Bad experience has left me horribly shaken up.

Posted , 5 users are following.

My anxiety and agoraphobia have been really intense lately as some of you will know.

I take diazepam which is moderately helpful but not really enough, my gp had given me the option to increase it, I did increase my night dose but had been reluctant to increase the morning dose as well.

This went on for 3 weeks, my anxiety in the morning became intolerable but I was still reluctant to increase the diazepam further.

I decided to try an anti-depressant instead, I knew it would take time to work but hoped that it was a foot in the right direction at least, I took 15mg Mirtazapine as prescribed on Friday night and all hell broke loose!

I started to hallucinate badly, I didn't even know it at the time, I insisted I was dreaming but my husband clearly knew I was wide awake, this went on into the next day, my husband was calling doctors who said ideally I should be in hospital but I was refusing to go, in the end they said cease treatment immediately and told my husband to watch me closely.

Saturday evening the hallucinations had stopped but I still felt unwell, achey, itchy, sky high anxiety etc.

Monday morning I woke up and had the worst migraine I had ever had in my life, my husband got me to my doctor who said that it was bad reaction and stress, physically I am okay.

Mentally though I just cannot heal, I still have my usual anxiety and agoraphobia to cope with but what with this past weekend things feel a hundred times worse and my confidence is rock bottom.

I did go out with my husband today but felt so anxious and scared, it's hard enough anyway and the extra stress has set me right back.

My GP said to take the extra Diazepam in the morning if I need it, she wants me to have a break from new meds after the bad experience but at the moment I don't want to increase it because I just want to be in my 'own' head if that makes sense, I spent days out of it and just want the fog to clear.

Honestly though I have no idea how I will ever get over it, my emotional state was fragile enough as it was and now it's even worse, I know that no one can make this any better for me but really I just needed to vent.

It took 15 years to pluck up the courage to take a new med and this is what happened, I fear I will never be the same again.

I don't want to scare anyone off of Mirtazapine, it might be perfect for some people, it was just so wrong for me but now I have wounds that I fear wont heal from it and a whole lot of anxiety and agoraphobia that was already there to work my way through, I am just emotionally shattered sad


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22 Replies

  • Posted

    No advice sorry. But seriously I had a bad reaction/situation due to being on 35mg or mirtazapine.

    It's no good for some people.

    But hope you'll be ok.

    I suffer with sever anxiety and social phobia and depression and waiting undiagnosed personality/dissociation disorders

    Message me if you want to talk x

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    • Posted

      Thank you kellie, I'm really sorry to hear that your experience of Mirtazapaine was bad too, I only took one tablet and was shocked at how dreadfully it affected me.

      I really hope I can move on from the experience and find a new way to tackle my anxiety, good luck with finding a way forward with yours too xx

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  • Posted

    Many new AD medications are cleaner than the older ones and can then have less contraindiations. The problem is mix and match so your GP and yourself are in a strange place at this time.

    He/She will want to wait to see how you are getting on before, changing to any other medications. In my case I had problems with two unrelated medication groups and now they only have one drug that controls my Chronic Pain.

    I was more lucky with my AD, although some medications I took were withdrawn from my script. In fact it took near on a year to match and select the best drugs that married together. I now am stable, although my options have been severly reduced.

    All I can suggest is be paient and they will be able to marry medications that will suit you

    We are always around


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    • Posted

      Thank you BOB, yes it is very tricky trying to find the right combination, all trial and error where we react differently.

      I will feel much happier when I am certain that the Mirtazapine is completely out of my system, I think it may be already but half lives confuse me.

      I will return to my GP when I feel I am over this experience to discuss what we can try next, hopefully the next attempt wont be so horrific, I can cope with some extent of side effects but a severe, adverse reaction does take a bit of time to heal from emotionally.

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    • Posted

      Dosage (mg) Concentration. This is based in 15mg of your pill using 40hr half life. The worst case scenario on how long this medicine can stay in yiur system.

      40 hrs 7.5 mg 50%

      80 hrs 3.8 mg 25%

      120 hrs 1.9 mg 12.5%

      160 hrs 0.9 mg 6.25%

      200 hrs 0.5 mg 3.125%

      240 hrs 0.2 mg 1.562%

      280 hrs 0.1 mg 0%


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    • Posted

      The half life of your med is 20-40hrs. So based on your dosage and a 20 hour half scenario it leaves your body comoletely....


      20 hours - 8 mg / 50%

      40 hours - 4 mg / 25%

      60 hours - 2 mg / 13%

      80 hours - 1 mg / 6%

      100 hours - 0 mg / 3%

      120 hours - 0 mg / 1%

      140 hours - 0 mg / 0%

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much for that, i am currently about 90.5 hours since taking it so it's going, just hope it isn't causing me withdrawals and that this odd skin feeling is just stress or something.

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  • Posted

    That sucks. No other words for that experience. So sorry. 

    You are just not in the right enviornment and under the correct care to really get the well needed help you seriously need to get all this manageable. 

    Not saying its a hopeless scenario playing out, because it is not. I just dont have any usefull advice past what i have already said. You need in patient care.  Your body needs to be relieved of all the benzos that are being pumped in to them and get a whole new regime. And a lot of useful therapy on coping and skills and such. 

    Pretty sure that just scared you off of trying new meds, understand  but there are ones that would be more usefull. Trial and error. But that was one heck if a bad experience.

    wishing you a ton of stregnth and courage to somehow get thru all this mess.

    The mind is more powerful then any medicine out there so maybe you will find a way to beat this.


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    • Posted

      Thank you Lisa, i really am absolutely in pieces right now, i will try something else once i am over this awful experience, i so want to get better and it was just incredibly unlucky that the first new med i tried in years did that to me.

      I am getting zero help from the mental health team, my GP has complained to them but they don't even listen to her, it's dreadful.

      My husband is taking really good care of me bless him, i honestly thank god for him at the moment because i don't think i would be here if he wasn't looking after me.

      Since yesterday i have been having random patches of prickly and itchy sensations all over my skin, never had that before and now i am scared in case it's a withdrawal from that medication, i know it was only one tablet and the docs will say it isn't possible but it's frightening me.

      I will try to stay strong and pray this gets better soon.


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    • Posted

      You are having a reaction to the medicine. So so so sorry bella. I gave you the layout information on the half life stuff above. Best and worst scenario in timespan.

      it will get better will. Look at the charts above. Every half life that goes by it will improve. 


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    • Posted

      Thank you so much, i will hold tight to the thought that as each stage passes i am closer to having the medicine out of my system, of course with anxiety you worry that everything is serious and can never be okay again but it really helps to see how it will reduce with the passing of time.
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    • Posted

      Completely guessing here...but id try and drink a lot of water the next couple of days. Flush it thru your body. And maybe shower twice a day in case it is somehow sweating thru your skin? Causing skin stuff. who knows. Just to help move it along. And rehydrate the bidy as well.
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    • Posted

      Thank you Lisa, the doctor told me to drink lots of water to flush it through so I'm doing that, going to have a shower in a minute too.

      I called the crisis team for reassurance and the guy there was hopeless and said "oh so you have paranoid schizophrenia then", I haven't got that at all, he just refused to believe the tablet could do that, I told him to ask the 3 doctors I have consulted who assured me that it is the tablet and hung up on him, these people are enough to drive anyone crazy sad

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