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I'm 22 years old with a history of severe depression. I have spent a lot of time in therapy which has been wonderful - I wish I could afford it at the moment because my anxiety is getting on top of me.
I have many rational worries - from if I have left the car unlocked to if I have left the iron on. I also have very irrational worries which I have never voiced out loud. One recurring thought is that I will accidentally cause a car accident. Sometimes I worry so much about this that I have to check my rear view mirror for signs of an injured cyclist or a car that has swerved. If I leave my bedroom to go to the toilet of an evening I have to turn the light on to check that nobody is hiding in the dark and waiting to assault me. It sounds absurd and I am so ashamed but sometimes I wake up and check the lock hasn't been broken because for a split second I feel as though somebody has been in my room.
Today I convinced myself there was somebody else in my (empty) house. I checked all of the doors to find they were locked and began to rationalise that they had found a way through a window. My first thought was to find something to use to defend myself...I quickly brushed this off.
I feel like I am no longer in control and it is interfering with my life. I experience crippling chest pains to the point where I have been hospitalised, I had to leave work on Monday with similar symptoms. I am literally sick with worry.
I'm sorry for the length of this post, I would just like to know that I'm not going crazy.
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