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Anxiety ruining my relationship

Posted , 7 users are following.

Missamberbella
Missamberbella

Hi, I'm hoping someone can help me.

my anxiety is ruining my relationship. I've lived with my partner for just over a year but he's told me he's running out of patience with me.

I have severe anxiety, I've had CBT and counselling and I'm trying so hard to conquer this but I'm scared it may not happen in time.

I get anxious in social situations or when I get over tired and I take it out on him. I'm rude, spiteful and aggressive. None of these things are present when I'm not anxious. I continuously find myself looking for reassurance and freaking out massively if I haven't found it.

I've recently started having B12 injections and I feel more snappy since starting them.

If anyone has has a similar experience or an idea of what to do, I'd be so grateful.

Thank you 

0 likes, 19 replies

19 Replies

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  • Rahb01
    Rahb01 Missamberbella

    Posted

    Hi,i completely understand what youre going through.

    I recently have anxiety out of no where and it has been 5 months.for me its more of health anxiety.what about you?

    • Missamberbella
      Missamberbella Rahb01

      Posted

      Forgive me, I'm not too clued up on terms, what is health anxiety?

      Mine is just due to generally not feeling good enough due to my childhood

  • JamC
    JamC Missamberbella

    Posted

    I don't think this should be a reason to ruin your relationship. He's the most person you need help from and he needs to cooperate with you. 

    Try to do some exercise or go for a walk as that may help your anxiety by relieving your stress in another way rather with your boyfriend.

    You may also talk to a psychologist as there may be a reason this is happening to you and he/she will help you through it.

  • lindathepinda
    lindathepinda Missamberbella

    Posted

    Do you exercise regularly? Have hobby's in which you can find distraction and satisfaction? Go to a massage therapist? If not, start with all of them. CBT and counseling are great and necessary for contributing to solving anxiety, but they need to be accompanied by body work and personal development. You need to feel at home in your own body, to develop self confidence, and something nice to do just for yourself and the fun of it also helps a great deal in this.
    • Missamberbella
      Missamberbella lindathepinda

      Posted

      Hi Linda,

      Thanks for your message! I don't exercise at all at the moment or have a massage therapist. I would definitely agree that both would be extremely beneficial, it's just plucking up the courage to do either of these! Massage I could cope with (finances depending lol) but exercising would take a bit of work.

      Im going to have a look for a massage therapist now and then perhaps start walking tomorrow to ease me in to it.

      Thank you smile

    • lindathepinda
      lindathepinda Missamberbella

      Posted

      Great! Please let us know how that went for you.

      Don't forget to think about something to do which you enjoy, experiencing 'flow' is a great way to level out your stress system.

      Walking is the easiest and cheapest way to get exercise. It's lovely outside right now, enjoying the beautiful colors and breathing in some fresh air will definitely do you good, even if it's just for half an hour. Enjoy!

    • Missamberbella
      Missamberbella lindathepinda

      Posted

      Thank you smile

      My step son is coming to stay tonight (he's three and a half) so I was thinking we could go and do some leaf kicking lol

    • lindathepinda
      lindathepinda Missamberbella

      Posted

      Sounds great:-) , I am considering to get a dog, since I lack a small child to justify my leaf kicking. Being an adult can be a real bore sometimes.
    • Missamberbella
      Missamberbella lindathepinda

      Posted

      Aww dogs are great! I have a French bulldog but he now lives with my nan so she has some company!

      I love the autumn days, wrapped up, hat coat and scarf, wellies and go rustling in the leaves!!

  • Myrissasauras
    Myrissasauras Missamberbella

    Posted

    I have extreme anxiety and it is also do to health. I freak out so easily if anything seems wrong and will think I am dying or diagnose myself with something ridiculous. It should however not ruin your relationship. Someone who loves you will take you how you are. My fiancé is my number one supporter and helps me through anxiety. That's what your bed needs to do. Yes anxiety can cause aggression or to randomly lash out but he should understand that's when he needs to be there most, so if he cannot do that, I would find someone else. Anxiety is very hard to handle alone. Try finding a hobby. Whether it be at home or wherever. Your mind needs to be somewhere else. And like I said it would be helpful to have a supportive partner.
    • Missamberbella
      Missamberbella Myrissasauras

      Posted

      Thank you for your comment. It's been hard as he's been working away for the last 6 weeks so I really have been on my own. I find it hard to communicate with him about how I'm feeling as he doesn't really understand.

      Maybe I need to look for a way of him understanding it and then he'll be able to support me more.

      Thanks again

  • kristi.
    kristi. Missamberbella

    Posted

    I totally understand! As much as I absolutely love my boyfriend, having anxiety and your partner not understanding can create an amount of resentment. I know my boyfriend loves me, and I know he wants to help, but I can be SO mean when I feel he's not doing everything he should. Then, when he calls me out, I get even more upset. Sometimes it feels like you're just running around in circles. My best advice is to really reflect on this, take some deep breaths, and don't push those thoughts to the side or deep them as 'unimportant'. Your relationships are so important and we need to learn how to cope when things are rough. When I feel myself getting upset, I try to either leave the situation so I can take some deep breaths and think about his side of it.. or I try to push myself with everything I've got to just be vulnerable with him like I've never been able to before. Just explain your feelings and pain without sounding accusing and he should understand. They are important to us - but it's important to remember the only one who can make us feel better is ourselves. Can't put your happiness and well-being into another's hands! Hope you feel better.
    • Missamberbella
      Missamberbella kristi.

      Posted

      That's exactly how I feel! I love him and I know he loves me but when I'm throwing my anger at him and calling him awful names and being awful towards him I can completely understand that he can't always help himself but to take it personally (I know I would be exactly the same)
  • kristi.
    kristi. Missamberbella

    Posted

    Also. I think a big problem is the media saying that the man should be the one to fix you, hold you, let you yell at him and just take it because he understands, put everything aside for you. We have to remember they are humans, too. ♡
    • Missamberbella
      Missamberbella kristi.

      Posted

      Exactly. It's hard because I don't have to friends or family who suffer with anxiety and they are quick to blame him for not being there etc etc. But I totally see it from his side as well. It must be awful watching the person you love crumble in front of your eyes sad
    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 Missamberbella

      Posted

      If he is fed up he isnt supportive and im not sure if he is in love. Yo need to have supportive people around you that build you up make you feel safe and  encourage you to love yourself.
    • kristi.
      kristi. Missamberbella

      Posted

      So glad you are able to see both sides! Relationships are messy, and not one way streets. Of course, he should be supportive. But I'm glad you realize true happiness comes from within. You will get there! Being able to talk about it rationally and being open to help is a great start. We will both get there.
    • kristi.
      kristi.

      Posted

      Also, don't get down with people telling you this is the end. Relationships go through phases. If you feel you have been vulnerable and he has preyed on that, there's an issue and you need to be open with him. Sometimes just talking calmly is more helpful than anything. Bottom line: no one knows the full dynamic of your relationship here. You know how you feel about him. And you seem smart enough to know if it's right or wrong.
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