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Back to normal life...HOW did you do it experienced hippies?

Posted , 19 users are following.

rose0000
rose0000

Okay I am extremely grateful to have this problem firstly, and AM getting back to normal, and I will never stop feeling so grateful and happy I have my new and gorgeous hip and am regaining my life of sorts. The problems is that I haven't been out properly since last summer, the pain pre op made it impossible, the recovery post op too. Now it seems the powers that be have decided that my recovery is up and I am to now rejoin the human race....which is the moment I have waited for for so long..

Now it is here and....I am frightened half to death. Did anyone else feel this? I thought I would be bouncing out of the door joyfully never to look back.

However, I am finding it incredibly difficult to accept invitations, seem to have lost confidence socialising (after all what do I have to talk about apart from what has happened to me, it has been a major event in my life) even though I am more or less the same on the outside, something has shifted inside...and I still want to stay at home.

I worry about the dark, falliing over and being vulnerable, the uneven ground makes me nervous, shiny floors, seats too low ~ I could go on. In a word I still feel not especially ready. I don't particularly fancy drinking wine in case I hurt myself, I don't know how to 'manage' other people's expectations.

As far as my friends are concerned I am perfectly healthy again, but you know inside there is a little voice that is desperate to stay at home, continue to build up my strength and get some rest when I can (It is totally exhausting some days just keeping going with the children and life in general) I don't want my friends to get fed up with me (and they are quietly I can tell) It is boring having a friend you never see...I feel like a recluse. I don't want them to visit me at home as this feels like a nest and private space, I need to feel quiet.

When I have been out I feel overwhelmed by noise, people, keeping my hip safe, people seem really demanding, everyone is rushing, cars going faster than I get across the road etc.... 

How did you overcome this? 

11 likes, 82 replies

82 Replies

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  • Mabelsmum
    Mabelsmum rose0000

    Posted

    Oh bless you, I really feel for you, I'm sorry I don't have any advice as Im 3 weeks pre op and finding everything really difficult. I know pre op I wouldn't go anywhere without my dog. I can't walk her at the moment and its devastating not being normal. Keep positive, I've only just found this forum and everyone seems so nice and friendly I'm sure you'll get some good advice. 😊
    • cindy48619
      cindy48619 Mabelsmum

      Posted

      Welcome to the forum. I am 3 weeks away from surgery and I am getting such great support from this wonderful group. I live in the U.S but feel as connected to this group as if I lived overseas.  - CIndy
    • rose0000
      rose0000 Mabelsmum

      Posted

      I started walking my dogs on my own around seven weeks, and to this day it makes my heart sing, you will soon be walking your dogs enjoying the fresh air and sunshine. You are already three weeks, and soon you will be out walking again I promise!
    • sue1957Geo
      sue1957Geo Mabelsmum

      Posted

      I know you must be getting really nervous by now, but just keep looking at your dog and saying to yourself, in a month to 6 weeks, we are going for a walk, I promise you thats what got me through it all, that this wonderful family.  I wish you all the luck hun, just keep thinking positive and watching that dogs lead, it will be in your hands before you know it.

      Suexxx

  • khippie
    khippie rose0000

    Posted

    I only had Lthr on 3/3 so early days but I totally get your fears n share most of them - at mo I am really fussy on who visits - thats awful is nt ? I just feel I need to be in the mood for certain people , especially ones that are me me me !! Sont get me wrong I love to liaten to people ,support and offer them advice but really is times when it should nt be expected !!! (been wanting to moan about that since last week :-/ )

    I know I have a select few more understanding friends and already decided they are the ones I feel more comfortable with in my recovery - and after reading through all this I will deffo be calling on these for future outings , lunches etc

    I ve been thinking about how difficult it will be when I return to normality and kept telling myself I was being daft !!

    Xx

    Ps - rose you was one of the first to speak to me on here and offered such encouraging words :-) I hope everyone s encouraging words now help you as yours did me

    • rose0000
      rose0000 khippie

      Posted

      Well the great news, which is the case with this recovery all a long is that that patch has now passed, and I am definitely back in the swing of things. I now understand that all of our challenges are usually short lived, and then we go on to the next thing until eventually we are completely better!

      I am three months now and preparing for an eight hour flight for our holidays. It has gone by in a flash, and the recovery really picks up and suddenly you can do so much!

