Bleeding started nearly two weeks after anterior/ posterior repair

Oh LadyPink you never fail to cheer me up.I chuckle at your responses that are so funny. Well I'm still waiting to hear from the hospital re: check up,will be ringing the docs again tomorrow morning. Still not swinging from them damn chandeliers,keep trying but still way too painful,will my undercarriage ever be normal again???

what is undercarriage? (sorry)

Hi Chey, What Rosieod1 means when she talks of your 'undercarriage' is the 'underneath part of your anatomy - the part that's hidden when you are sitting down - otherwise known here in the UK as our 'privates'. It's UK Speak. We can always tell Brits from anyone else by our humorous way of talking. Hope that helps. LadyPink

Thank you, I was trying hard to figure out what it meant without asking! How long after surgery should my "undercarriage" be normal? And when can I use it again(sex)?        

Ha, I used it in a sentence!

Hi Chey, You can always ask questions. You'll find that most of us Brits are very open and honest.

My gynaecologist (a lady) asked me several times when I went to see her post op - I had a problem with stitches not dissolving for a little while and then had to have the area cauterised to heal the tissue so I visited her on about three occasions - she kept asking if I'd "resumed sex yet?" Slightly bemused I enquired, "No, not yet - but why do you keep asking me about SEX??!" This would have been at around 6-8 week. She explained that sex was good exercise after this operation, as during sex the woman's tummy and vagina muscles all pull in and tightened. She'd added with a cheeky grin "It makes you feel good too". All of this hastens the healing as everything goes back into place firmly. Anyway, I guess after that, it was at around 10 weeks that we started again. Both my husband and I were very anxious, nervous and cautious. A drink or two helped us relax. Everything proved to be absolutely fine; no worries. From then on, all went far better than we could have ever imagined. 'Delighted' is the word I like to use. Well, that was my story but everyone is different. We all heal at different rates. Some quicker than others. You will know yourself when the time is right. Naturally things wont feel quite as they did before to the touch - down below, but of course they wont. You soon get used to the 'new you' and as for my lovely husband, I asked him how things 'felt' and he said GREAT -"Things didn't seem different at all", apart from tighter. This intimate side of married life was so important to me and I had worried a lot about it. I hadn't been remarried long (had been a widow for a while). My fears were unfounded. Things are great. I am so thrilled and delighted with the outcome and these days I always have a smile on my face to prove it. I hope all goes as well for you and for everyone having/or who've had, this type of surgery. Best wishes. LadyPink

Ha ha LadyPink,another great uplifting post from you. Been back on the phone this morning to my doctor's surgery to find out what is going on re: me seeing a gynaecologist.Receptionist very sympathetic and said she would look into it and if not her,the afternoon lady would get back to me.Well guess what?? No reply again. Will be back onto them again tomorrow,am going to be a proper pain in the arse,excuse pun,until someone does something for me.Hub  and I had a tentative try at sex again the other night but no can do,still think they have sewed up my undercarriage,there is just no way in,without extreme pain,getting really fed up with this now. Post op eleven weeks tomorrow,surely things should be slightly more normal by now? Yours, getting more frustrated by the day,in more ways than one :D Rose x

Hi Rose, 

A friend of mine warned me before my procedure, to remind the surgeon not to do the stitches too tight. Yeah, seriously. She'd had the same operation as me four years prior to mine and she was unable to successfully have sex afterwards - for a while.. She said she had to finally go back and have the vagina 'nicked' a little to open it up a bit. "That did the trick" she said, but added " Anyway, me and mee hubby don't do it anymore now....so that were a waste really...!" HaHa  (True story).

Remembering my friend's warning, just before I went to the operating theatre, my consultant/surgeon came to speak to me on the ward. I reminded her that as I was still 'sexually active' would she please not do the stitches too tight. She was so lovely and so understanding and told me "not to worry" she would make sure all was well. And of course it was.

It could be that you are right and that the 'undercarriage' has been sewn too tightly. That would explain a lot. Or, as you use the word tentatively....If you are nervous, that might 'hinder' things. Have a couple of glasses of wine, get loads of lube, and see how ya go. 

