Anxiety much worse in the morning!

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I hope all is well with you at the moment.

Sam x

The suns out here, but not for long i'm sure.

Sam x

Hi Marlene. It seems like you're getting it from all directions. I've have IBS as well as Crohn's disease. Stress sends me right into the bathroom. Lately everything I eat comes out 20 minutes later. When it's real bad I feel completely drained and like someone punched me in the abdomen.

I haven't hit menopause yet (I'm 49). But I dread it because I heard that it can make your mental illness worse. I'm probably starting peri-menopause because every so often I'll get hot flashes. My periods are still sort of regular but really crampy and heavy flow. Leaves me feeling drained afterwards.

My mom used to swear by black cohosh for the menopause symptoms. I forget what the other herbal thing was. But there is a few herbal supplements specifically targeted at menopause.

Did the valerian help with the tinnitus? Has your doctor put you on any medications. I can't remember off the top of my head what the medication is, though. (I used to work for a GP)

I take Prozac and lamictal in the mornings for my depression and mood stabilsation. In the evening I take amitriptyline (depression and sleep), another lamictal, melatonin (for sleep, and it really does work) as well as benedryl (I have the worst time falling asleep). I see a new psych provider in a few weeks and I'm hoping that maybe we can find something that will work for my anxiety. 

I've also noticed some real memory problems. I'll forget a word or what I want to say. I forget to do things. I lose things. But other things of the more routine variety I'm ok with. I think it's the anxiety. Or the depression. Or both. Have you noticed anything like that with yourself?

How are you with your perimenopause? Have you completely recovered after 3 years?

I realise this is an old post and probably not followed, but thought I'd throw in my two cents worth anyway. I used to be like you when I was little. I'd throw up every morning and would feel like someone was choking me. I couldn't even wear turtle necks in the winter because I felt like I was being strangled. In those days you were just called "a nervous child" and that was that.

As I've gotten older, I still dealt with anxiety, but not to the extent it is now. I'm an overthinker as well. I was diagnosed as OCD because of my constant worrying thoughts and such. I also have generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, major depressive disorder with suicidal ideation, and probably (but not diagnosed) PTSD. 

I've gotten to the point that just leaving the house makes me a nervous wreck. Before I lost my job, I would have complete meltdowns in the morning begging to let me stay home. Even if I have a slow and gradual start, it's still hard. And lately, I've been waking with horrible anxiety that lasts through the day. 

I'm not working anymore and it's just my husband working. Money is tight and we live paycheck to paycheck. This morning he got all mad at me because I'm not working. I can't find a job. I've been looking. I did back out of some job interviews a while ago because I just couldn't do it. I'm no slouch. I've always worked. I have an occupational degree as a medical assistant and I have a slew of college credits. I'm intelligent and a hard worker. I just can't handle a stressful job. I can't deal with even the tiniest amount of stress. It sends me into a panic.

My unemployment benefits run out in a few weeks. I've filed for disability but that takes upwards of 2 years before it's even looked at. So that just adds to my anxiety. 

I feel so alone sometimes. I get angry over my life and lately I keep wishing I were dead because I just can't cope anymore. I don't have any friends, except the ones on Facebook. And they're not really "friends" per se. Just people that are aquaintences. I wish my life would just go away.

I'm the same way. I have had anxiety and depression for 12yrs now although I've only acknowledged it for about 5. The past year I've been doing pretty good but the past 2 weeks I've gone off the deep end again and it's frustrating. I was put on medication a few days ago and I am miserable. I wake up every morning and I am a wreck, crying, dry heaving, I usually don't eat until I settle down mid day, I have hot flashes. Lately I've been walking into work crying and I'm sure my coworkers are tired of me bawling all the time. I hate how you can be doing good for a period of time and then all of the sudden bam! your anxiety comes back all over again.

Yup. I know the feeling. When I was working, my boss (a physician) would push me to the edge and I'd wind up in the bathroom sobbing my eyes out. On a couple of occasions I've just up and walked out because I couldn't deal anymore. The only reason she fired me is because she closed her private practice and went with an established one. She said she could no longer tolerate my "temper tantrums" and "outbursts" (even though she was the one that caused it and I have office mates who would testify to that). She so "graciously" "allowed" my unemployment claim to go through even though she could have denied them on the grounds of insubordination. 

And I know what you mean about it just coming back after doing well. Up to this point I was able to handle my depression and anxiety. I'd do the "suck it up buttercup" and the "fake it till you make it" on a daily basis. My daughter is the same way (she has depression and PTSD). You try to hold it together the best you can and get through your day. 

So now I'm this mental mess who can't function. Nobody really understands unless they've gone/going through it. I'm sorry I'm not working. I'm sorry I'm not a contributing member of this household. But I was the one holding everything together for the last 5+ years, even putting up with my husbands' drug binges (he's a "dry addict" and goes on binges for a weekend. He'll just up and disappear without a word and no one knows where he is and he doesn't answer his phone). His daughter and one of my sons has disowned us. I no longer get to see my grandbabies, either (my son has 2 step-children and a baby with his wife). 

