Back to drinking after 4 months without.

Sorry to hear that you haven't been sleeping. I used alcohol as a crutch to help me sleep too, usually having one bottle of wine a night ( sometimes a bottle and a half)  I've started exercising which let's face it nobody wants to actually do but it helps me sleep better. I also now take half a Xanax or sometimes a full one to help me relax and get to sleep maybe one or two nights a week, if I have anxiety or know I am wound up, I find it helps. At least I can get some decent sleep which we all really need to function properly. Don't be so hard on yourself, we have all been there and I know from personal experience that the feelings of shame and self-loathing the next day can eat you up. Tomorrow is another day! 

Also 4 months without alcohol is a huge achievement so give yourself a pat on the back for that. 

Garth my heart goes out to you. I am struggling so hard not to over drink and I did last night. They very exact situation that I am afraid of for myself and so ashamed of. 

I am in the process of hopefully being treated with the Sinclair Method, but just as I discovered a pathway I had to go out of town before I could fully pursue it. I know today is a new day and all, but I feel so sad. 

Lack of sleep is sooo hard! I suffer from this too. I used to self medicate with drink to sleep and eventually my drinking became a problem. After sorting this out (too long for relevance to this post) I started recently thinking about self medicating again....I have managed to resist..just...but I did have a chat to my doctor about going back on an anti-depressant that helped my sleep before, I’d come off it as I’d discovered a link to Myeloma that my mother has). We discussed the pros and cons of life and I decided sleep deprivation was not good for quality of life so overall worth the possible risk involved. What I am TRYING to say is that you need to seriously find a way to tackle your sleeping problems even if this means using sleeping tablets! Way better than alcohol self medication and all that involves. Talk to your doctor, hopefully he is sympathetic! If not get another opinion. Good slick my friend! Lack of sleep is literally a killer!

I am the same on sleeping pills but they don't work all the time so I also self medicate maybe we could chat and figure out another way?

Gareth (I see auto correct changed your name in my previous message), do you have a Costco there?  I take their over-the-counter Kirkland Sleep Aid and it helps me. I also chew up 4 Sleepaide gummies each night. The gummies help me fall asleep, the sleep aide helps me stay asleep. 

MHi Gareth

What a familiar story, could have written it about myself years ago.

Dont be hard on yourself. The good thing here is you’ve recognised and admitted a potential problem.

As the previous posters have said we’ve all been there and self medicating leads to all sorts of problems.

It took me years to recognise that alcohol induced sleep is not the same as natural sleep. Yes you May be out for the count for several hours, but you wake up feeling worse and guilty, anxious and full of self loathing.

Alcohol is a depressant and ok it does make you feel better for a short while, but once it wears off, you feel worse. It’s like a merry go round which you can’t get off. A vicious circle.

I take nitrazapam to help me sleep, but they don’t work very well, basically because I’ve been taking them for years and my body is used to them. Like alcohol you eventually need more and more to get the desired effect.

As I’ve said, don’t beat yourself up and look at the positive. Lack of sleep does strange things to you. A dr once said to me, “no- one ever dies from lack of sleep”. A bit of a daft thing to say, but it’s true.

Ive learned to accept that no matter what I do, if I get 4 hours proper sleep a night, then I’ve had a good night. There’s many a night I don’t sleep at all, but I’ve learned rather than lying awake worrying, I either read, get up, watch tv or do jigsaws on my iPad. Sometimes I’ll then nod off for an hour or so. Even if I don’t, for me it’s far better than lying awake staring at the clock.

Well done on the 4 months without drinking. Stay positive and accept you’ve had a wobble. Get back on track again, you know you can do it.

Thanks for the replies really appreciate them all, last night I did not drink but couldn't fall asleep until 6am and I only got a couple of hours. Just sick to death of insomnia and feeling like crap because of it, it just grinds me down. Since having insomnia I am not the same person. I have gone from a relatively happy optimistic person to someone who is sad and pessimistic. It has wrecked my life.

Doctors think I was depressed when I started not sleeping but I wasn't. Just one night it suddenly began, closed my eyes and nothing happened I just tossed and turned all night. I think sleep anxiety creeped in during the following night and it spiralled from there really. Rapid heartbeat, sweats, dreading going to bed etc. That's when I chose alcohol because it calmed my brain down.