the last 16 years and has congestive heart failure from having 2 back to back cardiac arrests after the accident, so to say he's high risk is an understatement. The home won't tell me if the employees that are sick handled him. He is awake and alert but trapped in his head, he smiles, cries, and responds to me and tries to talk, to no avail. I haven't been able to see him in a month bc of the virus and I'm beyond terrified!! My anxiety is taking over right now, I can't decide if the hot flashes are meno related or anxiety related. Since the call my bladder has decided to go crazy, I'm nauseated, the dizziness has hit a peak. My symptoms seem mild compared to a lot of you but right now I feel the world closing in on me. I've never felt my emotions going over the edge this bad, even when he had his accident like they are now. I've taken my nerve pill and it's doing nothing. None of my distraction methods are working. I was actually having a decent day until that call.
Sorry for the long post, I don't have anyone to vent to since my mom passed 11 months ago and I don't want to worry my dad, hes not in good health. I'm putting my faith in the good Lord above, and could use some good vibes that my hubby doesn't get exposed. Thanks for listening! Please stay safe!
0 likes, 22 replies
Sgt.lindalee Gigi368
Edited
Hi Gigi, I am so sorry about your hubby, how heartbreaking....maybe they can send you pictures or are you able to see him through his window? some facilities allow family to phone ahead and view through windows from outside, maybe the staff can put the phone by him so he can hear your voice? It must be so hard...if coming on here, even just to vent, helps you, keep doing it...My deepest sympathies for the loss of your Mom, I hope you have wonderful memories to comfort you!! Hopefully your Dad is managing okay, you certainly have a lot of stressful things going on in your life...do you think a counsellor might help? Try to take care of yourself and as hard as it is, its okay to smile or laugh, do things that make you happy and distract you, find NEW things make NEW friends get a hobby, you need to get through this...you can, you will...I know you are a strong person, just by what you have already been through...don't lose your FAITH, you need him more than ever, we ALL do!! Praying for your family...BEST WISHES💒🌈🍀🎶☮♾🐾💐✝️🎀🐰
Gigi368 Sgt.lindalee
Posted
The pic I posted of him was taken by one of his nurses. His window faces an enclosed court yard that can only be accessed thru the facility unfortunately. I'm already on meds for my anxiety, have been almost all my adult life. And it doesn't help the stupid meno symptons 😑 I used to see a counselor, but stopped when he moved his practice to a neighboring state. I've tried a few others but all they want to do is add more meds and I don't want that. I have a fear of meds and what I take usually works. But right now not so much. I'm just going go keep praying for the best.. and try to stay busy around the house and bug his nurses for updates. I'm going to find out if I can facetime him.. he cant see very well but it'll put my mind at ease.
patti56271 Gigi368
Edited
Hi Gigi,
You are extremely brave to say the least. It is understandable that you will be anxious and scared. Like all the ladies have mentioned prayer and having faith in GOD will help. Do you do yoga or meditate? I have been meditating and taking deep breaths and thinking positively which helps me a little bit. Hopefully, our prayers will be heard and we will overcome this
Gigi368 patti56271
Edited
I can't sit still when my anxiety gets going.. usually I clean, my mind is so distracted with worrying that even that isn't working. I took a walk around the block today. That helped for a little bit. But you're right.. Its in Gods hands and I'm praying very hard.
Gypsy014 Gigi368
Edited
Hi gig i I'm saying a prayer for you! these days with this virus and everyday meno symptoms can leave us so full of anxiety that it absolutely overwhelms us, we have to take time to just breathe and try and tell yourself we will make it thru all this Dennis too.. he is very strong and God has kept him here in your life for a reason only he knows.. my dad was in a car accident many years ago during a rain storm, he hit a utility pole it came down on his car trapping him in the car his head /brain was smashed and was in a coma for six weeks, he had several brain surgeries feeding tubes all of it.. he learned how to walk and talk again but with his traumatic brain injury he walked with a limp / drag to one side of his body and had the mentality of a young child.. from then on we had to do and think for him in every daily situation.. eventually us children all grew up and my mother went on to marry my step father , who by the way ended up bed ridden with colon cancer the last 2 years of his life so that was very hard taking care of him, but back to my real dad , my sister and I cared for our dad our entire adult life with his condition, and he was wheel chair bound the last 15 years as his condition just deteriorated after while.. but we made it all work and we loved him so much, the last few years of his life he lost the ability to really do anything no more talking or walking but he smiled and squeezed our hands and he knew he was loved ❤ we post him this past November he lived to 80
Gypsy014
Posted
we lost my father this past November he was 80