anyone have their surgery in the past 2 weeks ?

Hi PRLady

I am 35 I'm going on my 2nd week so far so good. Glad to hear your doing so well. Im sure you will be very happy to get back to doing your normal things. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you get the much needed relief you need from your UTI soon I know how painful and uncomfortable those can be. Please keep us updated on your progress

Wishing you all the best

i hope  it feels a bit better today. Can you still phone the ward for advice? 

Don't worry stephanie it's very unlikely you have done any damage and the swelling will be a normal reaction to just overdoing things a bit. Swelling is normal anyway and you are doing the right thing by resting but don't be alarmed if it doesn't go down quickly because it's normal to have some swelling anyway.

Hi Kelly

I was advised not to do any pelvic floor until 4 weeks, just make sure that if you cough, sneeze or do anything that may cause you to push down, make sure you pull the muscles up instead to protect yourself. Pelvic floor exercises any earlier may cause a lot of discomfort which may put your off doing them when your ready so just make sure your resting enough.

My first bowel movement was about 4 days after the op and it was awful, almost like giving birth but you'll be relieved to know that those after have been much easier - I was very concerned about going again after the first.

Your earlier post caught my attention as like you, I have a 2 1/2 year old toddler to look after. My op was 12 days ago and it's challenging not lifting him so wondering how you are getting along?

Hi Rachel and thanks for your comment, feeling a bit down today my mums just taking my little girl to the park, she's been so good but she doesnt understand why I can't pick her up or go out and play with her. I've be attmeoted the pelvic floors again. I had a look down there and it still seems quite bulgy in appearance, just don't think I'll ever look normal down there again it's really knocked me this confidence wise. I am just glad I can wee ok as I had a tvt as well. I've done some colouring with her today sitting down and dressing the dolls but I'm worn out now so I'm bed whilst she's at the park. Just feel useless really. I'm sure the lump came down a bit after I went to the toilet. I'm taking stool softener to help as I'll dread having to have surgery again.

Sorry to hear that you are feeling down today Kelly but post op blues are quite common and I've had them a little to. They can be as a result of the anaestheitc, feeling like a burden or useless, stuggling with pain or worries about recovery. I think that mine was mixture of all and it sounds like yours probably is as well. I started to feel more like myself on Wednesday which 10 days post op so maybe that may help you to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Our little ones will be confused but remember that they do adapt quite quickly. My little one is doing much better than expected. He goes pre-school 4 days a week though and my sister is looking after him on the 5th day while my husband is at work. My mother-in-law has been here during some of the half term week so he has been home with us for the last 3 days and has really got the hang of the fact that I can't pick him up so he climbs on to my lap for a cuddle. I cannot look after him alone and am lucky to have a lot of support. Do you have much support? It sounds like your mum is there for you?

If you're really concerned about the bulges then it might be worth getting them checked, however, it is likely to be as a result of the swelling. I'm still unsure about anything buldging but as I was gaping before and have had a perineum repair, I feel more held together than I have in years. I haven't had a tvt so am unsure how different this will make the healing process but I know It is easy to expect too much too quickly. I think we all do it to some extent but we've had major surgery and need to give our bodies time to heal.

How long had you been experiencing problems before the surgery? Is it since the birth of your daughter or do you have other children too? 

My sex life changed after the birth of my first child in 2006 so I'm hopeful that things will improve going forward. My consultant didn't want to do both the posterior and anterior repair as he said it can restict the ability of both sides of the vaginal walll to stretch during sex. I convinced him to do it if he found it to be as bad as I thought it was during the surgery, which he did and so I have had both done.He said afterwards that I would have been back again for a 2nd surgery if he hadn't have done it so I'm relieved that I pushed my point across. I am scared about having sex again but I keep telling my husband that it can get any worse - I just hope that I'm right about that. My husbands first words about it after finding out that both had been done were 'it's not the end of the world if we can't have sex again, I can manage without, we can do other stuff'. He had no idea how bad that made me feel. He was trying to be supportive but doesn't seem to understand that the problem would lie with me. He could go and meet someone else if he wanted but meeting someone else wouldn't help me, my sex life would be gone forever so I don't even want to contemplate that possibility. I want to give myself enough time heal - sex may not be comfortable ages yet, I'm prepared for that, I just don't think that he is.

I've tried to respond to both of your posts in this one so hope I've managed that x

Hi Rachel yes I agree your right about the feeling down, all part of it I guess. My mums been fantastic, I've seperated from my daughters father. he is around and also very supportive. A big part of or separation was the prolapse and how I felt about it, effect on my confidence and our sex life etc.

I had been seeing someone new someone I have known for many years, sex isn't the main focus of our relationship but I'm hoping it will be once I'm obviously a bit more anxious about how it will be, what it will look and feel like like etc.

The problems all started once I had my baby, she was delivered by forceps so I had an episiotomy, prolonged labour also. The urinary incontinence started then the bulge appeared and just got worse and bigger to the point where I couldn't even wee properly without wiggling around and all sorts. And then sex was just a no go plus I couldn't feel a thing lol.

Maybe I'm hoping for too much. I wonder if there is anything I can take to improve the laxity of my vag walls. I also had large fibroids which contributed to the prolapse, they have been shrunk now and hopefully stay that way.

It's a lot to deal with in a short space of time and if it ended your sex life so quickly then I'm not surprised you're feeling so rubbish and up in the air about everything. I was only 22 when my traumatic forceps delivery happened and although I didn't know what was wrong everything changed with sex and how I felt about myself. Living with that for so long and finally knowing it's not in my head has probably helped me feel okay now as I have hope that I can get back what I lost over 10 years ago. Yours has all happened so quickly that I can see why you're struggling. Try to relax and allow yourself time to heal. I know it's not easy but we all have no choice but to be patient. It's nerve wrecking and exciting all at the same time for me.

My posterior repair greatly helped with laxity issues 👍🏼😜