      Initially at your stage you do feel fragile, and only having the nicest, most gentle friends around you will be better for you. Keep things very short and sweet, so it does not exhaust, and know in your heart that you will soon be back on form - the recovery needs to take priority over everything.

      I have really tried to make time for all of exercises every day, time to rest, time to get used to the new circumstances...it all takes time, but the weeks go by and you will soon be whizzing around! 

    • Mabelsmum
      Mabelsmum khippie

      Posted

      I too am really fussy on who visits. I know I've upset a few people and I've felt really guilty about that. I'm just having to put myself first for a change. I'm 5 weeks now and for me the peace and quiet is just what I personally have needed. 

      Sending best wishes xx

    • lyn1951
      lyn1951 khippie

      Posted

      khippie - Don't you dare think that you are fussy, and that is awful. You are recovering from one of the biggest surgeries we can have done.

      I'm afraid you really discover during this time who your real friends are, and who are just there for themselves.

      Am I getting old and cynical, maybe, but I have learnt also to say NO rather than always being to one to say yes I can help, and I can change my lunch hour, but if I asked in return, it always fell into the too hard basket.

      Wonderful surgery, I hate to think how our grandparents and great grandparents coped, from what a nurse has told me they didn't, not a pretty story at all.

      You take all the time you need to get well, do it at your pace, we are all different.

      I had the experience of 12 weeks for first hip and 12 months for 2nd hip surgery, but 2nd hip has rare and very challenging problem.

    • khippie
      khippie Mabelsmum

      Posted

      Am glad to hear im not the only one :-) yes guilt seems to ba playing a big part these days , thankyou amd best wishes to you too xx
    • khippie
      khippie lyn1951

      Posted

      :-) thankyou so much for understanding . Yes I am usually the yes friend and this has nade me realize a few are there juat for them and I just cant be bothered , dont have energy mentally or physically . Wow twelve months :-( must of been tough , I am finding it tougher than I thought I would plus having few other problems @ mo . Not sure if related to surgery but waiting for dr s call back @ mo . Again thankyou for support and understanding , this site is great :-) x
    • lyn1951
      lyn1951 khippie

      Posted

      khippie - I can relate to you so well.

      My issues are minor in comparision with my husbands, so I have life threatening heart issue waking up beside me every morning, and today is another day he is here.

      5 years after top cardiologist predicted his death in 30 days, letter to GP to not sign his death certificate, and saying not expected to survive any more than those 30 days, on the first week in Mar 2011.

      He had a infection fo the heart muscle or so they think, and the survival rate is extremely low, we will never know for sure, now as they never did a biopsy of his heart muscle, he was too weak.

      They did do a angiogram, and feared it would kill him, I had to sign the permission forms, but he got through that as well.

      We are now on the verge of having a cardiac regulator device installed, and his natural electrical signals in his heart killed off and replaced by this cigarette packet sized device, similar to a pacemaker, but has three leads.

      We see the specialist on the 12 April if not sooner, he has not been well and last week or so, I may have to take him back to the heart hospital again if he doesn't improve, he is in low grade congestive heart failure, but it does not seem to be getting worse, I have given him his fluid tablets, which drain his lungs of excess fluid.

      As you can see I have learn't far more than I ever thought I would learn in a lifetime about heart failure and the various complications.

      Even senior Dr asked me where I did my nursing training, NO Training, he said even so he could do with me on the heart wards, I have saved my husbands life 3 times by getting him to the hospital in time to save his life.

      What do they say about what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I have come to believe that.

      You go ahead and ask the forum ANY question you want.

      We the forum have had some VERY PERSONAL questions and they have been answered with sympathy and suggestions, hope that is the right words, even questions that sometimes give you pause before asking Dr.

       

    • Rocketman_SG6UK
      Rocketman_SG6UK lyn1951

      Posted

      Lyn,

      So glad your husband has been defying the doctor's prognosis, hope you continue to have a good quality life together.

      How right you are, we do have very personal questions and stories here, and they are always handled with sensitivity and sympathy. It is truly an amazing forum composed of some of the most wonderful friends who just haven't met each other face-to-face yet.

      Best wishes

      Graham - 🚀💃

    • khippie
      khippie lyn1951

      Posted

      Both you and your husband are doing amazing . Keep it up together :-)

      Without this I dont know what I would be doing as I have had so much contradictory advice given by hospital staff ,as I have said before . Many thanks for your kind words - you take care x

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