In the meantime, carry on pestering the secretary and hope she'll get you in to see your gynaecologist soon. Honestly you can get this sorted in no time so don't worry all will be well very soon. LadyPink

Oh my, your posts make me feel so much better. I could have had this surgery a little less than a year ago but my doctor didn't explain that it would fix my problems. She made it sound like the front opening little bit would be tightened but that the rest would be loose and I wasn't satisfied with that. Sex definitely tightened me up, especially now. My boyfriend's penis is smaller than my ex's but it made me a little tighter and he is WAY more experienced. Definitely knows his way around my lady places! or my undercarriage as some say, now that I am learning new words! I know the pain will really suck but I actually look forward to all of it because it is on the road to where I want to be. I have never had a surgery and never been put under but I am sure it'll be fine. Thank you for your encouragement and lifting me up. I was shaking at my last appointment but with more of a background knowledge on it I do feel better now! Thank you!

Oh my goodness, it sounds like they have made you a born again surgery. I know right now it is very frustrating, but at the same time, it is giving you a little extra time to heal up and everything. I am sure once it's all said and done you will have the BEST sex ever. Your husband is waiting for a blessing. I really hope there is a magic trick to make me that tight. I am the complete oposite. Hopefully I will be similar after the 27th!

I really do hope you feel better though and hopefully you were just nervous and tense and just need to relax and get comfortable with you hubby. Try cuddling naked and watching a few shows with him just to warm up before the foreplay even begins, then rub him a little and go slow. Do whatever soothes you, afterall, he is taking your virginity now! Good luck

Hi Chey, Rosie, and Everyone, I'm so happy to read your all your positive feedbacks. So many of the past postings on this website, whilst informative were full of 'doom and gloom'. I wanted be more uplifting to show you there was light at the end of the tunnel. Excuse the pun!

When my late husband was diagnosed with a rare incurable brain disease we both cried and cried and were so scared of what was going to happen; how we would cope etc. We had never even heard if his illness. Through reading as much as I could about it though, I shared the facts with him; I kept no secrets and together we became strong and less afraid. Each stage that lay ahead we recognised as it came and we coped. Suddenly neither of us were afraid. We faced the enemy.

Having our Gynae/urinary problems can also fill us with fear - fear of the unknown too - obviously not a fatal disease, but nonetheless just as scary but in different ways. All this because none of us know in the beginning what's going on in our bodies or know what will happen in the future, By arming ourselves with knowledge, we become stronger and confident and thus armed with knowledge we are able to ask the right questions of our doctors without fear or embarrassment. There are still more male gynaecologists than female so they can't possibly know or understand US ladies can they? We have to be sure that we can make the right choices for ourselves.

I am now 70, remarried in 2012 and have a very happy & sexually active life once again.

Best wishes to all of you. LadyPink

Fab start to my day ladies,reading your hilarious posts. Off to the surgery this afternoon to find out face to face what has happened to my missing referral with the Gynae people.

LadyPink you are an absolute inspiration with your upbeat approach to life.Very sad about your first husband but what luck to find love and sex later in life. I know young people think that once we get to a certain age that we are past it but like you I met and married my wonderful toy boy hub.

Chey I'm not at all worried about having sex again,in fact it is me that keeps instigating it but we just can't do it,this is why I need to go back and get checked out to make sure that they haven't done the stitches too tight. It's one thing being a born again virgin but no good if penetration is absolutely impossible. I am so glad I came across this site and been able to share my worries with like minded people. As you said LadyPink most gynaecologists are men and they have no idea how we feel,was only saying that to my husband yesterday.

Anyway onwards and upwards to the day when we are all healed and dusting off them chandeliers lol 

Have a good day everyone 

Good for you gal! I like your attitude too. All the best this afternoon and don't take 'No' for an answer. I'm a great believer in gut feelings and we are the ones who know our bodies best. Remember too 'Those who shout the loudest get heard' (but always be polite and courteous as I'm sure you are). Oh, and smile.

