bad night with anxiety because I ate cereal at 2am

could be somthing else though so i'd get a second opinion

hope you feel better  :-)  

because of all my medical restrictions

i have had complex parcial epilepsy and autism since a baby, i have deslexia and dispraxia, carn't drive because of the epilepsy and have just had examinations to find that i have a hiatis hernia, stripped stomach lining and possible allergy to gluten

but you have to channel all that aside and ask yourself what you want to do in life, how much have i got that starving dieing millions havent, and take it one step at a time.

remember it dosent matter how big your step is you cant do two steps in one

all that matters is that you move towards your goal in life at whatever speed is comfortable to you.

dont worry though i do get this and while it is horrible if you panic you are at risk of making the pain worse as it is kinda stress related

anyway just remember when each time it happens

think over, and though what you are stressed, anxious or deppressed about and think what you can do to remove the stress.

i.e if i have a busseness appointment and am worried somting might go wrong and get stressed out so much beforhand and forget vital things and keep forgetting what i should be doing it probbably will go wrong on the day, if on the other hand i get my best clothes ready clean my shoes prepare a script and practice it till i can read it without looking and go in with a confident happy feeling because i have all my guns loaded (speaking metaphorically) the results will be quite different

and am currently on sick pay and have been for a month

i am only 20

and somtimes you think life just sucks dont you

but i tell you lifes interesting lifes a jorney

but now is the perfect time to take a long quiet time and think what do i really want to be where do i really want to go

and write down a list of realistic goals that are easy to achive

and a goal of where to be by year end

and do this each year

just remember you can only take one step at a time it dosent matter how big your step is you cant do two steps in one

and there is nothing more demoralising than an unachived goal 

you will get knock back in life thats how it is. even the richest, most athletic, best movie star, highest political charater will all have problems

i know its hard but we need to make the impossible possible, the unhappy happy and the weak strong

we will get knockbacks, i started my own bussines but had to stop it because of this recent condition

and i got quite deppresed being off work and not being able to run my bussines either

but i was looking at it wrong

why had this happened

why had god given me this ilness what was he trying to show me by it

and i started thinking and a hernia is caused by overlifting and physical stain and i do a manual job

for not much cash

and i am studiyng graphic design

so i thought and thought and thought till i cold think no more

and decided that i should go into design and while i am ill i can finnish my course

and i planned out goals that to the average person looked lazy and silly but to me they were targets

and remember if you set a goal easy you smash it easy and quickly with satisfaction if you set an over optimistic one you will get very deppressed because you did not fulfil it

and take them one by one step by step day by day

remember nothing here will buy happyness

we have to do that ourselves

keep going [lol]

and severe tummy ache