I think his last binge this past Feb is what through me over the edge. One day he was supposed to pick me up from work. I had called to say that I would be getting out early. He said he'd come get me. (He would spend his days with his buddy who's disabled now due to a horrific motorcyle accident). After about an hour, when he didn't show. I called his buddy. He said that he had left a little bit ago and would probably be there soon. Well, 3 hours past. Tried calling hubby to no avail. By the time I called his buddy back I was a hysterical mess. He'd never done this to me before. It was not his "standard m.o." (he would usually disappear on a Friday when I was at work and had a car then). By that Friday I had actually called the cops and filed a missing persons report. My son and his wife came down to help me. That night I got a call from the detective saying that he found my husband but that he was told that my husband had said he wasn't sure if he wanted to come home. When the detective told me where he was, both my sons went there and grabbed our van (first time he'd done that). He finally came home late that night (his buddy's wife called me to say he was there with them and if I still wanted him home they'd bring him home). 

This was the third time he'd done this to me. I told him the last time that I may not be so inclined to take him back if he did it again. He said he didn't want to risk losing the grandbabies and everything we've worked for. But like an idiot I took him back, hence losing my son and grandbabies. I've been told by a few people in an addicts group I'm in on fb that I probably have a form of PTSD. I worry every day that this stress is going to make him start using again. I dread tax time (because that's when he goes on his binges..but only every 2 years). I keep telling him that. But he says he doesn't think about it until I bring it up, so stop talking about it. I know I can't control his actions and that it's not my responsibility for his sobriety. But I guess growing up in a household that I wasn't wanted makes me feel like I'm to blame for everything. 

At this point I wish I could just give up. My brain deals with overwhelming circumstances by making me want to end my life because I see no other way out. Everything feels hopeless at the moment.

Sorry for rambling on.....

I used to get immobilized by morning anxiety, and then I found myself in a relationship while I was in temporary remission with a so called "dry addict" which is just a term like "sucessful racism" or "gratefully raped" it's all wrong and it lets people get away with their b.s. so much MORE they end up pulling soft targets like ourselves in. I've got a bunch of college credits for being a counselor social worker and was 2 away from my actual degree so I am not a professional. But I wouldn't be surprised if you DO have PTSD as well. I already had issues from ann earlier incident and my binge addict has restoked the fires of my furnace. I spent the night at my mom's so the anxiety shot me awake. But if I was at home, I would be feeling nearly as powerless and looking at all I've done that I have lost in this mix of my life partner choice and then my bipolar and anxiety problems. I have been seeing a counselor weekly since July and he is actually doing something to mobilze me to see past NOW and even to want to. I don't know how long you've been married to yours or how old your son together is,but I see we've both had grandchildren and I'm 43. I read your post and I subscribed to specifically reply to yours. People always say to single people with depression how the answer isn't going to be in someone else..It's sometimes the compound equations that created the questions which became other problems are made of the things that we let someone else close to us continue to do because it was not that bad,or that's just how he is, or it could be worse and it's not fair. To ourselves. I came into this world with my own circus, I ain't got room for no more monkeys! Just wanted to reach out to remind you that I hear you. YOU, behind the doctor alpha personality jerk boss and dry addict empathy-devoid spouse and kids trying to draw boundaries so that THEIR children will have a little less chaotic childhood than they have had, I still see you and you deserve a little more time to be validated and not taken for granted including by yourself. You're still in there so you gotta do that and don't give up what you have to answer for the partner who doesn't seem to have your back. What would happen if you went missing for a couple of days? I'm obviously biased but the post hit a little nerve and I was mad at the people who seem like they're not aware enough to sense the fact you have feelings. It made me less anxiety riddled and a little emboldened. Sorry for venting I realize I have not been given the other factors but still, you're not insignificant. Remember that much. ?

Hi,

I am not sure how old your comment is, but I would still like to respond. Your post is exactly what I deal with, except the suicidal ideation part. I live with so much anxiety, OCD, PTSD, etc.! I wake up in the morning and my heart is racing. My mind goes crazy, I can't eat (5'1"- 101lbs), my thoughts are so random, I stress over the stupid things I have done in my life, my husbamd bexam disabled, we are barely making it, he doesn't want me to work, he gripes when I spend money, and it all just sucks. I do not wish I was dead beause I have 3 amazing sons and I know they need me. It would be selfish for me to want to leave this world, but I am so sick of feeling this way everyday. Does anyone have any suggestions???

Hi I have read your post I suffer from health anxiety and the fear of death and dieing I wake up every day with this thoughts I tell myself I don't want to wake up because I no I have got to get through the day I don't no why I think the way i do i am in counselling At the moment and I prayer every night before I go to bed everyday I wake up with anxiety till I go to bed and I think about my heart most days I jest want to be normal and think like a normal person I hope you are ok godbless