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Hi! I'm new to this forum. I've been dealing with anxiety issues lately, it's been about 3 months from and I am not getting better at all. This all started from stress when all of a sudden I had this weird sensation and it led me to thinking I was losing control. The next few days I became really depressed and started depersonalizing, I didn't know what I was feeling at first but I just felt incredibly weird, not myself, and it came to the point that I started getting foggy and my memory became impaired. Talking was the hardest for me, I felt like any moment I was gonna go crazy. This went on for about a month, the feelings of going crazy never went away. Googling obsessively was one of my biggest problems, still is. I've had feelings of unreality, things around me that used to appear normal seem weird to me now. One of my biggest fear was schizophrenia, that I'm gonna start hallucinating sooner or later, that I'm gonna be delusional, but that went away for a bit. My anxiety seem to have gone down since school started, but it was still there. I would still question things around me, when my anxiety elevates, I start performing weird tics from OCD like having to look up or shake my head, weird, I know. Lately I've been so frightened by being hyperaware, like who gets scared of their own self/existence? I'm also weirded out by my actions and everything I do. Everything around me seem to look weirder the fact that I'm aware they exist, I'm aware of my own consciousness which is also weird, then I start questioning why us everything the way it is, why we are the way we are, it's like I'm living in my own head. I've also been having these weird sensations where I would just be doing something then I'd feel off/wrong for a second, like a feeling of I should've done something, or I have an underlying thought but I can't figure out what it is or like my perception of things become so weird, I'm just weirded out at that moment, sort of like a "whoa that's weird" sensation. This sets me to panic because I literally don't know what's going on with me, I feel as if I'm losing control of my thoughts and in my prodromal stage of schizophrenia, I know funny. I've never hallucinated or have delusions, but I obsess over those symptoms so much that I think I have them. Does anyone have this weird sensation I've been having lately? Or at least know what explanation there is for that? I just feel weird, I just went on a schizophrenia forum and this guy talked about how in his prodromal stages, he'd wake up feeling like he shouldve done something or there was something missing, and of course I start thinking what if im the same. I literally feel like I'll never be able to recover and get worse, I've been to a therapist and I have an appointment with her next month, but I don't think she specializes in depersonalization or OCD, and she thinks I'm fine but I just don't think I am. ): Help!
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