Anxiety? Perimenopause? Both? Overwhelming Physical Symptoms.

thanks for the hug, anxiousface....i'm finding it very helpful to read about the experiences other people have had with these symptoms....sometimes i think the worst part about feeling this way is how lonely it can be...no one who hasn't been through it can understand how scary (and real) the physical symptoms are...even my close friends and family have told me to "pull it together, it's just anxiety"....if only they knew how badly i'd love to do that!!

i'm totally agree with you and millette, no one does understand that hasn't been or going through this horrendous life changing and yes very scary time.  I feel very alone also but i get a lot of help and advise from this site. 

Hiya Anxiousface,

It's when I first started with these experiences last year and I received a comment from what should have been a good friend of mine saying "I wouldn't mind having a melt down like you" and another so say good friend telling me to be careful not to keep telling people that there is something wrong with me when there isn't really because I won't be taken seriously if there was anything genuine one day" both of these comments are still raw to me. I wasn't making up how I was feeling but trying to explain that something just felt different inside. Both of these friends haven't experience what we are going through even though they are the same age as me and could. Even my own Mum was telling people that I had medical issues. We don't need people like that in our lives at time like this as hearing these types of comments from people that should had cared about was really difficult to hear. But I have picked myself up and thought I have wonderful friend in my husband and I can even share my experiences with his best friend and luckily I do have a true friend who is a fantastic listener and who is also going through the same as us. Keep yourself away from negative and stressed out people and try and surround yourselves with happiness and with the love and support of others that really do care about you and do empathise with what you are experiencing then we will continue to find the strength to keep strong. Have a wonderful day each and everyone of you! Hugs to you all! Xxx this site has truly given me the strength to share with others my experiences so that their journey may not be as scary as ours started out! Xxx

hi snatchpiece how are you today? i found it very sad reading your post about your friends, i don't really have many friends but the one i do have likes to tell me i need to stop feeling like i do and get bon with my life, i know shes means well but how do we stop it.  I'd cruely like just either my friend or sister to just have a a week feeling how i do then they may feel differently about their comments to me or just ignoring me.  I have no mum to go to and don't know what she would of been like going through the menopause as she died at 45yrs. Its sad you Mums saying that but i think thats exactley what my sister says about me, at least you have your fantastic friend who supports you cos we only want someone to talk to at times we know they can't fix us.  I'm dreading tomorrow going into work as i have a new 17yr old assistant starting and i don't know what she'll make of me when i go dizzy, have 4 day headaches and all other symptoms i go through but usually on my own.

I'm actually having a good weekend, i went food shopping on my own yesterday (small shops only) and today my husband and i have been into town to a few shops then lunch at our local garden centre which was really nice as i wasn't wanting to get out and get home all the time so loving it while it lasts cos i know it won't be long ( sorry to be negative)  hope your weekends going ok.  bigger hugs back x

Hiya Anxiousface,

Aww sorry you don't have to feel sad for me cos since all of this has started I have learnt who are the people I need and want in my life right now. I feel sorry for them really because if they truly were my friends or really knew me that well then they wouldn't have made those comments. At a time like this we need to have people around us that will sit and listen to how we are feeling and not thinking that we need a straight jacket!! Ha!ha! I have learnt so much in the past year but it is this site which I am the most grateful for having found because I have realised that it must be the peri as so many of us have experience similar things. One thing that is a real shame that even being in the 21st century that so many doctors cannot or do not know how to give us advice on how to cope with this journey without just dishing anti despresants when our previous history hasn't been bad. This is the easy way out. There should be a nurse or someone who is trained in what could be experienced and there should be some sort of medical test we could have that gives us some sort conformation that we have started this journey as I am sure knowing what we know now has helped us be less frightened!

I am glad you had a lovely day with your husband, that's what weekends should be about! 

I had a lovely day out with my friend and her daughter (who is five months pregnant) shopping. I think I need to go back to work for a rest!! oh too much walking this shopping lark! It was a tonic though!

I am sure if you find a good acupuncture this may well help you out in a lot of ways. It truly has been a god send to me. Luckily I do not take anti despresants but with the help of increasing my B6 and taking Menopol plus (which has fantastic reviews) I am feeling loads better. Keep in touch and massive hug to you and I will thinking about you at work tomorrow. Remember you will be fine and show her what you are made of!! Much love Joy xx

Hi anxiuos face 

I hope you don't mind but I have been reading your posts and feel exactly the same 😢 have things got any better for you sweetheart ? I feel like pure hell all the time I'm really fed up !!

