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Anxiety, panic attacks and constant worrying.

Posted , 7 users are following.

lou1991
lou1991

I'm 22 years old with a history of severe depression. I have spent a lot of time in therapy which has been wonderful - I wish I could afford it at the moment because my anxiety is getting on top of me.

I have many rational worries - from if I have left the car unlocked to if I have left the iron on. I also have very irrational worries which I have never voiced out loud. One recurring thought is that I will accidentally cause a car accident. Sometimes I worry so much about this that I have to check my rear view mirror for signs of an injured cyclist or a car that has swerved. If I leave my bedroom to go to the toilet of an evening I have to turn the light on to check that nobody is hiding in the dark and waiting to assault me. It sounds absurd and I am so ashamed but sometimes I wake up and check the lock hasn't been broken because for a split second I feel as though somebody has been in my room.

Today I convinced myself there was somebody else in my (empty) house. I checked all of the doors to find they were locked and began to rationalise that they had found a way through a window. My first thought was to find something to use to defend myself...I quickly brushed this off.

I feel like I am no longer in control and it is interfering with my life. I experience crippling chest pains to the point where I have been hospitalised, I had to leave work on Monday with similar symptoms. I am literally sick with worry.

I'm sorry for the length of this post, I would just like to know that I'm not going crazy.

1 like, 20 replies

20 Replies

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  • jmcg2014
    jmcg2014 lou1991

    Posted

    Hi Lou

    No indeed,your,not crazy,nor are you alone. Anxiety does all of these things to us, they are unbearable yes. But also very common.  If,you can,deal with the root anxiety,either with,meds,or therapy these things will subside. Its a,terrible thing to,live with,,I'm,still trying every day 

    • lou1991
      lou1991 jmcg2014

      Posted

      Thanks for replying, I already feel so much better for just writing it down. I think I need to look into returning to therapy.
    • jmcg2014
      jmcg2014 lou1991

      Posted

      Therapy is a great place to resolve issues, I couldn't be without it
  • Paulb231286
    Paulb231286 lou1991

    Posted

    Hi Lou, no you're not going mad, I have had the same symptoms for almost 6 months now and until I realised it was anxiety was terrified, the thoughts are still there but better, I'm on propronalol which helps alot. I also bought a book called "at last a life" by Paul David which is superb, explains all the symptoms of anxiety, regards scary irrational thoughts it says to let them sit there and not be scared or think anything of them and in time they will lessen with this approach. There is also an app you can download called anxiety no more also a website. I'm trying mindfulness at the moment too which is good so far. All the best Paul smile
    • lou1991
      lou1991 Paulb231286

      Posted

      Thank you so much for the resources, I'll be sure to look into them. I am familiar with mindfulness but have never committed to it. I'm enjoying a daily yoga practise at the moment so I could try to incorporate some meditation.
  • anneporter
    anneporter lou1991

    Posted

    You are not alone.  I am 63, and I have been like this forever. When my partner goes out at night, i go straight upstairs and check all the rooms, wardrobes, even under his desk, in case anyone has sneaked in the front door.  BUT I have managed to control the anxiety I used to feel and got it to a manageable level, most of the time.  i can laugh as I look -well almost.  I know I'm irrational, But many fears are rational, just you have them out of perspective. Like leaving the iron on.  You need to think what is worst case scenario, can i cope with it.  Also have a checklist (you have probably been told this sort of thing,) and pin it to the front door, tick each thing off as you check it and consciously register in your mind that you are doing so. The worst thing that can happen is you burn the house down, many people have coped with losing their homes, it happens all the time. This is just astart for how you must work through this.  Write down all your worries, look back over it in a year, and think, did any of the things I feared happen.  We only get one life, please try. And try meditation, find a class. 
    • lou1991
      lou1991 anneporter

      Posted

      Thank you for replying Anne. I've never experienced anxiety on this scale so I've never used a checklist. That's a great idea, I'll give it a try. I'm experimenting with yoga at the moment so meditation would pair well I imagine, I'll look into some classes.
  • steadfast
    steadfast lou1991

    Posted

    You are not going crazy.  With all the violence in the world and all the ways to hear about it, no wonder you double check safety measures.  However, most of what we worry/anxious about never happens.  Think "This is not likely to happen."  Paranoia is caused by the environment in which we live.   Once you know that your doors and windows are closed and locked, make a mental note that they are and try not to second guess yourself.  When I drive off from my home, sometimes I get the thought "Did I leave the water running." Then I say to myself "I always turn it off."  Find ways to affirm yourself.  Take deep breaths.  Read therapueatic books.
    • lou1991
      lou1991 steadfast

      Posted

      Thanks for your input. I imagine it takes a while to build up that trust in yourself - it is second nature to me to second guess myself. I will try to use affirmations.
  • gloria15237
    gloria15237 lou1991

    Posted

    if it continues to take over your life, OCD,( obsessive compulsive behavior),-- therapy and medications do help; i have had OCD since a child and biofeedback plus medication have helped me tremendously
    • jmcg2014
      jmcg2014 gloria15237

      Posted

      Biofeedback sounds interesting,do you mind telling how it works? 
    • gloria15237
      gloria15237 jmcg2014

      Posted

      when in my late 20's i was forced to see a psychiatrist for a self inflicted wound; the doctor put me on anti depressants which were needed for a chemical imbalance and then also would videotape me during our sessions and then would let me view them at our next sessions...I could not believe that was me...I didn't realize  i looked like that (too much make-up) or acted so hostile and sarcastic..by the end of about 10 sessions i actually changed to be functional and quit getting into relationships that were self destructive; i put myself through school and started thinking more logically then emotionally; i am not going to say my life was perfect, but i was able to quit being co-dependent on men and be comfortable in my own skin; the doctor said something that i will never forget; something like-'we don't want to change your entire personality-just the destructive parts'
    • lou1991
      lou1991 gloria15237

      Posted

      Hi Gloria, I have always thought I was just a worrywart but as the worrying has become more intense I have started to wonder whether I am experiencing symptoms of OCD. Thank you for your response.
    • jmcg2014
      jmcg2014 lou1991

      Posted

      Worrying constantly, particularly worrying about health is most certainly a symptom of ocd. Ocd itself is very common with anxiety in general and for many when the anxiety lessens,so does the ocd
  • anneporter
    anneporter lou1991

    Posted

    Hows it going Lou? Anne
    • lou1991
      lou1991 anneporter

      Posted

      Hi Anne,

      Thanks so much for asking.

      I still suffer with anxiety and have had two panic attacks since my last post here. I have also had to leave work on two separate occasions (unrelated to the panic attacks) because I had chest pains that were so intense, I could no longer concentrate.

      I am allowing myself those few seconds of doubt to check that I turned off my hair straighteners, etc, and I then remind myself that I have turned everything off, locked the doors and can enjoy the rest of my day. More of a mental checklist than what you had suggested for me but it appears to do the trick.

      How are you?

      Lou

    • anneporter
      anneporter lou1991

      Posted

      Lou, I get chest pains and its costochondritis.  Also when I was in my twenties, i remember collapsing with chest pain in the ladies in our doctors and he was rushed out of his surgery to see me - I was sitting on the floor in the ladies crying.  i was under a lot of stress from my inlaws at the time, and that was the cause. there can be many causes of chest pain.  I'm glad you are tackling the anxiety a bit.  looking over the posts there is certainly lots of advice, and I do strongly recommend a journal and meditation.  Keep in touch. Talking to everyone here, and knowing you are not alone will help.x
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