Let us know how you get on. LadyPink X

Went into docs surgery today to have a chat with receptionist,she had been e mailing and faxing hospital and was still waiting for a reply,said if she heard anything would text me,well still no response.Think I'm going to have to go to the hospital and barricade myself in and demand for someone to examine my undercarriage lol (especially for you Chey :D)

Hi Rose, Don't know why but was under the impression you were actually going in to see your doctor...... not just the receptionist. How disappointing. I had completely got the wrong end of the stick hadn't I? Are you living in the UK and if so, so can't you phone your consultant's secretary yourself. Her number will be on your hospital letter. LadyPink

Ha! I really hope they get on board and if I were you, I would go hunt down whoever it is that needs to do my exam and figure out what is going on. I would find the Dr that stitched me too tight and say hey, you need to see me. This whole referral thing is getting to be a bit much, and it is taking too long and I want to test drive my new vagina so HURRY UP! lol. I find that acting like a crazy person makes people work a bit faster to get you going!

Have been to see the doc and she was going to fax the hospital to say I needed to be seen asap,that was 15th January. I have phoned the secretary and left messages but have had no reply. Had a tele con with the doc 2 weeks ago and he was going to chase the hospital again. Now I'm onto them to keep on at the hospital,to get an appointment to find out what is going on down there. Yes I'm in the UK,in Hertfordshire. 

Regards Rose

Almost 13 weeks post op now and still not able to have sex Thank God the hub is so patient. Still not heard from the hospital,have been in contact with the doctors surgery every other day and they still haven't had any response from the hospital either. Monday I am going into bloody meltdown about this. It's not right at all and am totally fed up with it

Have you rang the consultants secretary to find out what's going on?

Yes I have and so have my surgery,this is what is so annoying,they are just not responding at all

 

What's the matter with these people? Just can't understand them. Shocking example of the NHS.

Was surprised when they told me there was no outpatients follow up to my op and that I had to see my GP.OK. But then I developed a serious UTI plus thrush,been to see my GP and nurse for various problems but I want to see someone at the hospital to check me over to tell me if everything is OK which clearly it isn't.

Of course you need to be seen by the consultant who did your operation. That's normal procedure especially with major surgery. Never heard of this before.

Apparently Watford General don't do outpatients follow up procedures,you have to see your GP which I have done but as my GP said they are just GP's not gynaecologists and so don't know if everything is as it should be

 

Absolutely. The surgeon who performs the operation is really the only person who knows if everything is ok.

Yes indeed Matron but if no-one will respond to my/our queries what am I to do? 

Complain to the Patient Relation Department at the hospital or to PALS. You'll find their details on the hospital website.

Thank you,that is what my doctor suggested so that is my next port of call,shouldn't have to come to this though should it?

Just a thought.where is LadyPink? No word from her in a while,hope she is ok xx

No it shouldn't but at the end of the day it's your health and that's the important thing in all of this. Good luck and take care.

Thank you so much Matron,so hoping to get this sorted asap x

Keep in touch and let us know how you get on.

Will do xx

 

Hi Rosie, I'm still here, reading the postings and agreeing very much with what matron has already said. I haven't interjected therefore. Today I had to have my dog 'put down' after vets suddenly found a huge cancer on her liver. With my husband away all week things have been stressful at home. I'm really sorry to hear of your plight. Your story is pretty disgusting and a sad reflection of the state of some of our our NHS hospitals today. Maybe 'Panorama' might be interested? LadyPink X

So sorry to hear of your sad news LadyPink,was really worried as you hadn't made any comments for a couple of weeks,so pleased that you are still with us and hope your hub is back home again and you are happy again. Will be onto PALS at Watford on Monday,got to get this sorted once and for all x

 

So sorry to hear this news Lady Pink. Look after yourself ~ it's a difficult thing to cope with, especially when it's sudden.

Rosie ~ just a thought ~ what if you turned up at the hospital and asked to see the consultant's secretary? Maybe face to face you'd get somewhere. Sounds like pretty poor treatment. Even if your own consultant was ill / on holiday, someone else should be able to see you.

Thanks Moira,think if I don't get any joy this week,it's going to have to be the way to go for me x

That is a really good idea moira and you are right if a referral was made to a consultant who was not at work the secretary would pass it on to another consultant.