Deb xx

Hello Debbie, its lovely to hear from you, i've not been on the site for a while as I went through an horrendous September and part of Oct with constant 24/7 headaches and dizziness, BUT for the first time in 2 years i am feeling so much better, i relish every day cos i know it may not last but at the moment things are good but of course I still fear being in big places on my own but I must say Debbie things have got better while feeling i'm in a panic attack for 2 years solid.  I'm so sorry to hear your having a bad time i know exactly how you feel and it fills me with fear to think your going through it but Debbie you will improve and things will get better but you have to fight through it to get stronger.  I set myself challenges and feel so proud of myself when iv done them which in turn makes me feel better.  I drove into town on night last week after work and went in several shops but i dont push it and go overboard i just take small steps at a time cos im so afraid of going backwards.  How are you feeling today hun? whats your symptoms? I'm not as worried about Christmas this year like i was the last two, what happens with you at this time. loved hearing from you and keep going cos you'll get there believe me i did and not long ago i couldn't see any light at thr end of this very long tunnel.  sending you a comforting hug x speak soon

Hi sweetheart 

so wonderful to hear your feeling much better 🙏 I'm not great today to be honest ! It's so strange somehow I'm better by the afternoon than I am in the mornings ? I wake up feeling like I've been run over, no enters and ache all over, not nice at all ! I just don't understand why I feel uptight and anxiuos mist of the time ? Did you take anything at all ? I have Diazepam which I use on very odd occassions ! Hugs to you and thnak you for replying xx

Hi anxiousface

Oops should have done a spell check !! Also it should say no energy ! Not 'enters'

Oh no thats not good feeling like that you poor love.  Yes i know the feeling of being uptight and anxious all the time and i have no answer to why we feel like that only that it must be our hormones.  I take Confiance vitimin tablets by Wassen there for menopausal women and i take Vit B6.  I was put on citalipran for six months in 2012 but didn't want to stay on it any longer as felt out of it. I can imagine you just wait for the morning to be over.  When i'm not good i found myself wishing the days/weeks away and thats really not good cos i was wishing my life away maybe thats why this year has gone so fast.  Even though i feel better i still lack energy and get tired very easly but my medication for hyprolactinema does that.  Oh dear what are we like hun.  the important lesson i have learnt is to take care of myself and give myself some me time which i never did before i was always trying to fit everything in at once and as i work full time it was getting stressful but im coping better now and you will too. chin up think positive thoughts and hope you feel a little better this afternoon. x  

Hi again,

I'mlucky I don't have a job to be honest because I would be phoning in sick more times than I would be actually going !! I find it hard to believe I actually feel this bad from what's supposed to a natural process !! I think I should start on B6 ? I just take iron and magnesium liquid at the moment . . . I'm looking for a powder form of B6 because I don't like tablets ? They have so many other stuff in them, just me I'm funny like that ! LOL

Dont mention Chrsitams 

I think I must be half asleep !! Sorry I pressed the reply before I had finished . .  I meant to say don't mention Christmas ! I've never been so far behind as I am this year . . . I think everyone will be getting money 😱

hugs Debbie x

Hi wearykitty.  I can relate to everything you are saying. My dips of anxiety started about 10 years ago and it's the most horrendous symptoms of perimenopause to go through.  That lonely feeling is so tue and as you said it is scary because family and friends don't understand that horrile feeling of dread.  I have found it very hard to get close to people over the past years because I can never trust what this body is going to do.  At the moment I am in another dip after having 6 just okay months.  It really does rule our lives!!!  I have just turned 50 so I pray my days of hell are close to being over.  Reading your post hit my heart and i dropped a tear for you,me and everyone going through this time.  I've got very good at crying over the years!!!! 

Take care and have belief that it will get better.  xxx

 

Yes, the lonliness and isolation can really exasserbate the symptoms... I don't have friends or family that have gone through or are going through any of this.  I didn't know where to turn.  My x-husband (still best friend) found this site for me.  I have been "stalking" it ever since!  LOL  Hope you get some relief soon!

 

I can so relate to the "friends' " comments... I got that too.  It has forced me into relative silence.  I work with nearly all men and the few women in my office are young.  My mom didn't go through this and one day when I was crying on the phone (literally sobbing) she told me to "snap out of it."  She did it in a "come'on honey, you're scaring me way..." but, still, if I could snap out of it, I would!

