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Bad thoughts!!!!!! Help!

Posted , 12 users are following.

juanita93228
juanita93228

Does anybody have dark thoughts about the future? I mean I used to have no problem planning ahead and just assuming I would be around to do whatever I was planning. Now I think "hopefully I'll be alive". I'm feel afraid to plan ahead.

5 likes, 42 replies

42 Replies

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  • jacqueline06286
    jacqueline06286 juanita93228

    Posted

    Hi,

    I feel the same I'm not myself with all these perimenapause symptoms 

    I started perimenapause about 4 months ago and I feel so hopeless 

    They say it will get better once the hormones settle 

  • jacqueline06286
    jacqueline06286 juanita93228

    Posted

    Can you share your symptoms and did you starred perimenapause, it will help us all well to share each others symptoms 
    • juanita93228
      juanita93228 jacqueline06286

      Posted

      Okay, I have to say I breezed thru peri. Stopped my period in 2010 and had no symptoms until 2014. I can't really really describe the feeling. I know rationally I can plan and most likely I'll be around but my mind takes over and my thinking becomes dark and irrational.

  • lisa68384
    lisa68384 juanita93228

    Posted

    Me too! It's so hard to motivate myself on my bad days. Mentally I'm just not who i use to be. Even with the things I love. My brain just doesn't work some days. I get flustered easy with the details of planning, paying bills, etc. Add in fatigue and all my other symptoms. It does feel like death. Harf to believe it's all hormones. I've been at this 18 months now. So many women have had this for years! I weep for the old me sad

    • jacqueline06286
      jacqueline06286 lisa68384

      Posted

      Here I am thinking this crazy thoughts having perimenapause symptoms and thinking that there is something wrong with me I'm having this scary feeling that it's not perimenapause and that is something else I have this ear head neck and shoulder pain since Dec some days can be a little better but it's just there.

    • juanita93228
      juanita93228 lisa68384

      Posted

      That's a good way to put it Lisa. I weep for the old me. I came into my symptoms late. I my doctor last Thursday "What happened? I used to be fearless". She said "You will be again, we've just gotta get you over this hump".

  • lisa68384
    lisa68384 juanita93228

    Posted

    Do any of you get afraid to plan things because your not sure if u will be able to follow thru because of the inconsistency of symptoms?
    • ImagineOneDay
      ImagineOneDay lisa68384

      Posted

      I have stopped planning and making promises. I had to cancel or find excuses for not attending some meetings. I now came to the conclusion that THIS PERI -me cannot stick to plans. Also I seem to be late leaving home and late going to places. Totally out of character. But I guess this is my new but hopefully temp character. smile
    • Gypsy014
      Gypsy014 ImagineOneDay

      Posted

      Hi imagine and Lisa, I stopped planning as well.. Can not do it! Never know how bad I could possibly feel.. And if I do absolutely need to do something that can't be changed my anxiety goes thru the roof just thinking of what it is I need to do and where I need to go its ridiculous... I just wanted to know how it makes you feel when you need to go do something that can't be changed, and you absolutely just have to be there?

    • juanita93228
      juanita93228 ImagineOneDay

      Posted

      I used to get to work early every day. But now I'm late at least two days a week. If it's a tough week, I'm late every day.

    • lisa68384
      lisa68384 Gypsy014

      Posted

      Gypsy, just like you. I run an organic flower farm. So hard to do now. The planning is insane and i struggle to complete it but i push thru. On my bad days i literally cry from row to row but That's ok because it's my own property on my own time slot. BUT, then it's time to sell. I have to actually be around people and act normal and be at a certain place at a certain time and my anxiety is high. Even worse...church! Where I have to sit quietly and pretend to be normal...oh my. I just push myself a lot. And try to surround myself with the few friends I have who can accept me as the mess thst i am right now. You're not alone...I fight that anxiety too. We push thru.

    • ImagineOneDay
      ImagineOneDay Gypsy014

      Posted

      In that case I just feel very anxious, misirable and remind myself that it will be over at some point and I just had to hate it but go ahead with it. I sometimes takes rescue remedy drops too. Not sure if it helps but I take anyway. It is not easy. I am really trying to change those 'must' situations to 'ypu don't have to' as much as I can a the moment. But it is not always simple.

