Benefits of using olanzapine as an anti-psychotic

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Hey guys. I've been on 20mg of olanzapine for several years now. I am really alarmed by the amount of stories from people on the web who chose to discontinue this drug. It's virtually impossible to read anything positive about the benefits of using this drug. From what I've read people experience unbearable withdrawals when weaning off this drug and worse still for many, the problems they experienced when they started this drug return and they wind up back in hospital. Surely someone else out there can understand the advantages of taking an anti-psychotic to ward off experiencing acute psychosis. My worst episode of psychosis drove me to terrifying suicidal and quite ashamedly, homocidal thoughts as well. I don't want to underestimate these given their very serious nature. It's just disillusioning to read so much venom towards this drug. Perhaps, I am just pro-medication but apart from very unpleasant side-effects for the first couple of years, my mood finally stabilised and I can honestly say that generally I am a happy individual. I have read though that using olanzapine can lead to cardiovascular disease and diabetes. I am too afraid though to come off this drug as I am terrified of the kind of psychosis I experienced returning. Does anybody out there have anything positive to say about using olanzapine or should I believe all the free-spirited conversations about this drug that dominate the Internet? I know I should discuss any changes to my medication with a psychiatrist but I am happy with my levels of creativity and function normally overall. I'm afraid to rock the boat. I don't think I could endure another depression post mania. I can't bear anxiety either so maybe I'm being cowardly or too drug compliant but fear of stepping back into acute phases of my illness are deterring me from risking everything in an attempt to take control of an illness that has plagued so much of my adulthood. Can anybody relate? I don't mind hearing from people either who have strong oppositions towards using this drug. 

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    I been on olanzapine for probably 12yrs and its been nothing but a lifesaver for my. My situation is similar to yours, the severe depression and I am absolutely terrified of myself when I have been physcotic. Very dangerous actually. I thank God for ZYPREXA because I have remained stable and fairly symptom free for years. Alot of people don't realize that sometimes it takes awhile for a Doctor to get they right combination of meds. that work for certain chemical imbalances as they can all be a little different. It was not easy at all dealing with clinical depression, physcosis with delusions,auditory and olfactory hallucinations but I feel I was fortunate my Dr. worked very well with me so I got through it. With 21 yrs of physciatric medication and 17 yrs of physcotherepy I learned to manage my symptoms and now live a happy, productive, positive life. I also got to know my Dr. well and trust him which made a big difference.

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