Anxious this morning

Madness isnt it still its good to know its not just me! Im starting to think my depression hasnt lifted enough to celebrate the good bits xx

How weird is it that i should feel anxious about feeling better! I dont have many emotions right now and it seems like Anxiety is the only one my brain knows! And im the same didnt have a problem doing the normal stuff at the time it was afterwards that i got anxious 😮 last night i slept for 6 hours woke up anxious because i thought well thats not normal simply because it hasnt been. Iv had counselling over the years but for my depression not Anxiety and yes im started CBT in the next couple of weeks i try to give myself little pep talks but this is a new feeling and im not quite sure what to say haha xx

How it effects us changes. The anxiety I personally find harder than the depression but everyone is different. I think for me therapy will.be too as it will help me to control the feelings when they come along. I do find talking about it really helps and this forum has been a lifesaver!! X

I totally agree that the anxiety is harder than the depression,what im finding hard right now is i dont know what im anxious about this is why im looking forward to seeing my therapist we between us can usually work out whats happening then i can work on it im quite good at that but i need to know whats going on first if that makes sense xx

Totally makes sense. I'm not anxious about anything in particular either. I suffer with stress related IBS too so when one starts the other one is right behind then it's a vicious circle. I'm hoping therapy will help. Take care x

Ibs? Me too! Hope your day gets a bit better 💜

Thanks. Off to work later and that usually helps. I like the routine of things. IBS and anxiety seem to come as a package with me . I have just got myself a weighted blanket....Google it if you have never heard of it. Supposed to help with anxiety and insomnia. I'll let you know how it goes x

Yes iv heard of them thought about it myself 😊 be good to hear if it works for you, yes i like routine too not that i really have any right now but i dont like change xx

I think when we feel like this and we don't have control or routine it messes with us x

Just plain crazy isnt it that we can be anxious about good things! I think thats all my brain is programmed to do right now so it reacts to everything anxiously xx

Yes, it comes from low self-esteem. A part of my brain must be ever vigilant, or something bad will happen while I'm 'self indulgently' feeling good. I believe the experts call it catastrophising. A dark sense of humour and laughing (sometimes hysterically) at myself helps. 

Ahh right i didnt know that about the self esteem obvs i dont have any of that either i had a conversation with my partner last night and without intentionally doing it something he said really hurt my feelings and then all night my anxiety was through the roof, connection i wonder?? X

I think there is a connection (generally speaking). People that are highly sensitive to criticism (and also highly anxious) don't have a high opinion of themselves. Criticism tends to reinforce their belief that they're not good enough. Or a remark that others might brush off becomes a preoccupation. If you don't believe that you're good enough, then you tend to filter out praise, and criticism is like confirmation of your fears. And when your worst fears (low opinion of yourself) are confirmed, then people get anxious that no-one will want to stick by them because they're not perfect. I might be reading too much into your situation, but I learned this in counselling.

Yep all of the above is me! Cant take compliments, criticism makes me self doubt myself and it makes me angry feeling that im not good enough deffo and also not believing ppl when they say something good about me iv had counselling over the years but have mostly worked on my depression not anxiety its something im looking forward to working on xx

This is so true.  Its exactly what i do.  Counselling at cbt hasnt helped me as these feelings are very entrenched in my being.  I cant seem to,shift them, its as if i was born with them and they wont go away which makes it difficult for the therapist.  Dont know how to get past these feelings:

highly sensitive

highly anxious

cant take criticism

not good enough

everyone else has a better life than me

low self esteem

no confidence

the end product has been anxiety based depression, so far treatment resistant.

must be something out there works for me.

It's a really tough habit to break. I'm better than I used to be and I can now recognise when I'm doing it. In CBT you'll learn about core self beliefs, which one's are healthy, which one's are toxic. Accepting your flaws is vital, easier said than done though, because it means trusting that people won't reject you. Low self esteem is typically learnt in childhood. Kids don't understand why bad things happen (like being bullied), so they blame themselves. It's a form of self protection, you're always monitoring yourself to see if you're good enough, but it becomes a trap. 

Hi Ann,

It's really hard to deal with, and like I said in another reply, low self esteem typically develops to protect you from rejection, that's what makes it almost literally take root in the brain. How long have you been receiving counselling?

The thing that makes mental/emotional issues so arduous to recover from is that you have to actively repair something that developed to help you cope, it's a big part of you, but it isn't entirely you. CBT can take a while, the key is not to lose hope or berate yourself. The fact that you have this is not proof that you're a failure/idiot/loser or whatever your negative inner voice loves to tell you. If you've been thinking this way for a long time it's hard to change. In regards to making comparisons with other people, that's not fair to yourself, because you often only see the good/happy/successful side of people. We don't always know how people feel, don't forget many people struggle with low self esteem while their lives seem perfect on the outside. Someone might look at you and compare themselves unfavourably with you. Don't lose hope!