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Anybody have weird intrusive dark thoughts when they are having a nice time?

Posted , 24 users are following.

juanita93228
juanita93228

I mean like you start worrying that the reason you are having such a good time is because this is the last time you'll see these people because something is going to happen to you or them? This is so awful! What is happening to me? Why can't I have a good time without these intrusive thoughts? 

Another thing, I used to plan trips like a year ahead of time. Friends would say "hey, lets plan a trip to Vegas or wherever, next year". I usually I would jump right in and say sure! Now I think, what if something happens and I'm sick or not on this earth? What if the plane crashes? I'm so afraid I won't be able to live out my dreams! I HATE being this way! How did I become this weak @$$ worrywart? Time is going so fast and I want to enjoy it! Ugghhhhhhh!!!!!!!

5 likes, 290 replies

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  • paulai
    paulai juanita93228

    Posted

    Most definitely I feel like my life is about to end (I just turned 50 which doesn't help) I never had to worry about my health or feeling crappy. Now I feel like my life is pretty much over... The day someone calls me a Senior citizen, I will literally die! I used always want to go places... Now. I'm lucky if I leave the house once a week to go to the store. I seem to cry a lot because my daughter is 19 now and still living at home still (thank god) but I dread the day she's going to tell us she's moving out. I won't hear her laughing anymore or get to hang out and watch tv.

    • juanita93228
      juanita93228 paulai

      Posted

      Well, I'm 58 and so far have not been called a senior citizen😂😂😂😂

      Enjoy your daughter while she's there cherish those moments. 50 is not old!!!!

    • katyD211
      katyD211 paulai

      Posted

      Aww you are NOT old!! But I totally understand your line of thinking. my thoughts go that way sometimes too...especially when I have too much free time on my hands!Stay busy, even if it's doing crosswords or watching movies. and when the day comes for your baby to move out, just think of all the fun you'll have helping her decorate and then visiting her!

    • jo67532
      jo67532 paulai

      Posted

      I know what you mean about having your daughter still at home with you! We are about to be empty nesters here. My youngest has done 2 years of college at home, but in just about 2 weeks she will be leaving home and living away at school. I get weepy just folding her clothes now sad It doesn't help to be going through this perimenopause at the same time. My husband seems so positive about her being independent and my daughter is excited about the new journey too...wish I could be as happy as they are!

    • paulai
      paulai jo67532

      Posted

      I know, right? Our daughter is in second year of community college then will be leaving. I try to prepare myself that the day is coming. I cry about everything and anything positive that happens for my daughter, i turn it into negative thoughts and I am truly depressing person to be around! What is going on with me??? My husband asks me if I'm going through mp.. And I completely flat out deny it.. Who am I trying to kid? My daughter doesn't like to share with me what's going on with her cuz I cannot be happy for her! Ugh!! I need to cherish my time with her now while I still have her But first I have to figure out how to snap out of whatever is going on with me! 

    • jo67532
      jo67532 paulai

      Posted

      I know exactly what you're talking about! Whenever my daughter is excited to tell me something about her day I don't seem as happy about it as I used to be. I end up sort of faking my excitement, so I don't make her feel bad. I'm trying to snap out of this, because I hate feeling like this. I wish I knew how long this phase of perimenopause lasts. Atleast if I knew there was an end to it, It might not seem so bad!

  • Moroa
    Moroa juanita93228

    Posted

    I thought i was the only one having those dark thoughts since been on menopause,  i have been experiencing all those negative and positive thoughts, but the negative always over powers the positive ones. 

    Juanita you are Overseas and am in South Africa but our problem are the same, meaning every women go thru menapause differently or mostly the same and this is very stressful. I hope you feel better and continue to enjoy life again.

     

    • juanita93228
      juanita93228 Moroa

      Posted

      I love this forum! The fact that I'm in the U.S. and you are in South Africa let's me know we women are connected going through this menopause craziness!!! Thank you for your kind words. I continue to pray and realize this is just a normal phase of a woman's life and I want to live to see what good things are to come!

    • lori93950
      lori93950 juanita93228

      Posted

      Yes I want to live too be happy again ... dont need a fanfare and fireworks every day but just that content feeling and being ok in your own body .... this stuff makes us all so weird. Feels like your not in your own body !! You don’t have control . 
  • MoodyNoire
    MoodyNoire juanita93228

    Posted

    During times of hormonal upheaval, like puberty, pregnancy, pms and now, peri menopause,  i’ve always experienced dark, doom and gloom premonitions that never come true, but of course feel real. It always and ruins what should have been great times. It always makes me feel like a weirdo because everyone around me is all positive and happy go lucky....ugh, I hate it too.
    • nanc00951
      nanc00951 MoodyNoire

      Posted

      Yes, I am having such a horrible menopausal time and I had a HORRIBLE postpartum depression with my first child.  

      As I have posted earlier in this thread, I do not allow myself to be happy.

      I agree with others that mornings are the worst. 

      And as you said, I feel like I am in another world when I am out and about because everyone seems to be living life.

    • juanita93228
      juanita93228 MoodyNoire

      Posted

      It's sucks the joy right out of you doesn't it? I'm sorry you have had these thoughts for such a long time. I suffered from panic attacks in my late 20's but got over them with prayer. But this? I feel like I'm in constant fight or flight mode!!!!  (((hugs))) to you MoodyNoire.

    • lori93950
      lori93950 nanc00951

      Posted

      Mornings are the worst and nighttime is the best I wonder why ? Sometimes I go to bed and say ‘right I’m back to normal , feel good , going to wake up feeling good’ then bam the next day .... it’s alll back ! The doom  depression and just plain dark feeling . 

      I drag myself out of bed and try to clean up and get motivated but it’s soooo tough . God help us !! 

    • andrea05399
      andrea05399 lori93950

      Posted

      This is exactly me every single day since this mess started about 3 to 4 months ago. I know it’s completely hormonal because the dark feeling in the morning with doom and gloom started exactly when my hot flashes started. The fatigue from not sleeping  through the hot flashes is horrible. I’ve started taking a tiny dose of Ativan right when I get up and this does help take the edge off. 
    • juanita93228
      juanita93228 andrea05399

      Posted

      I have Valium, but I only take it once or twice a week, more if it's a rough hormone week😂. Mornings are hard, now when I wake up I say "God thank you for this day". It helps to talk to him the minute I wake up.

    • MoodyNoire
      MoodyNoire juanita93228

      Posted

      Thanks Juanita, it's sad to know others are suffering but at the same time it increases your misery when there's no one you can talk that really understands. I really appreciate the members of this support like yourself that truly understand and share their experiences. It really helps lessen the feeling of isolation. 

    • lori93950
      lori93950 andrea05399

      Posted

      So you’re the same as me I just passed the 3 month stage of hell. I’m going to bed before it’s dark and feel like I’ve missed the whole summer . Let’s hope this all levels out soon we don’t have the luxury of time wasting away .... I just want to be happy content 😏

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