Anyone else feel helpless and like a burden to everyone?

Ahhh that's sad to hear ..8 weeks for me had a much less intrusive op to you thankfully. Keyhole ..my hubby and older kids were fab ....infact my hubby actually. Spends more time in the kitchen than he has in 22 years ..give him a kick in the butt 😞 x

I also felt awful & low , I was expecting to feel better after 10 days & when I still felt rubbish it put my self esteem even lower , the doctor told me to stop being hard on myself & I would feel better when I gave myself time to heal but you feel useless & yes a burden but my family was great & kept reassuring me that things would improve , it took about 4 weeks before I can honestly say I felt things were getting better , we are all so different but you must let your body heal at the rate it needs to & no rushing things .xx

Hi Kathryn i can totally empthise with this. My husband would be gutted if he thought  I was writing this a hes been a great support physically but emotionally not at all.

Like you this recovery has left me so many times in floods of tears and I know they say you'll be hormonal but its not just that. I found a  real lack of understanding of my emotional needs. My daughters provided my support emotionally. Feeling like a beached whale, with a funny shelf above my scar and having horrible bowel problems along with the pain made me feel that I  lost well... dignity on any level. It is very early days for you - it will get better x

Ahhh that's sad to hear ..8 weeks for me had a much less intrusive op to you thankfully. Keyhole ..my hubby and older kids were fab ....infact my hubby actually. Spends more time in the kitchen than he has in 22 years ..give him a kick in the butt 😞 x

Oh bless you, sorry your not getting the support from your husband at a time when you really need it. I would get the Internet up and show him all that is said when it comes to recovery, you need total rest and understanding right now. You have had a MAJOR operation and you need all the help you can get,at least for the first six weeks. My husband took 10 days off work too and said he was knackered doing the jobs I usually do but now I think he realised how much I do. Feel more appreciated now I think. I'm six weeks post op and have only just started drying a few pots up and light dusting, no heavy lifting tho as am scared ill have a prolapse, I had hysterectomy and bowel prolapse repair. Try not to let it all get you down and ignore any negative comments from your husband if you can. You will get down days in the beginning I did, quite a few, but then good days after the first few weeks. A good friend is often the thing you need most, someone to call round and give you a good laugh and forget what your going through, even if it's just for a few hours. Take care and keep looking on this site as everyone really helps you get through it all.x

Hi Kath I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. My husband works from home and has been great so far, I'm 3 weeks post op vaginal hysterectomy and prolapse repairs. I'm probably my own worst enemy I feel I should be able to do more and feel bad when I cant. Just do what you can and keep your chin up x

Hi Kathrynjs

So sorry you are having such a dreadful time of it all at the moment.  I don't have any experience to offer as I am still waiting (it seems like years!) for my op, but I am going to have!  I am my Husband's carer 24/7 so it is going to be particularly hard for him to cope, and when he is stressed his caring comes out as anger.  Is this a man thing do you think, rather than show their feelings?  I think a lot of men just do not know what to do with us or for us when we are out of action.  They are so used to us running the show, I think it is a very scary place for them when we are not on top form.  So sorry I am not offering you much reassurance but the Hyster Sisters on this site are wonderful people and they rush to help with all sorts of advice.  All I can say is hang in there, if it helps keep a journal and then you can physically see your improvements day by day, and as you get a bit stronger I think you will find your husband will calm down and things will start to get back to normal.  Just remember not to lift anything, and get lots and lots of rest.  

Warmest Wishes 

Jacqui 

I am feeling so useless myself right now, 4 weeks post abdominal hysterectomy.... Not too bad first thing but by 3 I'm pretty much useless at everything......I can cope with any pain/soreness but the incapacity and continued swells belly are the real cripplers for me..I feel like the strog, confident, reliant career woman is locked in a cupboard shakin in the corner....I can't see past right now and envisage getting back to my old self...I'm not so keen on the new self. When I was discussing my options pre op with the consultation she said that this would transform my life and I would feel like a new woman.....I have to tell myself that every day!

i was very sad to read your comments re hubby....I am not on my first marriage and have only been married for 18 months, so this all feels like a bit of a test for us......I constantly worry my hubby regrets signing up for this and will find some young, fit, fertile woman who does not have to wear big pants, looks like a pregnant elephant and has developed an obsession with her bowels!!!! However he does remind me he is an over weigtht middle aged man, and that I'm watching too many Jeremy Kyle shows!!!

my point is that we could all have the most supportive  husbands in the world ( although yours does sound like he needs a kick up the ass!!).....however I don't think anyone could have prepared us for what this really feels like, both physically and psychologically......hang in there, when you feel able try and talk to hubby about how your feeling...then if he's still bring an ass we will get a coach party up and hunt him down!!!!!!!........ Were all here for you xxx