Hi this is the first time i have found this wonderful site with so many informed women which has been a great relief i have suffered from anxiety for most of my life so that wasn't a great surprise for me but this constant feeling so cold but pouring with sweat or the horrible clammy sweat is driving me nuts! I live alone with my little dog and even though i have 4 sisters (sadly lost our mum last year) i cant find anybody to really speak to about how iam feeling. I have other health problems as well and iam currently going through intensive light therapy for psoriasis (3 times a week) plus just had my big toe-nail removed very brutally which certainly didn't help matters so to be honest feeling very poorly and alone so finding this site has helped a lot. My GP who is lovely put me on HRT half eostrogen and half progesterone but it didn't help so i have spent what little money i have on vitamins and supplements really hope they help because family and friends dont seem to care. Anyway iam glad i have found you ladies and any help will be greatfully received because at the "pulling out of hair" point has arrived with vengence and to those with partners i hope they understand and help you because it's a major struggle alone and very scarey Xxx

I just started reading this sight and I am so glad I did. I don't know if you are still on or not. I was crying as I read through your posts. I am 48 years old and I can completely relate to your posts. I felt like I was alone in all this. I don't feel like myself anymore. The panic, anxiety and the feeling of being off balance seem to have stolen part of my life away. I never use to be like this. It is really hard to explain it to people. I told my husband the other day it feels like there is a big sign on my bedroom door that reads "leave at your own risk......danger danger" The dizzines and anxiety have been especially bad since the beginning of June. Reading about how you took little steps here and there was very encouraging. That's what I am trying to do as well. Went to the movies with my mom and husband the other day. Only had a small panic attack with some tears. Managed to pull myself together and enjoyed the movie and even stopped at Starbucks for a Decafe Treat afterwards. I was very proud of myself. Today I am more shaky and anxious. My daughter wants to go to Nordstroms Rack and just the thought of it terrifies me today. I will manage and then hopefully be proud of myself when I get home. I hope you are doing better as well. It's just nice to know I am not alone in this.

Take Care Debbie W.

Hi Debbie, I'm glad you are out there and reaching out and talking about how difficult this whole anxiety and Perimenopause "thing" is.

Since finding this site and doing lots of reading and talking to other women, I feel much less alone. I still feel as though my family don't get it, and most of my colleagues don't either (I work in an all female environment ), as I am nearly the oldest there. There are a couple who understand and when I have spoken to them, they give a smile of understanding and we talk and sometimes laugh, and I feel less mad and alone.

It's ok to cry, be fearful, unhappy and angry. This is huge, people on this site get it, message me if you want to.

It's going to take a while, but it's going to be ok. X

Thank You so much for replying to my response. How are you doing? I still have my good and bad days. I guess I need to learn to really appreciate my good days and do all I can then. The bad days are so very terrible. Thank goodness for this site and other women like yourself reaching out. It really helps to know other women are out there struggling with this dreadful transition too. I will be 49 in 5 months. I never ever thought I would be looking forward to getting older. I just want this to be over so I can be at the other end. So many other women who are over this say they have never felt better and get a new lease on life. I can't wait to be there😊😊😊. Hope this note finds you well and thanks again for responding 💛

Debbie W

Debbie

I am 47, and will be 48 this month.  I don't know why the numbers are important, since many doctors are telling me i'm too young for menopause, but I know my perimenopause started early to mid forties based on the symptoms you all are reporting.  I was pregnant with twins at age 42, and for the first year or so after they were born, I was fine.  I even had trouble sleeping because I worried about them at night, but soon after the bone crunching tiredness and sleeping way too much began.  I also was very anxious, but I chalked it up to my thyroid disorder.  Once I was put on the antianxiety medications, I was even more tired and found no meds that did not sedate me.  I quit them after trying different ones for two years.  Now I am tired, have started the night sweats, and just can't get motivated to do things.  I used to get so much done, and now I am exhausted all the time.  Meeting people equals dread for me, so I stay in a very small circle that mostly involves my kids activities.  I am going to my doctor to ask for HRT, but I see many of you are taking b vitamins as well.  It does sound like our medical systems aren't that different from the US and the UK.  Some docs don't seem to get the severity of symptoms, some tell me to have a natural menopause. I just need to find someone that will listen, but at times I feel that I don't have the stamina to keep going and asking for help!

No kidding!

All of this is so me too!

JUST anxiety? IF I hear that one more time I'll scream!

So me too but why is it so hard to stop worrying about it all. I make myself sweat with fear. Sick of it all. I want my old self back x

Hi Maureen. I am 51 and have battled anxiety most of my life. It in the last 1 1/2 years it's been too much of a companion. Scary thoughts, missed periods, 2 periods a month, lack of confidence and motivation, exhaustion, lack of concentration, heart palps now and then you name it! I've been blaming it on my life stresses ( my husband is vision impaired and on dialysis), but is a great listener. Then I blame it on fibromyalgia which I wonder if that is hormonal as well. Most of the time when my anxiety would peak and I'd get tearful it would be before I started my cycle. Now it seems to come and go whenever! I asked my gp about this and he said to just ride it out and increase my antidepressant. I am on them and have been for years. So frustrating!