    • ImagineOneDay
      ImagineOneDay lisa68384

      Posted

      One other thing about planning is that i sometimes feel good and feel that I can conquer the world and I make plans and very happy about them. But son afterwards I regret it and don't want to go ahead with it. Then the dilama and going through cancellation; guilt, feeling useless etc...

  • vicky77852
    vicky77852 juanita93228

    Edited

    Feel the same. I’m 42 and on hrt. My early meno makes me feel in despair. I think a lot about death, diseases and that the life will go on without me...I find myself thinking miserable things and have too dark things. I’m also scared about hrt but it’s a necessity for me. 
    • jacqueline06286
      jacqueline06286 vicky77852

      Posted

      Can you describe your symptoms when you first started perimenapause and how long did you have your symptoms any little info helps me especially if I just started perimenopause about 4 months ago 
    • ImagineOneDay
      ImagineOneDay jacqueline06286

      Posted

      How do you know you started perimenapause 4 months ago please? I think I only realised after a year or so that all my odd symptoms were due to peri. I for a long time thought something was really wrong with me when I had different issues and problems months after months. So I was very slow diagnosing myself.
    • jacqueline06286
      jacqueline06286 ImagineOneDay

      Posted

      I started researching then I found this forum and I can relate to other women symptoms like the ear neck shoulder pain headache that comes and goes also there are other women here that also have teeth ach and gums these symptoms started first with gerd then in Dec I started these other symptoms and then fatigue dizzy which comes and goes 

      How did you started and what symptoms did you have 

    • lisa68384
      lisa68384 ImagineOneDay

      Posted

      Let's chat symptoms! Mine started with waking up and not being able to get back to sleep. Followed by body pain, weird buzzing feelings in my body, joint stiffness, fatigue, weird eye symptoms, off balance feeling, insomnia, anxiety, mood swings or depression (not sure what it is yet), tinnitus, weird/spaced out feeling, brain fog, sore breasts, irregular cycles, heart palpitations, weird head pressure, and the list goesn on and on. My symptoms rotate and bounce around.

      I went to ten doctors and spent over 10k to be told I am healthy. Went to specialists, rheumatologist, neurologist, etc. I have test results the thickness of a phone book.

      It wasn't until after a year and tracking and journaling that i began to notice it relating to my cycles.

      I have had hormone testing done Just in the last few months and I'm still trying to figure out what to do next. It's been a difficult journey to say the least!

    • jacqueline06286
      jacqueline06286 lisa68384

      Edited

      I know I've been going crazy I also get brain fog I'm going to a neorologist tomorrow and then of to the cardiologist so he can clear me and then back to my obg so I can get hrt as I sit here I feel my tooth aching that comes and goes I'm scheduled to go to the dentist but all this started when perimenapause kicked in, did you get ear neck pain shoulder 

    • lorraine59875
      lorraine59875 vicky77852

      Posted

      Hi Vicky, please can you tell me how long you have been on hrt and are they making a difference.?
    • juanita93228
      juanita93228 vicky77852

      Edited

      I just feel better knowing I'm not alone. I mean it's an awful club to be a member of, but at least we have each other. I used to have no problem going to the movies alone. Now I won't do it. I think what if something happens and I croak all alone in the movie and they come in and find me? Every twinge, ache, or pain is a dread disease.

      I don't have time for this. I have a house to sell, a car to buy, and finances to procure.

    • jacqueline06286
      jacqueline06286 vicky77852

      Edited

      Hi vicky, 

      I still feel fatigue now a little while ago I started getting gallbladder pain I know when you are in perimenapause some women can get gallbladder, my obg wants to do a complete physical before she puts me on hrt so now I'm scheduled to go see a cardiologist to get the ok ,I'm really praying that hrt will be the answer for me 

    • vicky77852
      vicky77852 jacqueline06286

      Posted

      Hope to feel better soon!

      Hrt isn’t a magic cure but it helps a lot providing your body with the estrogen it needs.

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